#anyway writing this gave me so much switch thoughts I am dead on the floor | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bratkook · 4 years ago

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girls like you. (m) kth

‘swear to god she's a blessing and a curse, should’ve learned from you’

pairing. taehyung x reader genre. smut, some plot (not really) word count. 26k warnings. three separate smut scenes: masturbation in a public bathroom, handjob, exhibitionism on a bus, tae creeps on oc’s nudes, brief mentions of oc being a sex worker, dirty talk, messy sex, praising, grinding, pussy job, cum swallowing, overstimulation, forced orgasms, oral (m. receiving), fingering, begging, use of sex toys (hitachi), color system, use of safe word (yellow not red), crying, edging, choking, cockwarming, oc is very much straight forward and ‘in charge’ but def not a dom summary. girls like you were the ones he desired from afar. girls like you weren’t the girls you take home to mother. girls like you knew the power they had over a boy like him and fuck, did he love it. note. this is a reupload of an older story that i took down to be re-edited. it’s essentially pure filth with some plot and it’s mostly an excuse to write something where Taehyung is a little submissive compared to the reader. also 100% inspired by the song girls like u by blackbear. please let me know your thoughts on this thank u ilysm !!

The daily commute from his home to university was always long and boring to put it simply. The monotonous routine was something he could do with his eyes closed. It started the same every morning, waking up with sleep still heavy on his lids, grabbing a quick bite to eat from the convenience store by the bus stop, and waiting in the differing degrees of weather until the hunk of metal creeped up the street.

There was one plus to dragging himself out of bed at the ungodly hour of five am in order to catch the bus on time—really why did he ever think choosing morning classes was the way to go—regardless, the blessing came in the form of a near empty bus the second he stepped on.

Considering he was one of the first stops for this route, he’s lucky enough to always snag a seat. It's the same seat every time and he’s almost positive the regular riders knew this by now. Snagging a seat meant he could tuck his headphones in, rest his head against the window of the bus and pretend the way his head bounced back from the potholes wasn’t killing the last remaining brain cells he had.

What difference would a few brain cells be in the grand scheme of things? He couldn’t care less, always more focused on whatever was on his phone. The brightness was dimmed to an appropriate setting to not burn his dry eyes, strands of hair covering his face as he looked down at his lap, fingers scrolling robotically through his instagram feed and then switching over to his twitter.

It must have been a sign from god that made instagram crash that morning, causing an influx of annoying ‘is instagram down for anyone else or just me’ tweets that made him roll his eyes and choose to lock his phone and lift his head up from its permanent downcast position. He was getting a mean case of tech neck anyways, rolling his head and shoulders to release the awkward tension lingering in his muscles.

That’s when he noticed the eyes staring right at him. Had he looked up more often he would have known that those exact eyes had been watching him intently for weeks now, sitting and hoping he would eventually look up. He’s half expecting you to look away, embarrassed by being caught blatantly staring at him but instead, you tilted your head slightly and gave him a sly smirk, almost as if you’re taunting him to look away. And that’s exactly what he does, his eyes darting away and apparently his whole head wanted to follow, ramming against the window with a nice whack.

Great. Good going man.

He could feel his face burning with embarrassment, refusing to look up because he could just picture you laughing at him. Hell, maybe you were recording him with the purpose to post once instagram decided to get it’s shit together. With that in mind, it didn’t take much debating before he decided that repetitive tweets were more entertaining than making eye contact with you again, unlocking his phone and beginning the endless scrolling once more.

The long ride allowed him to eventually push his embarrassment aside, eyes lazily skimming the words on his screen, not digesting anything he’s reading. It’s not until the bus jolted forward at his stop that he took a chance and looked over at you quickly, noticing you were already up by the front, waltzing out of the doors before he could even get himself up from his seat.

A double take out the window confirmed that he was in fact at the university bus stop, hastily shoving his phone into his pocket and hurrying off the bus before the driver could get annoyed at his slow pace.

Your silhouette was slowly disappearing through the crowd of other students and he had to snap out of his small daze once he lost you entirely, shrugging his shoulders at the odd encounter before making his way towards his first class of the morning.

His university is pretty large, the amount of students here bordering on absurd and it’s the main reason he chose to take the bus to school instead of driving because the parking lot is literally hell on earth. With all that said, he still couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t seen you before this morning. Had you always taken that bus with him? Also, how long had you been staring at him? Maybe it was just today, but fuck, did that mean he had something weird on his face...or maybe his hair looked jacked up in order for you to just stare.

“You good?” The sound of Jungkook brought him out of the whirlwind of thoughts in his mind, coming to a screeching halt and settling back into the dust as he came back to reality. Once his eyes finally focused back in, he realized he’s been staring at some random girl a few seats down with a zombie like expression. No wonder she was now giving him a bizarre look.

“Fuck.” Too embarrassed to even attempt to apologize to his classmate, he averted his eyes and looked to his left where Jungkook sat, a concerned expression on his face as he took a giant bite out of his oversized breakfast burrito. “I’m good.”

Jungkook gave him a once over, narrowing his eyes as he chewed his food, a bit of egg lingering by his lip. “Bullshit.”

The look of disgust on Taehyung’s face was very evident, so Jungkook could only smile before taking yet another massive bite out of his burrito, making an absolute show of chewing the meal.

“You’re fucking disgusting.”

“Thanks.” Jungkook laughed, blowing his friend a kiss before properly chewing and taking a gulp of his water. “You sure you’re good Tae? You were staring into the fucking abyss or something earlier.”

From first glance he definitely looked like he was really thinking about some deep rooted issues. His body had been slightly hunched over his desk, eyes zoned out on that poor girl but his mind was elsewhere. An array of emotions had played out on his face, features contorted into different forms of distress as he had a mental conversation with himself. So when Jungkook walked in and saw him in that state he just had to make sure he was alright.

“I’m fine, just had a weird morning is all.”

The next morning started off the same as always. Taehyung only had two morning classes today so he stayed in his sweats and hoodie, stopping by the convenience store to grab something to eat before getting to his bus stop.

It was routine: his feet dragging along the sidewalk and coming to a halt beside the bench, mind still heavy with sleep, until a flash of a memory pops in so quickly it made him wince.

That’s when he was reminded about you.

You had left his mind after his first class yesterday, the stress of assignments taking over the part of his brain that was curious–and a little embarrassed–about your interaction. All that occupied his day was finishing that essay for his biology class, facetiming Jimin who needed help deciding between shirts before his date, and now the kimbap he currently had in his hand.

But as he sat at the bench waiting for the bus, the only thing repeating in his mind was him smacking his face against the glass so hard his brain rattled, and unfortunately, his breakfast didn’t seem as appetizing anymore.

When the familiar hunk of metal pulled up in front of him he couldn’t help the small feeling of nerves bubbling up in his stomach. He felt a little stupid, how one situation was making him overthink little things when for all he knew you’ve been riding the same bus for months.

He shuffled down the aisle after swiping his bus card, head staring at the floor because he was a little scared to look up and see you on the bus already. Thankfully his usual seat was unoccupied—the last row at the back right next to the right window—so he made a beeline right towards it.

Crinkling from his pockets filled the quiet bus as he finally settled into his seat, setting his backpack onto the floor right between his legs. Moving slowly in order to not draw attention, his hand reached in and pulled out the kimbap from his pocket, peeling it open and taking a bite off the corner. His eyes took a peek up, cautiously drifting over the few passengers on the bus with him and noticing that you weren’t on the bus yet.

Okay, my stop is before hers.

Taehyung’s body instantly relaxed into his seat, a small sigh leaving his lips. The creeping feeling of embarrassment faded away now, allowing him to fish his phone out of his pocket as he enjoyed his breakfast, fingers tapping as he scrolled and liked the occasional picture on instagram.

Considering it was a Wednesday morning all social media was pretty dead, so once he got to the end of everything, he locked his phone and just stared at the scenery blending together.

Before he could fully zone out, something made his nerves light up. A small burning sensation coming from his left and he had an inkling of what it could be. Carefully, he lifted his head away from against the window and let his eyes travel over to where he just knew you were sitting.

Yup. There you were. A few seats closer than last time, sat in one of the single seats facing the aisles, staring right at him. His eyes trailed down from yours and couldn’t help but stare at the small bit of cleavage you had showing in your low cut shirt. A gold charm was resting between your boobs, cursive letters spelling out what he could only assume was a nickname.

He only realized he was blatantly staring at your tits when the sudden movement of your hand coming up brought him out of his stupid fuckboy trance.

To be honest, he was expecting you to move your hand to lift your shirt up or flip him off, he wasn’t expecting you to tug your shirt down a bit further and lean over, placing your chin on the hand that was resting on your crossed leg. His wide eyes drifted up to your lips, seeing the gloss shining off of them, showcasing the little smirk you had on.

You were taunting him, seeing if he would look away this time or not, and surprisingly he hadn’t. He wasn’t looking at your boobs now though, his eyes were zoned in on your lips and the occasional pink bubble you would blow with your gum.

Deciding to take it a small step further, you leaned back a tiny bit and let your fingertips graze the top of your chest while maintaining your gaze on him. That was when his eyes shot down to your chest once more, seeing the heart outline tattoo on your pinky before quickly looking around the bus at the other riders who weren’t paying you any attention.

When he finally got the courage to look directly at your eyes you just gave him a wink before leaning all the way back in your seat and deciding you were done with whatever the hell that was, leaving Taehyung sitting in his seat, slightly sexually frustrated and a little confused at how something so simple could rile him up.

When the bus jolted to a stop in front of the university you hopped up from your seat and headed off to your class with a hop in your step, satisfied with your little game. Taehyung could simply watch with a dumbfounded expression, immediately standing up from his seat and awkwardly holding his bag in front of him to try to hide his junk as discreetly as he could.

This was embarrassing. Why was every encounter he’d had with you this far ended in him feeling embarrassed and you feeling accomplished?

Little did he know that’s how the majority of your encounters would go. The bus ride to school was now the leading cause of his blue balls and the highlight of your rather boring morning. He had now started to see you around school more often, whether that was because he was now looking out for you or purely coincidental, he wasn’t sure but he was certain you were taunting him. Especially with the outfits you would wear. They weren’t vastly inappropriate, but it seemed like every pair of shorts got a little shorter and every skirt a little tighter.

Obviously he knew he probably wasn’t the only dude who was on your radar, so it was a little self centered to assume you were doing this just to him, but it was definitely affecting him to the extent of his friends asking him what the hell was on his mind.

“Honestly dude, what’s your deal?”

“Hm?” he questioned, one hand on the lid of his coffee cup while his eyes stared at the table they were currently sitting around in the nearby coffee shop. Taehyung had been zoned out the entire time his friends had been talking about the upcoming party at Seokjin’s fraternity later this week. His mind just kept repeating the scene that unfolded on the bus earlier that morning with you, a skirt that was too short, and the way you let him catch a glance of your underwear when you accidentally opened your legs too wide when you went to cross them over.

“Like, what porn are you watching that constantly has you in a daze?”

“Yeah, send us a link or something!”

Taehyung frowned at his friends' comments, although they weren’t really too far off. He might not be thinking about porn exactly, but his thoughts were far from pure regarding you.

Jungkook was cackling obnoxiously as the rest of his friends cracked jokes about Taehyung being a porn addict, and honestly it was a shocker they hadn’t been asked to leave from the sheer volume coming from the group. Add the vulgar topic of porn to the mix and it was only a matter of minutes before the cute barista who had a huge crush on Yoongi would come over and shyly ask them to keep it down.

“Shut up,” Tae grumbled out, hand abandoning his coffee cup and aggressively rubbing his eyes. It was almost like he was trying to scrub the thought of you out of his mind like a dirty stain on his clothes.

Namjoon was the one who suddenly gasped like a child finding change on the floor. “Fuck, it’s not porn is it?”

That caused a couple of confused grunts to come from around him, choruses of ‘well if not porn then what’ and ‘no way don’t you see the difference in buffness between his arms he’s totally addicted to some weird shit.’

Taehyung sat up a little straighter, a small look of curiosity on his face as he glanced at Namjoon. Yes, his friend was the genius of the group in every sense of the word but he couldn’t have possibly figured it ou— “Who’s the girl you’ve been literally fantasizing over for weeks?”

Fuck.

Whoops and hollers were the next sound of choice from his immature friends, Hoseok going as far as violently shaking his shoulder while everyone teased him and that’s when Eunha finally walked over very timidly.

“Hey Yoongi.”

Yoongi glanced up at the sound of his name, his smile growing a little softer when he noticed who it was coming from. Everyone knew she had a crush on him—including Yoongi himself—so they always tried to be as nice as possible to her. “Hey Eunha.”

She tucked a piece of her short hair behind her ear, her eyes drifting to everyone around the table before landing back on Yoongi. “Sorry, my boss is just saying you guys are being a little too loud and I don’t want him to kick you guys out so,” she pressed her palms together gently. “Could you guys just bring it down a tiny bit?”

“Shit, yeah. Sorry about that. We’ll keep it down, thanks babe.” A small blush tinted her cheeks at the pet name and she was only able to mumble out a meek okay before she scurried off with a giant smile on her face.

All of them watched her round the corner and slip into the employee only backroom, smiles on all of their faces until the door swung shut, and then they were back to all eyes on Taehyung.

“So, who is she?” They all inched in a little closer at Jimin’s question, acting like fucking vultures, desperate for any bit of gossip Tae was willing to spill. They couldn’t be blamed though, they had witnessed their usual charismatic friend go from flirting with random girls and throwing jokes here and there to basically sitting in class in a weird zombie-like trance. But those were only the days where he had morning classes, so they just needed to find the connection between it all.

“Just some girl I ride the bus with to school.”

There was a beat of silence before Yoongi spoke up. “Okay, so ask her out?”

Now how was he supposed to come out and say that you and him had never really spoken, and he didn’t even know your name and you didn’t know his, and the only interactions you’ve had were very sexual in nature, but you’ve also never physically touched each other? He was stuck, only able to chew on his lips in thought, but luckily his friends took that as a cue to encourage him.

“Yeah man, ask her out or something! Especially if she’s got you this strung up.”

He wanted to laugh, really he did, but he also realized that he really didn’t have anything to lose when it came to approaching you. If he approached you and it didn’t go in his favor then he could just move on with his life. Pretty simple right?

That was how he found himself bolting up the second you did the next morning on the bus, standing a few feet behind you as the bus pulled up to the stop. You had chosen to simply stare at him every now and then during this particular morning, extremely PG compared to the other rides, so he thankfully didn’t have the majority of his blood rushing to his dick today. Because of this, he was hopeful he could actually say some words to you that didn’t make him seem like an asshole.

You stepped off the bus quickly, your heeled booties clicking against the steps and landing on the concrete smoothly, whereas his vans thumped the whole way down with a lot less grace in his haste, but he was able to catch up to you nonetheless.

He didn’t want to shout out your name because well, he didn’t actually know your full name aside from the cute charmed necklace you constantly wore, and what better way to garner more creepy points than to make it clear he stared at your tits. So he chose to jog up to you and place a hand on your shoulder, making your body come to a halt, but it was almost like you were expecting it with the half smile that graced your face.

“Hey, what’s your deal?”

Nice first words Taehyung.

You raised a brow at his remark, arms coming to cross under your chest as you watched him with clear amusement on your features. “My deal?” Your voice had him pausing momentarily, he was half expecting it to sound high and sweet but there was a slight edge to it, the sound a little lower in tone than he had mentally imagined.

“Uh yeah.” He let go of your shoulder and chose to fidget with the black beanie on his head instead, his palms going clammy. “You’ve been staring at me for weeks on the bus.”

You were staring at him intently, watching how nervous he was to even speak to you, not an ounce of shame on your face at being called out. The fact that he was even talking to you had caught you off guard. You weren’t really expecting him to ever say anything at this point since most men would have pounced for a chance to get a word in after the first time they had caught you staring at them.

“Does that bug you?”

“No!” He instantly shouted out, hands outstretched almost as if he was scared of offending you. “I just wanted to know why you…stare?”

You nodded along, your lips turning up at the corners slyly, tongue gently running along the bottom of your teeth as you smiled. “You’re nice to stare at.” His eyes widened at that and you couldn’t help but think how cute he looked in that moment. Why did he seem like he was so out of his element?

“And,” you started as you pulled a slip of paper and a pen out of your small side bag, quickly jotting something down before folding it in half. “I’ve just been thinking about how cute you’d look between my thighs for the past couple of weeks, so message me whenever you want.” You reached down and picked up the hand that was resting by his side, your fingers opening his palm and sliding the paper into it before closing it and just walking away without a second glance.

How could you just waltz away as if you hadn’t made him combust internally, calling him cute while slipping in a filthy thought. You hadn’t even cared to get his name before you admitted to wanting to sleep with him, and if this were a frat party and Taehyung was absolutely wasted that’s exactly how he would approach a girl too, but being on the receiving end made him a little unsure of himself.

The tiny folded paper in his palm was spread apart and that’s when he finally learned your actual name, along with your number which was written beside it in black ink and finished off with a heart.

He never got the courage to text you.

Well, not until he saw you on the bus the following morning with a damn lollipop in between your lips. The way you slowly trailed it up towards your lips was just asking for dirty thought to cross his mind.

That was exactly your reason for doing it though, this was like a game for you, he just didn’t realize it and that’s what enticed you to continue it, torturing him slightly since he had failed to reach out to you.

You let the green lollipop rest on your tongue momentarily before gliding it down and letting the tip of your tongue circle around it, seeing his eyes widen slightly at the provocative action.

Taehyung looked around at the lingering passengers to see if anyone was watching whatever this was going down but there was no audience, there never seemed to be one. The only passengers were gathered towards the front, all engrossed in their books or phones so they don’t see the way you swirl your tongue around the candy.

You clearly had the art of seduction down by how quickly he could feel his pants tightening but he couldn’t help it. His eyes were glued on your mouth, the way you were enjoying that stupid sucker was way too sexual and it didn’t help that your eyes were piercing into him. You knew exactly what you were doing to him. With how fixated his eyes were you could tell what thoughts were floating in his mind, especially by the way he shifted in his seat.

Taehyung was currently hating his life with all he had in him for wearing sweats, gray sweats to top it off. Those are surely going to show the nice outline of his half hard dick when he gets up.

He really should look away from you but every time he tried, flashes of you between his legs would entice him to keep staring. There has never been a moment where he felt more like a pervert than right now and he almost felt ashamed to be watching you. Almost.

This was just fun for you, you weren’t dwelling on this as much as Taehyung was. You only ever thought of him when you woke up for class and wondered how you were going to subtly torture him on the commute to school. You wanted to see how far you could take it before he reacted differently, whether that be him approaching you in person once more or finally shooting you a text.

Would he ever make a move on you? It was hard to tell considering he never reached out and what man would turn down an invite for casual sex if he was semi interested. Would he ever tell you to stop? You obviously would, but the way he denied being bothered by you giving him attention just led you to believe he was very much into it.

The subtle shift in his seat also showed you how much he was into the little show you had for him. He had pulled his phone out, tapping on a new message with your name being typed in.

Why are you doing this– he quickly deleted that, the little line flashing as it waited for the next words to be typed out.

Do you enjoy giving me random boners this early– nope delete that too.

The feeling of the bus coming to a stop made him lift his gaze from his phone and back to you, a small wink was shot in his direction before you were standing up and walking your way towards the front of the bus, your lollipop making your cheek bulge out as you let it rest on the side of your mouth. Taehyung just watched you standing there, one hand gripping the metal railing above you as the bus approached the stop. You gave one last glance over your shoulder to see if he had moved before you stepped off the bus, taking the sucker out of your mouth and giving him a wicked smirk before popping it back in and sauntering off to your first class of the day.

Taehyung once again had a boner pressing against the fabric of his pants and he couldn’t help the groan that left him because dammit, this was happening too often. He was tired of having to daydream about nasty shit to get it to go away while you just pranced off satisfied with how you left him.

He hesitated in his seat for a moment, debating whether he should hop off and head back home so he could calmly deal with the current situation in his pants or if he could suck it up and actually focus enough during his first class.

The bus driver looked at his rear mirror and gave him an irritated look, and with that his decision was made for him. Well a compromise actually, he wouldn’t be able to focus in class when all he was thinking about was your lips around his cock and the fact that you admitted to wanting to fuck him, but he also couldn’t leave school entirely because he had a test his next class and the bus ride back to his house and back to school was too troublesome to bother with.

So he was currently headed to the boys restroom in the building his first class was in, a little more pep in his step because he was finally going to fix one of the problems you caused. Did he feel a little shame in him? Yes. He did. But he was currently blocking that out entirely. All he was thinking about was how great the feeling of his hand around his dick was going to be, and that alone was enough to get him to walk just a little bit faster.

He entered the building and climbed up the stairs two at a time, clearly in a hurry but who could blame him. Luckily most classes were currently in session and if someone didn’t have a class they were usually lounging outside or getting coffee nearby so he knew the bathroom would be free of people, proven right when he swung the door open and saw no one inside.

Taehyung walked to the stall the furthest away from the door and deemed it worthy enough before stepping in and locking it behind him. He took a deep breath as he stared at the wall in front of him, having somewhat of a mental debate. Had he really gotten to this point where he had to resort to jacking off in a bathroom stall?

He let one of his palms rub down his face for a moment, but only a moment because he had a problem to fix and right now his throbbing dick was way more important than his morals. So he shrugged off his backpack and hung it behind him on the hook and slid his sweats down along with his boxers, the material bunching together around his thighs.

Taehyung shut his eyes, not being able to stare at the porcelain toilet in front of him as he wrapped his hand around his cock, the feeling making a shudder run up his back. A gentle tug started his motions, his shoulders dropping from finally feeling some sort of relief after the show you had put on for him. The way your pink lips were wet from sucking on your candy made it easy to picture you between his legs, your lips coated in saliva from giving him what he’s sure would be the best blowjob of his life, chin messy as you stuck your tongue out for him.

He could almost feel his hands in between your hair, tugging on your strands as you picked up the pace, so he mimicked it himself, stopping momentarily to spit into his palm to make the glide a little smoother.

Fuck, he really should have texted you, maybe then he wouldn’t be doing something as filthy as this. Maybe—no he definitely would know what this would feel like in real life, but his hand would just have to do.

A groan left his mouth as he tugged on his cock faster now, eyes squeezing shut as he pictured you sucking on the tip of it, your eyes looking up at him in the same piercing way they always did. He’d like to think that you’d deepthroat him, or tease him, maybe even edge him because you definitely liked to torture him. His mind was flipping through a million and one scenarios as his pace sped up, now hunched over the toilet, the hand that wasn’t pushing him over the edge of an orgasm pressed against the wall in front of him.

His hips started thrusting into his hand, joining in on the motion, a whine felt at the back of his throat begging to come out because of how desperate he felt for his release. The pent up frustration he had for himself, and how badly he wanted to fuck you, paired up with his thumb focusing on his tip every time he stroked up brought him to his orgasm. A choked groan left his mouth as his hips stuttered, his hand continuing to stroke himself rather quickly as ribbons of white shot into the toilet. His groans turned into soft whines as he kept up the pace, the tingles he felt on his dick from the oversensitivity felt too good for him to stop, he was way too desperate for this and it was disappointing that it was over. It wasn’t until his hips and stomach continued to twitch that he finally pulled his hand away from his softening dick.

Taehyung leaned his back against the door, feeling the material of his backpack against him as he slumped down. His forehead was sweaty and his chest was heaving from his orgasm but he was content with himself now, mind no longer whirling with thoughts of you and that damn lollipop. He grabbed toilet paper and cleaned himself up before wiping down the toilet seat as clean as he could and flushing the evidence down the toilet.

He secured the strings to his sweatpants once again and stepped out of the stall, standing a little taller, glancing from side to side and letting out a breath of relief that no one was occupying the urinals or stalls. After washing his hands he stepped back out into the halls of his university and headed down the stairs to go sit in the quad to wait for his next class.

You were going to be the death of him. How was it that you had this much power over him and were so unaffected by it? He needed to do something about this, so he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Taehyung ignored the notifications on his screen from his friends and opened up a new message, typing in your name before staring at the blank thread waiting to be filled.

Taehyung 9:40am : I hope you’re happy with the problem you gave me.

Was that the best message to send? Probably not, but he wasn’t letting himself think about it too much before the spark of courage left him so he tapped send and immediately backed out of the message, choosing to pretend to occupy his mind by reading the texts he got from Jungkook. The typical ‘are you dead’ texts he would send him if he ever missed class, along with a random text from Namjoon asking if he’d made a move on the mystery girl yet.

Taehyung jumped so hard his phone almost fell out of his grasp when it buzzed with a new text from you. His fingers couldn’t move fast enough to open the notification but his smile dropped instantly when he saw your response.

Y/N 9:51am : Who is this?

How should he respond to this? Were you joking?

His lips were pursed as he stared at his screen, waiting to see the three little dots indicating that you were still typing, maybe saying it was a joke but they never popped up so Taehyung decided to be rational and realize that he literally never gave you his name.

Taehyung 9:53am : It’s Taehyung.

Stupid. You wouldn’t know who that was so he went back and started typing another response only stopping when another one of your messages popped up.

Y/N 9:54am :???

Taehyung 9:55am : Boy on bus

He left the messages open, staring at the screen and grinning to himself when he saw the notification pop up under his text, letting him know you had read the message. But when you never replied as the minutes went on, he started to feel a little dejected, so he locked his phone and shoved it deep into his pocket as he tried to go about the rest of his day.

Taehyung liked to think he was a very easy going guy, someone who doesn’t let little things get to him, but that was just him lying to himself. He was relatively chill about 70 percent of the time, but that remaining 30 percent? Oh boy, that was the over thinking, over analyzing, Taehyung.

“Are you okay?” Solji, the girl who sat next to him in his environmental science class asked him. They hardly ever spoke unless they were exchanging notes for upcoming quizzes, but with the way his face currently looked she just had to make sure he wasn’t going through something serious. She tried once more but when he didn’t answer she just shrugged and decided it wasn’t her business.

He had his brows furrowed so deeply there was a small little indent in between them, his eyes focused on the corner of his desk while his mind was trying to think of every reason you hadn’t responded. You could have lost your phone, or better yet maybe somebody had snatched it from you the very second you had read his message. Or maybe, your phone—or his—glitched and you never got the message at all.

Little did he know you were currently sitting in your economics class, tucked away in the back corner with your phone in your hand as the professor lectured with the projector screen on in the dark room. You were purposely ignoring Taehyung’s message, turning your read receipts on just to torture him further.

He had finally messaged you and unfortunately it was not with a invitation to fuck. It did however paint a smile on your face because you knew he was very affected by you from the message he sent.

All you wanted was for him to be more forward. You knew he had jacked off at school, he had to, so why couldn’t he just go ahead and say that. Spice shit up a little and talk about what he was thinking about when he did it. It’s the little things really.

You clicked back onto his thread in your messages, choosing now to respond to him. Your fingernails lightly clicked on your screen as you typed out a response and snickered before hitting send.

Y/N 11:37am : Oh? okay.

Taehyung felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and his heart stopped, eyes widening to the point where poor Solji was once again concerned about his well being. She was gonna ask him one more time if he was okay but his sudden movement had her flinching back and avoiding eye contact as he shoved his hands into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

Oh fuck she responded. He thought to himself as he unlocked his phone to see the notification, he opened the thread and read the message, scrolling up and back down almost as if he was trying to refresh the page for more of the message to load because there was no way in fucking hell that’s all you sent him.

But it was. That much was made very clear after a few minutes passed and you didn’t send anything else.

It was almost like Taehyung’s mind was on autopilot. He had finished his test minutes prior, so he shoved his pencil and extra scantron into his backpack before he stood up and practically stomped his way out of the classroom.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t handle the mystery that was you. It would be very easy for him to just text back and get to know you but this was the 30 percent, over thinking, over analyzing, not chill Taehyung, and that was just not the way he did things.

Not chill Taehyung decided it was appropriate to bail out on his current class as well as bail out on the plans his friends had all made after classes. He decided it was perfectly fine to hop his merry self onto the bus and head on home. The plan was not very thought out, at all, but as he rode the bus home he just knew he would have to do some lurking to find something about you.

While he was doing that driving his mind into the gutter, you were leaving your current class, heading out to meet your friends for a late lunch.

You had your phone held in your hand, almost hoping Taehyung would text back with something a little exciting, but he didn’t. That was fine by you though, he was right in assuming he wasn’t the only guy on your radar and although something about him made you want to pounce on him, if he wasn’t going to act on it then you weren’t going to dwell on it.

“Alright girls so what’s the plan for tomorrow night?” Hani spoke up, rubbing her hands together evilly.

“Be a child of god and go to sleep on time because I have a test the following day.” A chorus of boos followed all around, Sunmi even going as far as tossing a crumpled up napkin at Chungha who only rolled her eyes.

“C’mon Chungha. Just come out for a little bit,” you pleaded, grabbing her hands in yours and giving her the saddest puppy eyes you could muster.

“Ahh, no! You always do this Y/N!” she whined, throwing her head back in frustration. “But fine, only for two hours and I can’t get wasted.”

The three of you cheered obnoxiously, knowing very well that she would end up as trashed as all of you were, but that was a problem for tomorrow night. A problem for tonight however just occurred in the form of a notification on your phone.

You stared at it curiously, it was a notification from your blog that you used on occasion so you opened it up and smirked at what you discovered.

Not chill Taehyung had obviously gone home and did his lurking on you. Nowadays it really wasn’t hard to find anything on anyone considering how open people were on their socials so Taehyung was able to find your instagram with ease, especially now that he had your phone number.

He had scrolled through your feed carefully, seeing group photos with your girlfriends at parties, and an abundance of slightly suggestive selfies. There was one thing that was clear, you definitely had confidence in your body and he admired that.

Instagram only showed him a glimpse of your life and it wasn’t enough for him. Considering Taehyung had an account for every social media made, he knew you probably did too. So he took to a generic search, and even a reverse image search because he was so desperate it was pathetic. But it worked, because one certain photo you had uploaded on your instagram of you in a bikini with your face cut off was also uploaded onto a blog online.

At first glance he assumed it was just a generic porn blog that had reposted your photo, but upon further scrolling he noticed all the photos on there were of the same girl. You.

His first instinct was to exit out of the site and act like he never found it, feeling slightly creepy at what his lurking had uncovered. But the curiosity was eating him alive, so he continued to scroll, seeing simple photos of you in lingerie; never revealing your face or anything else besides your ass and boobs. Along with that were some questions you would answer and with that he gathered that you had quite a bit of fans online.

There was one photo in particular that really caught his attention. The image was a little low quality, showing you with a black heart choker on and a stringy caged bralette that let your boobs pop out, your fingers slicked with something he could only imagine as they pinched your pebbled nipples. The heart outline tattoo on your pinky is what confirmed that it was in fact you in that photo, and that was enough for him to click the heart button on the bottom right to save into his likes for later.

What he didn’t know was that you checked your activity quite often. He also didn’t know that his blog, unlike yours, was not anonymous and had a stupid selfie of him as the icon.

So as he sat in his room and jerked off while thinking about you for the second time that day, you sat in the restaurant and giggled to yourself a little every time he liked a new photo, letting you know exactly what he was up to.

“Are you on that money pile blog of yours again?” Sunmi asked as she chewed on a chunk of butter soaked bread.

“Yes,” you responded simply, taking a sip of your drink and smiling when your friends cheered you on.

“How much have you made with it?” Hani asked curiously, pulling her shirt's neckline out to inspect her boobs.

You thought about it for a moment; you started that blog to help you pay for school and have some left over for yourself and with luck on your side, it took off pretty quickly. While you did post provocative pictures online, they were all pretty timid in nature, so it was only a matter of time before you started getting messages of people interested in purchasing personal pictures or videos.

There were quite a few older men willing to send you hundreds of dollars for simple photos or videos, but the majority of your buyers were people around your age who chose to purchase access to your private account for a monthly fee. It was always funny to you how some of these people went to your school and either had no idea it was you, or chose to pretend they didn’t know you.

“Enough to pay off my tuition this semester and put some away.”

Chungha nodded to herself, thinking it was impressive. “Get your coin girl.”

The following morning Taehyung hopped onto the bus with a feeling of guilt settling into the pit of his stomach, a nasty churning sensation that had plagued him in his sleep. It made him forgo his usual kimbap breakfast, afraid he’d hurl it up the second he made eye contact with you on this ride and the last thing he needed was another embarrassing moment to add to the list.

He shouldn’t have touched himself to those photos that you hadn’t sent to him exclusively, and he definitely shouldn’t have saved them in his likes. Sure they were on a public domain, but still, it made him feel wrong.

He slid into his seat of choice and shoved his earbuds in, drowning out the small hum that filled the vehicle. Taehyung was so focused on trying to fry out the memory of your boobs from his mind by blasting music that he hadn’t noticed the bus stop and the sound of chunky platforms making their way up the aisle.

You sat down a few rows closer than normal, analyzing him for a moment; his dark hair was covering his eyes partially, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his grey windbreaker, and his jean clad legs bouncing rapidly made it so clear he was nervous.

Perfect.

A smile graced your lips as you slipped your phone out, opening up the thread you had with Taehyung, with your very uninterested message being the last thing you had sent him. It’s almost as if the tiny devil on his shoulder called his attention, convincing him to peer over, almost jumping in his seat when he realized you were on the bus and a lot closer than before.

When he saw your attention on your phone instead of him for once, he couldn’t help but think that maybe you had lost interest in this little game. Maybe he had taken it a bit too far and knowing he had jacked off at school to the thought of you had turned you off.

That is until his phone buzzed in his pocket. Sharp eyes darting up and locking onto his right after, a knowing smirk on your face as you raised your hand and waved your fingers at him.

Y/N 8:09am : Hi bus boy.

Oh god.

Why was he so fucking nervous to talk to you god dammit. His eyes drifted back over to you, seeing you still staring at him, your head tilted in curiosity at why he still hadn’t responded.

With slightly trembling hands he begins to type out a response.

Taehyung 8:11am : Hey bu—

His fingers stop when a new message slides up on the screen.

Y/N 8:11am : Thanks for liking my pictures on my blog.

Y/N 8:11am : Saving them for later?

His stomach drops, mind playing a nice little montage of him scrolling through your blog and pressing that damn heart button as fast as he could. How could he be so stupid in thinking he was being discreet?

Taehyung 8:13am : Fuck im so sorry

He couldn’t look back up, his eyes focused on the three dots indicating your typing. It seemed endless. Were you gonna send him a giant paragraph calling him a pig or some other insult, tell him you had blocked his IP address and would be filing a restraining order on him?

Y/N 8:16am : No, it’s my pleasure.

He stared at the text in mild shock, the kissy face emoji at the end taunting him. Were you fucking with him? It honestly seemed like it considering you had hopped up off your seat and walked off the bus, your hips swaying in the small skirt you wore which only taunted him some more.

Taehyung let out a groan as he rubbed his palms into his face in frustration. What the hell was his deal? He felt like a prepubescent boy who had never spoken to a girl let alone slept with one. Maybe he was losing his edge. Regardless, he was done suffering through this alone so he was going to suck up his pride and seek out the help of his friends.

That was how he found himself once again sitting around the table in the small cafe they all frequented. The six of his friends gave him intent stares at he finished off his story, “And my dumbass didn’t think to maybe not like the pictures for later and she sent me this text the next morning.” He paused to slide his phone into the middle of the table with the message thread lighting up the screen, “And now I don’t know what the hell to do.”

Yoongi pressed his lips together as he shook his head, fingers adjusting the olive green beanie that he had on. “You’re a dumbass.”

Taehyung gave him a shocked expression, the wrinkles in his forehead only deepening when he saw the rest of the guys nodding along in agreement. “What the fuck?”

“What?” Yoongi spoke in a monotone, his eyes playfully narrowing at his friend, taunting him to try to defend himself.

“How am I a dumbass?”

Jungkook rubbed his hands together momentarily, looking around at the others to see if they were gonna speak up or if he was gonna have to be the one to do it. “Look dude,” he started off when he realized no one was gonna put Tae out of his misery. “You have this girl throwing herself at you, straight up telling you she wants to fuck you, and instead of acting on it you chose to jack off to the thought of her?”

Now that someone had said it outloud Taehyung did feel a bit stupid.

This was so out of character for him, he was the kind of guy who hit on girls at frat parties and didn’t bother getting more information besides their name before he was taking them upstairs, and now that you were giving him that treatment, he didn’t know what to do.

“Not only are you stupid for not sleeping with her, but who the hell lurks and gets caught? What a rookie mistake!” Hoseok hollers out, causing Jimin and Namjoon to laugh along with him, and Taehyung could only feel his face redden in embarrassment.

Jin had Tae’s phone in his hand, scrolling through the extremely underwhelming messages you two had sent each other when suddenly, it dinged and a new image popped up at the bottom. “Oh wow!”

That caught everyone's attention, all of them leaning over to try to get a glimpse at whatever Jin had seen but he had already locked the phone, the screen turning black and blocking the guys from seeing the teasing picture you had sent Taehyung out of boredom.

“Aw c’mon, what was it?” Jimin whined, staring at the still locked phone that was now in Taehyung’s hands, hands itching to grab the device.

Taehyung sighed. Did he even want to know?

One glance from Jin told him he sure as hell should, so he dimmed the brightness of his phone before he unlocked it to open up your message. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes made out the image, almost causing him to choke on his spit and make a bigger fool out of himself in front of his friends.

There, sitting all nice and pretty in your thread of messages, was a photo of your thighs spread open, your fingers lifting up the tiny skirt you had on today to reveal a small sliver of the black lace panties you had on. Very suggestive, clearly intent to tease him.

‘Just for you’, was the only message you had written underneath, no indication that you would send anything else. Taehyung could only stare at the photo in awe, eyes trailing down the smooth skin of your thighs, desperately wanting to zoom in, but he knew his friends would only clown him further. It was pretty timid in nature but still just as sexy.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned out, locking his phone and letting his head fall onto the wooden table like deadweight. No one had any reaction to the rattle of the table, simply stabilizing their drinks as they observed their friend having what appears to be a mental breakdown.

“What did she send him?” Yoongi whispered to Jin.

“Something mildly NSFW.”

At that, Yoongi reached over and jostled his whole body with force. “Get the fuck up you imbecile. Respond to her!”

“What am I supposed to say?” Tae slurred, cheek smushed against the table and muffling his words.

“Fucking anything is better than the silent treatment dude. Like she just took time out of her day to send you something. You gotta at least tell her she looks hot, or that you like the picture.” Jungkook rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious response, and honestly it was, this was sexting 101.

“You’re right, I guess.” Taehyung lifted himself back up and unlocked his phone once more, staring at the screen with a distraught expression. “The fuck do I say though?”

Hoseok hummed in thought, tapping his chin as he stared at the lid of his cup. “Depends, what kinda photo was it? Full nude or like a tease?”

“A tease.”

“Oh! Tell her something like, she’s gonna be the death of you, or something along those lines. I’m sure she hears she’s hot all the time, so that's too basic.” Jimin speaks up proudly, his smile widening when Taehyung nods and begins typing out a response with slightly shaky fingers and hits send.

The little sound of the message being sent causes the whole group to let out a sigh of relief, slumping back into their seats and taking sips of their drinks.

“Who knew we’d have to resort to coaching Kim Taehyung on how to sext.” Namjoon snorts, earning a couple of laughs in return, and Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh too because honestly how ridiculous.

The conversation flows easily once Jungkook starts talking, everyone momentarily forgetting about Taehyung’s situation, which he was grateful for. The current topic at hand was the party that Jungkook and Hoseok were having in a few days at their new apartment, but his attention was taken away from that when he shockingly received another text from you.

Y/N 7:36pm :Now we can’t have you dying on me.

Y/N 7:36pm : In the mood for some drinks? A couple of friends and I are going out tonight.

Y/N 7:37pm : You should come.

He stared at his phone in thought. Fuck, he wanted to go so bad, but because he had spent all day yesterday jerking off to the thought of you he had procrastinated an assignment that was due tonight. Not chill Taehyung was going to be his downfall.

Taehyung 7:40pm : I wish I could, I have a deadline at 11

Taehyung 7:40pm : Next time?

On the other side of the screen, you were laying in bed in the same outfit you had on earlier, fingers playing with the hem of your skirt as you read his response, a small smile on your face.

In all honesty you weren’t even expecting him to respond to your photo anyways, so this caught you off guard.

Y/N 7:42pm : I’m holding you to that bus boy.

So as you went out with your friends, throwing back shots and dancing your life away to the song playing at the club you guys loved, Taehyung sat at home typing out a bullshit paper as his phone watched your instagram story from time to time.

By the time he was calling it a night after he turned in his assignment you were still posting videos of your friends dancing and pouring drinks into your mouth straight from the bottle. You clearly knew how to have a good time and he couldn’t help but feel a tiny twinge of regret at not going out when you had invited him to.

That same regret seeps into the following morning, rewatching your stories and imagining how much fun he would have had if he decided to forget his assignments and go out with you. It’s safe to say that he was honestly not expecting you to hop on at your usual stop, mainly because he knew from your posts that you didn’t call it a night until 4am and it was currently 7:20am. So, when he saw you step on the bus, he was slightly shocked.

The regular attire he was used to was missing, normally styled hair now up in a messy bun, a thick pair of shades on, and an oversized flannel barely hanging over your shoulder. It was very obvious that you had just rolled out of bed.

His reaction time was a little slow, but when he saw you continue down the aisle and getting closer to him, he tensed up and held his breath, not releasing it even as you took it upon yourself to sit down right next to him. The two of you being the only passengers at the back of the bus.

“Hi,” you spoke out, turning to look at him as he tried his best to just face forward. A sweet smile passed between you when he finally turned towards you and gave you a small hello in greeting.

That satisfies you, so you wiggle in your seat to get comfy, your hands pulling out a book from your bag and starting to read it to pass the time. Taehyung visibly relaxes at that, happy that your attention was on the book instead of him because he wasn’t sure if he could make it through a conversation this early without embarrassing himself.

You take note of his relaxed frame, his head resting against the window and one earbud in his ear playing some song you couldn’t quite make out. That was when you decided to make your move, your eyes still trained on your book as you let your right hand trail up onto his thigh, letting it rest there for a moment to gauge his reaction.

His thigh tenses instantly at the sensation. “You can tell me to stop and I will,” you whisper, your hand already retreating. You knew he was attracted to you but you weren’t gonna do something to him if he was uncomfortable.

Taehyung sits there for a moment, having an internal debate, because fuck does he want you to touch him, but he’s also on public transportation and he’s not sure what the fine is for public indecency. The inner debate is splayed on his features, but in the end the pros outweigh the cons, so he reaches out and grabs your hand, placing it higher up on his thigh.

“No, keep going.”

It was genuine curiosity to see how far you would actually go, and when you told him to put his backpack over his thighs he knew you were being serious. He listened to your instructions and waited with baited breath as he felt your fingertips trail around his crotch, ghost touches sending a small shiver down his spine.

His dick was already twitching in his pants and you had barely even touched him. Your fingers tugged on the string of his black track suits and slipped behind the waistband of them, trailing down his skin and feeling his stomach twitch at the contact. You settled with palming him over his boxers, hearing Taehyung let out a small grunt at the feeling, his dick slowly hardening under your touch.

He was very responsive to your touch, thighs tensing up as he tried to fight back the urge to buck his hips for more friction and it fueled your excitement.

Considering this was a risky move, you decided to stop torturing him with teasing touches and finally slid your hand past the material of his boxers, wasting no time in wrapping your hand around his thick cock.

Taehyung could feel the blood pumping in his ears as he dropped his head forward with a choked gasp, resting his forehead on the seat in front of him because he knew he wouldn’t be able to disguise his facial expressions if anyone were to look back.

Every jerk of your hand made his breath hitch. Your hands felt like magic, pulling up to twist around the swollen head and gathering his precum before coming back down. God, he wanted to rip his pants down so he wouldn’t feel so confined.

In the perfect display of nonchalance, you still had the book in your left hand, eyes cast down on the page as if your right hand wasn’t focused on his sensitive tip with determination to make him break down. On occasion, you would glance over and smile to yourself at his facial expression, seeing how his eyes were screwed shut as his forehead rested on the seat, alternating between chewing on his bottom lip or just licking his lips and leaving his mouth open as he tried to suppress the moans he wanted to let out.

“Fuck.” The first crack to his exterior had him finally mumbling out as you picked up the pace, his eyes opening up and looking over at you for a moment, needing to solidify that he wasn’t imagining this. There would be nothing worse than coming face to face with his bed sheets as he awoke from a dream instead of you actually getting him off.

But there you were, looking so at peace, staring at him with an innocent smile like you weren’t about to make him cum in his pants embarrassingly quick. “You close?”

He let out a small whine as he nodded, finally losing the final bit of self control and bucking his hips to meet your hand, hearing the small thump of your palm against his skin. “Cum for me. I wanna feel you make a mess.”

With eyes sparkling with mischief, you tightened your grip on him as you sped up, your bottom lip being chewed on by your teeth while you watched him come undone. His eyebrows were furrowed, a small frown on his face as he opened his mouth in a silent moan, something you desperately wished you could hear. Harsh pants of breath fanned across the back of the seat as he groaned, fingers gripping the material of his backpack to stop himself from digging his nails into his palm as he neared his release. With a few more pumps, his whole body tensed up as he finally came, stomach twitching while you milked his orgasm.

Taehyung vision blanks for a moment while aftershocks filled his body, dots of light flickering across his eyes until it all came back, and as he realized you were staring at him in awe he could have sworn he was gonna cum again. Your hand was still slowly pumping him, feeling his dick twitch at the overstimulation but he couldn’t get himself to tell you to stop, enjoying the small ache of sensitivity too much.

It wasn’t until he started to softly grunt at the pleasure that turned painful that you pulled your hand out of his pants, content smile spread across your lips. Taehyung sat there limp, his body feeling like absolute jello, thighs still shaking from his climax. He can already imagine how unsteady his legs will be once it's time to get off the bus.

You stared at your hand, eyeing the small milky beads of cum on your fingers and you didn’t think twice before popping them in your mouth and sucking on them as you stared right at him. “That was fun. Thanks bus boy.”

He watched in a daze as you stuffed the book back into your bag and got up from your seat, giving him a wide smile while you walked up to the front of the bus. It was only then that he realized both of you had arrived at your college, the boring commute speeding by thanks to your antics. With a spared glance at the displeased bus driver, Taehyung shot up from his seat, cringing at his still sensitive dick and the uncomfortable sticky feeling in his pants.

You were absolutely going to be the death of him

Taehyung was weak, bottom-of-the-food-chain, top tier simp material for you. All it took was one handjob for him to be stuck on you, constantly waiting for any form of interaction you would give him. It was pure infatuation—and a little pathetic—but he wasn’t sure how he felt about you. It was like his brain was torn between trying to get to know you in a more personal way, or just going with the flow and fucking you like you had originally offered. It just made him feel more confused, and a little naive, because it was so clear that you had no romantic feelings for him.

This experience had filled Taehyung with a small sense of guilt, he now knew how the girls he treated this way felt. The constant stringing along and nonchalant carefree aura he would have when he would hook up with girls who clearly wanted more, it was fucking frustrating being on the receiving end and even more frustrating because he knew if he really wanted it to stop all he had to do was ask.

But Taehyung couldn’t get himself to ask you to stop. You had a grasp on him, and you did it so easily, which is why when he didn’t see you on the bus the following day he felt his heart drop a little.

Sure, he hadn’t noticed you prior but considering it had been a few weeks of constant contact in one form or another, he just found it a little odd now. His hand was twitching with the urge to send you a text and ask if you were feeling okay but he stopped himself in fear of sounding like a clingy mess.

“Any progress on the mystery babe?” Jungkook asked as they waited in line at the fast food joint near school.

Taehyung smirked a little at that, memories of yesterday's random handjob coming back to mind. “Sort of.”

Jungkook scoffed, “Sort of? Dude c’mon, just shoot her a text and tell her you wanna hang out, or be blunt and ask her to fuck.”

In retrospect that would be the typical route Taehyung would take, but there was something about you being so in control of this dynamic that had him so unsure of himself. “Look man, she’s different.”

“Oh no—“ And immediately Taehyung knew how that had come out. “Do not say you like her. You barely know her.”

He raised his hands in front of him, “No! Not like that Kook! I just mean that I don’t know how to act.” He let out a sigh, feeling annoyed with himself with this entire situation. “I hope I don’t sound like a total douchebag saying this, but I’m used to girls who let me take charge in situations you know?”

Jungkook nodded, staring at his friend as he spoke, “Girls that basically follow me around and let me decide if I wanna keep them around—and I hate how I sound speaking like that—but it’s the only way I can explain it.” He let out another defeated sigh, definitely something that had become a common form of expression for him. “She doesn’t do that shit, and I don’t know how to act like myself because of it.”

The younger man nodded again, knowing exactly what he meant. “I knew a girl like that, honestly the best two months of my life. Look dude, if she's making it clear that she doesn’t want anything serious then what's the dilemma? She’s confident in herself and you shouldn’t feel intimidated by that.”

Taehyung hummed at that, he was right as Jungkook continued, “And who knows, maybe she’ll help you realize that chains and whips excite you.”

And there was typical Jeon Jungkook. “I fucking hate you.”

Jungkook let out a cackle before turning his attention to the poor cashier who unfortunately had to hear the end of his statement. As he ordered for himself and Taehyung, the latter felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He was half expecting it to be a message from Hoseok asking him some dumb question, so when he saw your name on his screen he thought he was hallucinating.

Y/N 12:17pm : Hope you didn’t miss me too much today

Y/N 12:17pm : Come to this

Y/N 12:17pm : You promised me next time bus boy

Attached to the messages was a photo of a party flyer he was very familiar with. It was the silly flyer Jungkook had spent around 5 minutes making to promote their party tomorrow night, and the fact that you had come across it either meant it really got around or you had a mutual friend.

He looked up momentarily as Jungkook tapped him, motioning for him to follow to an empty table as they waited for the food. Taehyung blindly walked behind him, eyes downcast on his screen as he typed a response.

Taehyung 12:19pm : I’ll be there

Your response was instant and it caught him off guard because you usually lagged on messages.

Y/N 12:19pm : I’ll be waiting

But it seemed like Taehyung would be the one waiting. He was standing at the corner of the living room with a drink in his hand and his phone in the other, waiting for you to text him as his eyes scanned the current room.

Jungkook stood beside him, animatedly talking to a cute girl who had grabbed his interest, too busy to notice his friend eyeing the room like a hawk. Taehyung wanted to wander off and find someone for himself, but the idea that you would eventually be here kept him glued to one spot.

It was nearing midnight and people were already making messes of themselves, passed out on the couch and some even on the front lawn. Jungkook and Hoseok’s new place was more spacious than their last, but it was definitely overcrowding so people were coming in and out frequently from the front to the backyard to get some fresh air.

“I'm gonna go get another drink.” He told Jungkook, who waved him off and continued his conversation while Taehyung made his way to the kitchen.

He used the same cup he had in his hand and filled it up with vodka and cranberry juice, his favorite drink of choice right next to drinking it straight. Then suddenly, it was like a magnet forced him to look up and over his shoulder, and that's when he spotted you and your group of friends.

You all walked in with big smiles on your faces, one of your friends walking over to Hoseok and giving him a hug, and that's who he assumed the mutual friend was. Your hair was flipped over your shoulder as you played with it with your hands, small crop top showing just enough cleavage and your stomach, and Taehyung could just feel himself staring.

That's when your eyes met his, and they glinted with something he couldn’t pinpoint. Your target had been acquired, and as he saw you making your way over to him he choked a bit on his drink.

“Bus boy.” Was all you told him, a smile on your face as you easily slipped beside him against the counter, elbows resting casually on the cool surface as you leaned back.

“Hey...bus girl.” he awkwardly responded, feeling like an idiot immediately after. You only giggled, your fingers wrapping around his own on the cup as you brought it from its place against Tae’s mouth over to your own for a sip.

“Mm, vodka cranberry?” You licked your lips, and his eyes were glued on them. “How’d you know that's my drink of choice?”

“Lucky guess?” He slowly responded back, gently taking the cup back from your grasp when you handed it over, his eyes glancing at the sticky residue your gloss left on the rim of the cup.

You were analyzing him, watching him standing there with an aura of unsureness around him. You see, you knew of Taehyung, had a couple of friends who had hooked up with him, and this is not what they described him as. They always told you he was assertive, the first to make a move and once he had he was aggressive in bed in the best way. That’s why he had caught your attention, you wanted to see how hard it would be to crack him, break him down until he was begging and pleading since he was so used to taking charge. The possibility of having him on his knees, holding on to your every word, made this sick sense of pleasure creep up your spine.

Taehyung was handsome, that wasn’t up for debate, but you could see him biting his lips almost like he had a million things he wanted to say to you but was afraid they wouldn’t come out right. Cracking him might be easier than you thought.

“Did I miss all the fun?” The question hung in the air for a moment as flashes from the night played through his head. Jungkook kicking out some dude for trying to piss in the kitchen sink, Hoseok doing a line of who knows what off some girls boobs and her boyfriend trying to fight him, among a plethora of incidents in the span of a few hours.

“No, definitely not. The night is still young.”

You only stared at him, waiting for his eyes to finally look at yours instead of pretending like he didn't notice you. And finally, they did, narrowing a bit in suspicion as he wondered what you were thinking in your head.

“So,” you began, confidently grabbing his drink again. “Have you taken my offer into consideration?”

He was so focused seeing your tongue lick your lips to catch the remaining moisture of the drink that he almost didn't hear your question. “I’m sorry, what offer?”

A small laugh left your lips at his question. “You really forgot already?” You only gave him a moment of silence before you continued, “The offer that involves you fucking me, or are you turning it down?”

Taehyung froze, taking in your facial expression before answering. Your mouth held the same sinfully evil smirk it always had, head tilted slightly as you handed his drink back to him and shot him a wink before you sauntered off towards your friends who had watched the entire exchange go down.

They instantly tugged your wrist and yanked you towards the sliding doors that lead to the backyard where a game of beer pong was going down. Chungha was all giggles, not being able to believe the new person of interest in your eyes was Kim Taehyung.

Taehyung on the other hand just let his eyes follow your body until the sliding door was shut once more. He had taken too long to respond to your question, his mind had been shouting at him to just blurt out that yes, he had taken your offer into consideration and he one hundred percent wanted to fuck you. Too bad his mouth decided to sew itself shut.

He took another swig of his drink, swallowing harshly with a bit of determination set on his mind. By the end of the night he had to make a move on you, that much was for sure. He was tired of you always having the upper hand with every interaction you had. This party was his element for fucks sake, he was a seasoned pro when it came to sleeping with random girls at house parties. The only difference this time was that none of them had come on to him as boldly as you had, but that wasn’t a problem at all.

Jungkook slapped a palm on his shoulder, making his drink slosh in the cup and catching him by surprise. When Tae looked away from the sliding door and over to his left, he could see Jungkook was also looking in the same direction with a knowing smile on his face. “Oh man, she’s trouble.”

Tae’s eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “Wait, who?”

“Y/N, man. Who else?” He released his grip on the older one's shoulder, taking a sip of the beer in his other hand while he nodded his head in thought.

Taehyung was clearly out of the loop here, “How do you know her?” He mentally sorted through the girls he had seen Jungkook with in the past, even trying hard to remember any girls he had mentioned in passing and you had never come up.

Jungkook took another drink of his beer, wondering how to go about this carefully. He could be honest with Tae and tell him he had met you last semester at a club that was popular with the students at the university. How you had been the absolute best sex of his life for two steady months, and then suddenly dropped him without a care in the world—which would have absolutely crushed Jungkook if he let himself get attached but he hadn’t, he swore he hadn’t. He was kinda shocked and very amused that you had chosen his best friend as your new target, even if it was purely coincidental.

In the end, he decided being honest wasn’t necessary. “It’s not important, just know she’s pure trouble in the best way. Is she the bus girl you always talk about?”

That answer didn’t satisfy Tae but he was too busy thinking about how to make a move on you to dive deeper. “Yeah, she is.”

Jungkook nodded, hearing Jimin calling him from somewhere in the house with a very slurred voice. “Well, I hope you’re planning on making a move on her tonight or I’ll let all the guys know what a pussy you are.” He jostled Tae’s shoulders once more with a hearty laugh before running off towards Jimin who was surely drunk as fuck.

Outside of the house stood you and your friends, surrounding the beer pong game going on between Yoongi and Seulgi. Your eyes were peering behind you, staring through the glass doors as you watched Jungkook speaking to Taehyung for a brief moment. You smiled to yourself, knowing the small mess you might be causing between friends but not caring enough to stop it.

“This winning shot is for you gorgeous!” Yoongi shouted out, blowing a sloppy kiss out towards Sunmi before tossing the ping pong ball haphazardly towards the last remaining cup and somehow making it in.

“That winning shot made me lose!” Sunmi erupted in laughter while everyone cheered at the end of the game. Seulgi rolled her eyes with a playful smile before chugging the last cup and walking back to your group.

“I don’t know how that fucker beat me considering his blood alcohol content should have his ass in a coma.”

You laughed, throwing your arm over her shoulder and tugging her closer to you. “It’s because Sunmi told him that she’d give him her number if he got the winning cup. I guess desperation makes boys a little more sober.”

“Pigs.” She grumbled with a laugh, watching as Sunmi and Yoongi exchanged information, both of them looking like flustered children with blushing cheeks. “Anyways, are you gonna torture that poor boy inside all night?”

“Hm,” you hummed to yourself. “Is it really torture if I gave him a way in?”

“Oh please Y/N, has any boy ever taken to your advances that quickly? You’re intimidating as fuck, in the sexiest way possible. He’s probably not used to girls telling him shit like that so he doesn’t know what to do.”

“Yeah, but Yuna told me he was blunt as fuck with her when they slept together.” Your eyes peered back inside, no longer being able to see Taehyung.

“Yuna? Kang Yuna?” You nodded, looking up at Seulgi and seeing a look of disbelief on her face, “Dude, she’s the most timid, shy, submissive girl I’ve ever met. Guys eat that shit up. That’s what guys like Taehyung are used to. You spicing it up has him second guessing everything, so I say you keep it up. Be two steps ahead of him.”

You knew she was right, even though this was an exciting game of cat and mouse for you, you'd be lying if you said you weren’t slightly interested in him for more than just a one night stand.

“You gonna play?” Chunga popped in beside you, a grin on her face as she held a white ping pong ball in her hands. You smiled back and gave her a nod, letting her tug you towards the table being set up.

Yoongi stood wobbling on the other side, claiming to want to hold on to his winning title but the boy was clearly close to passing out from the amount of alcohol in his system. That was when another boy stood beside him, his frame towering over Yoongi’s and a charming smile on his plump lips as he tried to coax Yoongi into going inside to drink some water.

Chungha hummed in approval as she took his appearance in. “Wow he’s...”

“Yummy?”

She snorted out, “Oh yeah, definitely yummy.”

Yoongi was bickering with said yummy boy until Sunmi approached him again and put on her best flirtatious look to get him to follow her inside the house. He was done for after that, handing his friend the ball in his hand with a lazy wave, his half lidded eyes trailing down Sunmi’s body as she dragged him behind her. He probably thought he would be getting laid tonight but Sunmi was in mom mode, so unless he was ready to down a gallon of water and sober up, the only thing he would be doing is going straight to sleep.

“Hey, yummy guy, are you playing or not?”

He looked startled by the nickname, his hand coming up to point at his chest in confusion. When you and Chungha gave him a look that said yeah you his mouth opened up slightly before he was smiling again. “Yummy? Wow, can’t say I’m opposed to being called that.” He started to laugh at that and Chungha sighed at the sound, yup she was a sucker.

“I don’t have a partner to play against you two.”

You stepped back from the table with a shrug. “Don’t mind me, he’s all yours Chungha.”

They instantly started chatting with each other, playful threats and possible bets being made for whoever lost this game, but you weren’t planning on staying to watch this go down. The friends you had left on the sidelines watched you saunter away and they knew exactly where you were headed.

You wandered inside the crowded home and let your eyes scan the room, the kitchen was immediately to the left of you, a group of boys huddled around the alcohol as they made drinks, but no sign of Taehyung. Grabbing the lone vodka bottle from the counter, you took a quick swig before you resumed your hunt, ignoring the nasty burn to your throat.

A few more steps inside towards the living room didn’t reveal him either, too many bodies moving together to some random beat playing through the speakers placed around. There was a hallway to the left and another to the right, you chose to go towards the right side, side stepping random cups left on the floor.

A few voices were at the end of the hall, coming out of the only open door so you continued near them, desperate to see a familiar face until you came to a stop in front of the bathroom. You rested your shoulder against the door frame, seeing Jungkook leaning over his friend’s hunched form as he clung to the toilet bowl. Although this was a familiar face, he was not the one you were searching for.

As if sensing your presence, he looked up and over at you, a gentle smile gracing his face when he saw it was you. “You got the invite I see.”

You smiled back at him. “I did. So did the rest of my friends, you know, from Hoseok.” The drunken friend on the floor dry heaved for a moment, making Jungkook look back down at them and pat their back.

“He’s probably on the front lawn smoking by the way.” He spoke again, not needing you to explain who you were looking for, and you were grateful because you weren’t in the mood to play dumb.

You pushed off the door frame and stepped back, hearing him shout out a sarcastic ‘I know you miss me’ as you walked away. “Save it Jeon!” You playfully shouted back. You knew he missed you, he had told you plenty of times ever since you decided to stop sleeping with him.

Of course Jeon Jungkook had been a good fuck, having been one of your favorite switches. Very true to his reputation, he could fuck you all night long with no issues, bringing you to orgasm enough times until you were crying for him to stop, while also letting you tie him up until he was the one begging—but he’d gotten attached.

He could deny it all he wanted, but you sensed the change instantly. It creeped up in moments where he’d ask you to spend the night instead of leaving after hooking up, seeping into him asking you to hang out in day to day life instead of just 3am booty calls. And that just wasn’t something you were interested in having at the time. It wasn’t a jab at Jungkook, he was a nice guy if you were being honest, but that was old news.

So as the music blasted in the house, sounding muffled to your ears, you walked with a purpose, weaving in between people as you crossed the living room and reached the front door.

The fresh air met you the second you pushed the door open, loud bass spilling out of the house and into the front lawn, dimly lit up by the porch light. It allowed you to instantly spot Taehyung, a barely lit blunt between his fingers as he spoke to a taller boy beside him. At the sound of the door opening they both looked over in your direction, the taller one offering you a smile while Taehyung took a drag and gave you a nervous wave.

You weren’t going to bother talking to him out here, he turned into a deer caught in headlights whenever you did so you just walked over to him, plucked the blunt from between his fingers and handed it to his friend before wrapping your hand around his wrist and dragging him behind you. The two of you needed to be alone, not around drunk party goers, or both of your nosey friends.

Taehyung didn’t resist at all, looking over at Namjoon and seeing his friend had a shit eating grin on his face as he got dragged inside. You clearly had a mission, shoving your way through the sea of bodies again as you trekked to the opposite hallway this time, going for the only room on this side of the house.

The bedroom door got thrown open and thankfully no one was inside of it. Taehyung slammed the door shut behind him and locked it as you turned to face him, inches separating you and you let out a soft breath at the close proximity. “Do you want this?”

His mind fogged over briefly as he watched your fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, slowly inching it up to reveal more skin. “Yes, I do.”

Those were the words to set it all in motion, hands yanking your shift off your body and tossing it aside, leaving you standing in your bra for him to ogle at.

“Better than the photos huh?” you tease with a honey-sweet voice, reminding him of his deep dive onto your blog while your hands slid behind your back to unhook your bra and let it completely slide off.

Taehyung couldn’t help but stare as your hands came up to give your boobs a squeeze. “Fuck.”

He stepped forward, wanting to finally touch you but you tsk in disapproval, shaking your finger at him and it just made him pout. Isn’t that what you wanted from him?

His breath hitched in his throat when you stepped even closer, tips of your fingers trailing from his shoulders to his chest, down to the hem, bunching the fabric in your grasp as you tugged it up and off of him. His arms raised up with no protest as you undressed him, wide eyes just watching your every move, ready to do whatever you asked of him. It was so out of character for him, but that much could be said about every interaction he’s had with you so he goes with the flow of it all.

Goosebumps rose up on his tan skin as you trailed your hands down to play with the button on his jeans, fiddling with it to tease him. You wanted to cover his chest and stomach in hickeys, marking every inch of him up, bruising and teasing him until he was pleading for you to suck his cock. There was just something about him that made you want to see him flushed and desperate.

He could see you lost in thought as you stared at his body, now hyper aware of the fact that he wasn’t absolutely ripped, but you liked that. His arms came up again in an attempt to pull you in to kiss you, but you stopped him once more, finally snapping out of your daze.

“Do you deserve to touch me?” His mind blanked at your tone, the slight edge he had heard the first time you spoke was back, and something about it made his body tingle. “Hm?” you hummed when he remained quiet.

That glint in your eye returned and his head shook without him realizing, no he didn’t deserve to touch you.

“Take it all off and lay on the bed,” you spoke sternly, the smirk on your face growing when he did as you said. His body hunched over and stumbled as he stripped out of his pants and boxers, his shoes and socks long gone beside them. Taehyung followed instructions and laid on the bed, feeling a little guilty that poor Hoseok’s bed would be defiled like this, but when you slid off your own pants and underwear he couldn’t find himself to care anymore.

His cock was already hard and twitching as it laid against his stomach, and he could feel the small pool of precum gathering under his belly button, leaving a sticky mess on his skin. You hadn’t even touched him and he was this riled up already, terrified he would cum the second you decided to touch him, so his hand came to grasp the base of his cock and gave it a firm squeeze.

That action wasn’t lost on you as you slowly approached him, your knees resting on the mattress while you shuffled towards his body. Your fingertips trailed up his thighs softly, going around his cock and up his chest where your nails lightly grazed his nipple. His body shuddered at the touch, and the way your teeth sunk into your bottom lip at the reaction made him nervous.

You swung your leg over his waist, hovering above his skin but not making contact just yet. Taehyung had never been patient, his eagerness getting the best of him, and just as his hands rose up—about to touch your hips and force you to plop down on his cock—your own hands reacted, grasping his before he could touch you and bringing them above his head, successfully catching him off guard.

“You said you don’t deserve to touch me.”

His eyes widened in realization, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of a way to take back the words that he said earlier. Fuck, he wanted to touch you, he could see your pussy hovering inches over his cock, and he bet he could slide right into you from how wet you looked, already picturing the feeling of your warmth as he sunk into you.

Your hands grasped both of his wrists, leaving his arms pinned above his head as your other hand reached down, and he held his breath. There was a brief moment where he thought you’d show him mercy, hoping you were going to grab his dick from between your bodies, but when he saw your index and middle fingers part your lower lips he let a groan escape him. You trailed them up your slit and back down to circle around your entrance with a quiet hum, bringing your fingers back up in front of Taehyung’s eyes, watching him stare at them in awe as you separated them and your slick strung across from them.

“It’s a shame.” Your eyes trailed up to his hands again, seeing them clenched together in your grasp. “I’d love to have your hands inside me, but maybe next time.”

“No,” he croaked out, hips desperately lifting up in hopes of grinding into your pussy but he fell short. “Please, let me touch you.”

The begging satisfied the sick itch you were hoping to scratch, leaving you grinning above him. You had just started, yet his eyebrows were already furrowed, eyes locked in a trance on your fingers that were still in front of his face.

“Not today, baby. Do you want a taste though?” He was nodding the second the proposal left your mouth. Taehyung licked his lips in desperation, mouth opening up as you brought them towards his lips, his neck craning forward and wrapping his lips around your fingers to taste the remnants of your arousal. His tongue flicked between your fingers as he sucked like his life depended on it, the urgency displayed had more wetness gushing out of you, and when Taehyung’s eyes darted towards his abdomen, he saw that some of it had dripped onto the skin below where you hovered.

You pulled your fingers out of his mouth and brought them back between your legs to tease yourself further. “Fuck, this could’ve been you doing this to me Taehyung.” You gasped out as your fingers flicked over your clit repeatedly and he whimpered, head falling back to rest on the pillows because he couldn’t take watching you get yourself off above him while his dick lay hard and leaking right below you.

You snickered to yourself, finally deciding to take some pity on the man, reaching below you to grasp his cock. His neck tensed up at the action, head whipping back up to make sure he wasn’t imaging anything. But there you were, small hands barely wrapping around his thick cock as you gave it a gentle tug. Your fingers were covered in your slick, making the glide feel delicious, spreading your arousal around his length and mixing with his own in a sinful combination.

Taehyung’s chest heaved slightly as you picked up your pace, your fingers coming up to play with his pink tip before going back down quickly, hands set to tease him. He was trying to stop himself from moaning, you already had his arms restrained, he didn't want to give you this much power over him, but when your hands came down to fondle his balls he couldn’t hold back the needy whine that left him. The desperation behind him just made your pussy clench, and you really wish he could fuck you, but you weren’t going to let him get his way this easily, not when he hadn’t worked for it.

“Keep your hands there.” You spoke firmly as you released your grasp on them, smirking at his obedience when his fingers chose to wrap around the poles of the headboard behind him instead. He wasn’t sure what you were going to do, but he was hoping your next move would be sinking onto his cock.

“Wait,” he spoke up as you placed both your hands on his chest. “I don’t have a condom,” he admitted, face scrunching up when he saw you freeze in your action of dropping down on top of him.

“Oh,” you cooed, left hand coming up to cup his cheek tenderly. “Don’t worry about that.” His heart was torn because although he loved going without a condom, he didn’t know you enough to trust continuing without one. “You’re not fucking me.”

And now his heart was shredded, thrown into a dumpster, and set on fire. “What?”

Your fingers traced his cheek softly as you smiled at him. “Only good boys get to fuck me and you—“ you patted his skin in a gentle, yet firm, slap. “—haven’t been good.”

A pout forms on his lips because now he’s desperate, and also confused. Why would you strip out of all your clothes just to tease him like this? Were you going to finish yourself off on top of him and just leave? He wasn’t entirely against that scenario because he’s sure it would be hot as fuck, but his dick was literally throbbing.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t notice you had shuffled down a bit and rested your dripping pussy right on top of his cock, your lips parting slightly as you rocked your hips forward. And then he was gasping, his hands detaching from the headboard and instinctively wanting to grab your hips, but they stopped an inch or so away, catching his own mistake. His fingers remained trembling in the air, a moan finally leaving his lips at the feeling of you grinding on his cock, the relief of you not leaving him high and dry taking over.

Keeping your palms on his chest, you used them as leverage to help you move, a wicked smile on your face when you saw the internal debate he was having. He could touch you if he really wanted to, he could say fuck your rules and grip your hips so hard they’d bruise, but he didn’t. He listened to you, his shaking hands retreating back to the headboard with a groan of restraint.

“Good boy,” you spoke softly, his cock twitching at the praise. He liked this, the foreign feeling of being pliant underneath you, letting you call all of the shots, it was igniting a warmth inside of him that he never expected.

Taehyung could feel his stomach becoming a sticky mess from his precum and your wetness dripping down from his cock, but he didn’t care, he loved when it was messy, loved hearing the squelching sound filling the room every time you rocked your hips. The fact that you were this drenched from teasing him just turned him on more, and he really wanted to say fuck it and ask you to sink onto his cock, but you told him to be a good boy so that’s what he would do.

“Feel good?”

“S-so good,” he whined out, breathy and strained, almost as if he didn’t want to admit to it.

His thighs were tense and aching, forcing himself to not thrust forward in fear that you’d stop what you were doing, small moans leaving his lips when the tip of his cock would brush against your clit. He looked fucked out underneath you, eyes blown open as he locked onto the spot between you two, watching his messy cock peek out between your legs when you’d grind your hips back.

Taehyung had never cum from doing this, it was something he had never tried before; he was used to the quickness of fucking at parties, some fingering being involved before he slid in from behind. But he could feel himself edging closer to his release embarrassingly fast, the sinful moans leaving your mouth only aiding in pushing him over faster.

You had a good rhythm going, his cock trapped between his stomach and your pussy, and even though he was trying his best not to be vocal, you could see he was close to falling apart. His hands were clenching the headboard so hard they were paling, and if that wasn’t enough of an indication his face surely said it all.

Leaning over his body, you let your face inch closer to his as you sped up your hips. At your proximity Taehyung finally spoke up, “Can I-fuc—” he shuddered, “—can I please kiss you?”

Your eyebrow cocked up at his request, not expecting that to be what he wanted from you. “You want to kiss me?”

Taehyung's dark hair bounced on his head as he nodded frantically. “Yes,” he gasped out, squirming underneath you as you bucked harder on top of him.

He wanted to kiss you, your lips looked so soft and shiny, and he wanted to feel them on top of his. Honestly what he really wanted was to flip you over and fuck you senseless—he had the power to—the weight of you on him was nothing he couldn’t overpower, but something about you being in control of his pleasure was doing things to him.

When your hair grazed his chest from you dropping down, his heart skipped but your lips chose to kiss his neck instead, small traces and licks on his skin as you trailed up towards his jaw until finally you reached his lips. They were tacky from your lip gloss but he didn’t care, they felt as soft as he imagined, and when you snuck your tongue into the mix Taehyung whimpered into your mouth. His eyes fluttered shut at the feeling, pleasure rolling over him in waves that only intensified when you wrapped your lips around his tongue and sucked.

You could feel his body tensing up from underneath you, his climax creeping up on him, so you rocked faster, sinking your teeth into his plump bottom lip and tugging back. That was the final push before he was cumming, face screwed up the same way it was on the bus and a rough groan that you swallowed with another kiss.

Fuck, he was beautiful.

Another moan spilled out as you continued your movements, feeling his cum splashing up towards his chest from the force, some of it dribbling down his cock and settling onto your pussy. “Wow,” you mused, lips pulling back from his and looking down to see the mess he had made, his breathing continuing to shudder until you came to a stop.

Taehyung kept his grip on the headboard, a lot more limp than before, vision hazy from his orgasm and entire body tingling. You lifted up from him and shuffled further down, licking the trail of cum on his stomach with a grin when you noticed how his sensitive cock twitched at the visual.

Trying to save face, he turned his head into his upper arm to shield himself, the small burn of embarrassment felt at the fact that he had just blown his load from you grinding on him in record time.

You weren’t finished with him yet though, your body still slowly sliding down him, fingers leaving feather-like touches on his skin that he mistook as you soothing his shuddering body, until they grasped his cock.

“Oh,” he winced, feeling your fingers grazing his sensitive dick, your mouth quickly enveloping it, making his back arch from the sudden sensation. It was no secret that Taehyung had a love for overstimulation, constantly toeing the line between pain and pleasure when he continued to jack off after cumming, but your warm mouth was new.

His sore fingers released the headboard, elbows straightening up because he had to watch this, had to burn this point of view into his mind forever. You were crouched at the bottom of the bed on your knees, ass up in the air as you swallowed his cock, your tongue swirling around it when you felt it start to harden again.

“H-hurts,” he admitted with his hips twitching, not sure if he wanted to thrust into your mouth or back away. Your hands rested on his hips to stop them from moving as his dick slipped out of your mouth with a pop.

“You want me to stop?” One hand was lazily jerking him as you spoke, his dick twitching in your grasp once more.

No, no he was loving this. The pleasure was sharp but it was spreading a warmth throughout his body. Could he cum again?

He was clearly having a hard time deciding if he wanted you to stop or not, the wrinkles on his forehead deepening as he moaned softly, but Taehyung liked the pain, you could tell.

When your mouth took him in again he gasped lewdly, his elbows giving out and letting him flop back on the bed with a thump, fingers gripping the crumpled sheets beneath him. “No, no,” he whimpered again when you hollowed your cheeks and sucked. “Don’t stop, god.”

He could feel you smirking around his cock, your tongue coming out to flick the tip of his dick, red and swollen and once again dripping. One of your hands wrapped around the part you couldn’t reach, squeezing and tugging in time with your mouth; the other was dipped between your own thighs, fingers sinking into your cunt and thrusting them to match your motions.

Taehyung had his hands gripping onto the bed sheets to stop them from tangling into your hair and forcing you to take all of him, but his head peeked up, and when he saw you playing with yourself he sat back up, hips finally coming up to thrust into your mouth. Whimpers of pain and pleasure filled the room, the muscles in his neck pulled taut as he felt pressure start to bloom in his lower stomach.

He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle having another orgasm, every time he’d hit the back of your throat he felt the wind get knocked out of him, knees acting on reflex and shooting up to try to squirm away from your grasp.

The want to scold him was strong but you were getting closer to cumming, and seeing him losing control only made you moan around his cock. You pulled your fingers out of yourself, and with a few more flicks on your clit you were cumming. Taehyung watched in awe as your hips stuttered, and the moan you let out just urged him to keep thrusting into your mouth.

His fingers were sore from the grip he had on the sheets and when he saw the drool leaking out of your mouth as you sunk all the way down, he finally felt the band snap, a throaty moan leaving his lips as he bowed his back into the mattress, the pain and pleasure blending together beautifully and bringing him to one of the best orgasms of his life. This load was a lot smaller than the last, but he was completely spent now, body lying limp on the bed as he tried to catch his breath.

Swallowing the cum on your tongue with a smirk, you took him in your mouth once more to tease, pulling back and placing a gentle kiss on the tip of his soft cock.

“Such a good boy.” You teased as you made your way back up to him with a genuine smile on your face. Your soft lips pressed against his again, mouth opening up and he could taste himself on your tongue but he didn’t mind it. With a little hesitance, his hand came up to finally touch you, fingers tangling into your hair as he deepened the kiss, your teeth clashing together a few times because he couldn’t get enough.

He watched as you pulled back from him, your tongue tracing your lips while you flipped your hair behind you again. “You know, you’re pretty when you cum.” And he doesn’t know why, but the statement made him blush. No one had ever told him he looked pretty when he came.

“Thank you?”

You giggled, still on top of him. “You’re welcome. I’ll be thinking of it when I touch myself later.” You gave him another quick peck before you got off of him and started putting your clothes back on. Taehyung was in a state of shock as he observed you, he had cum twice and still hadn’t fucked you, and you were very clearly getting a kick out of it.

A final adjustment was done to your skirt before running your fingers through your hair, looking back at him still limp on his friend's bed, limbs resembling jello. It was cute, but you knew you had to trail him along further so you shot him a wink, opening up the bedroom door and waltzing out like you hadn’t just ruined him.

The haze that surrounded him whenever you were around him faded as you left and Taehyung sprung into action with a yelp, wrapping Hoseok's comforter around his naked body when he saw that you left the door open. Luckily no one was around, but he still rushed up with the sheets to close the door, legs feeling a little wobbly. With the door securely locked, he rested his weight against it, letting Hoseok’s ruined sheets fall from his body into a heap on the floor, his hand coming up to run through his messy hair.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he groaned in disbelief, balling up the sheets and stuffing them into the small hamper by the closet, they barely fit but it didn’t matter. Taehyung felt lost and a little unsatisfied, he knew he wouldn’t be able to feel completely satisfied until he actually fucked you. All he had to do was say it, you were dangling it right in front of him and he was too tongue tied to tell you how he actually felt. It was like all vocabulary and sense of communication was wiped clean whenever you were within a certain radius of him.

He slid back into his clothes, grabbing the tissues Hoseok conveniently had next to his bed, and wiped the small residue that was still on his stomach before he put his shirt back on. When his heart stopped pounding and he thought he was decent, he exited the room. Taehyung was set on finding you and speaking to you like a normal human being, his mind now cleared after those orgasms, so he felt sort of confident that he’d be able to get out a coherent sentence without sounding like an insecure loser.

Jungkook spotted him as he emerged from the hallway, his bunny smile spreading across his face when he saw how disheveled his friend looked, and considering he had seen you exit from that same spot minutes prior he knew what had gone down.

“Hey buddy.” Jungkook cooed obnoxiously, hands coming up to squeeze Taehyung's cheek, his fingers rubbing off the leftover residue of your lipgloss from his skin. He was drunk, breath smelling like vodka and his eyes glazed over, the classic dopey Jungkook smile on his face. Taehyung swatted his hands away from him with a grimace but Jungkook just slid beside him, slinging his arm across his shoulders and dragging him to the kitchen to get even more alcohol.

“So you fucked her right?” Taehyung accepted the drink, taking a sip as his eyes searched the room for you just like they had earlier.

“Sure,” he responded, not wanting to tell his friend that although you were both naked on top of each other and you had forced two orgasms out of him, he had not in fact been able to slide his dick inside of you.

Jungkook was too drunk to comprehend that sure didn’t exactly mean yes so he whooped, throwing his arms in the air with a laugh, and Taehyung couldn’t help but smile at his younger friend.

“Have you seen her by the way?”

Jungkook thought back to when he spotted you leaving Hoseok’s room, you had a look of satisfaction on your face as you walked through the house and headed for the backyard. You emerged back out with one of your friends beside you and you both laughed as you made a swift exit out of Jungkook’s house entirely. It was pretty obvious you wouldn’t be coming back.

“She definitely left.”

Taehyung could feel his heart sink at that. He should’ve spoken to you when you were both alone in the room instead of lying there in his post orgasmic glow. Too late.

He slid his phone out and decided he had to text you. The black line flickered on his phone, taunting him, waiting for him to type anything out, but he was stuck. What was he supposed to say? Thanks for the orgasms with a stupid emoji tacked at the end?

Taehyung 1:48am : You left so fast, get home safe

That’s what he settled on, and his eyes stayed glued on the phone when he saw the notification that you read it, three dots popping up as you typed a response back.

Y/N 1:52am : Sorry friend needed to get home and I was her ride.

Y/N 1:52am : Think about me tonight yeah? Goodnight busboy.

Taehyung thought about you alright. He thought about you often, frequently replaying the events that had happened that night as his fist wrapped around his cock on those nights where he was beyond desperate to cum.

The both of you hadn’t spoken much since the night of Hoseok and Jungkook’s party, due to the fact that finals were approaching and as much as you enjoyed this game you had with him, you also knew you needed to pass the classes you had. Taehyung doesn’t fault you for that, he was on the same boat, and if you had continued to tease him on the bus or through text message while he was already on the verge of a mental breakdown, he wasn’t sure he could survive it.

So it came as no surprise that when the semester came and went, the communication was once again severed, no longer having the morning commute to share together as winter break started.

Taehyung still thought of you often, every time you uploaded something onto your social media he stared at it for a minute too long, fingers urging to send you a message and start a conversation; but considering everything that had transpired between you two had been purely sexual he wasn’t sure a ‘haha funny meme’ message was going to get him very far.

When the second week of break rolled around and Taehyung started to go out with his friends, you began to slip his mind, the small acceptance of whatever you two had going fizzling away from his thoughts. He wondered if you forgot about him already, maybe you were home visiting family and had your sights set on another person.

With that thought engraved in his mind he allowed himself to go out with Jimin and Namjoon on a Saturday night, the three of them being the few of his friends that lived in the city and weren’t going home to their family for the holidays. They stood by the bar of some club closer to Jimin’s apartment, deeper into the city, a place Jimin swore the hottest girls frequented and when Taehyung scoped the crowd he took notice that Jimin was right.

It only took two shots to loosen him up enough to ease onto the dance floor, and only a few more minutes until a pretty redhead spotted him and made her way over, her hands trailing up onto his shoulder as she moved her hips in time with his. He smirked down at her, her eyes gleaming up at him while her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, she’s definitely his usual type. The way she gripped onto him when he slid his thigh in between her legs, how she easily gave in to the way he kissed his way into her mouth, eager to let him have his way with her. It’s no shock that he found himself tucked away in a corner of the club, letting her hands roam his chest as she latched her lips onto his neck while he dipped his hands under the hem of her skirt to play with her covered slit. It’s messy and he’s the one leading the way, it's familiar for him, but he can’t stop the small craving inside of him for something else, something different.

She whimpered into his mouth, not at all shy about being out in the open, and he can feel his cock throbbing at the thought of another girl that isn’t you for the first time—and you must have a sixth sense—there's no other explanation for him besides that when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

The nameless redhead whined at the loss of contact when he pulled his hand back to grab his phone, but he shushed her with a kiss, telling her he needed a minute. And that's all the convincing she needed to continue sucking hickeys into his neck.

When his phone lit up and he saw your name on his lock screen he blanked, eyes roaming behind him when he looked back to check if maybe you were here and that's why you were texting him. But when he unlocked the phone and saw the message you sent, it was oh so obvious that you were definitely not at the club.

The revelation of the photo you had sent catches him so off guard, he almost drops his phone, the device slipping through his fingers until he reacts and slammed it against his chest so hard to not let it clatter to the ground. The action winded him, the sharp pain of his phone wacking his chest had him wincing and it got the girl's attention.

Leaning back as her curious eyes peeked up to stare at him, instead she found herself staring at his chest, her face oddly lit up. The realization settled within him now, noticing that he must have flipped the phone over when he caught it and she was now clearly looking at the photo of you naked. The jaw dropping nudes you had sent, showcasing your boobs with your fingers on your nipple, wet with your arousal; and the second photo of your pussy on display had taken his breath away, but all it got him was a glare and a shove to his chest from the red head, muttering out that he was a pig as she pushed her way back to her friends.

He gulped as he flipped the phone around and analyzed the photo, a deep groan leaving him, because god dammit he had just started to come to terms that whatever you had was old news. You were always keeping him on his toes, it was going to fuck with his heart and his health.

Taehyung turned around and squinted through the flashing lights to hopefully find his friends, spotting Namjoon with a drink in one hand, his other clutching onto a blonde as they danced together, and he made his way over to him.

“I’m gonna head out,” he mumbled into Namjoon’s ear, ignoring the confused glance he gave him. The clear translation being: what the hell.

“We just got here.”

Taehyung knew this but he can’t hang around here with the thrumming bass and dance with other girls when you had just sent him these fucking photos. “Yeah, I don’t feel so hot. Don’t worry, I’m gonna take an uber just let Jimin know.”

Namjoon could only nod, not really wanting to separate himself from the cute girl he had grown fond of, but he would be forcing Taehyung to come out with them again next week. He just watched as his friend slipped through the crowd of the club until he stepped out.

When the cold air hit him Taehyung gulped it down, hands pressing against his face as he sighed and walked towards the brickwall on the side of the club. He couldn’t do this anymore, and with the alcohol numbing his common sense he didn’t think twice as he pulled his phone back out and opened up your message again, rechecking that you had in fact sent him those photos. And when he saw that you had, obscene photos still filling up his screen, he clicked the phone button and gave you a call.

He swore you weren’t going to answer him as the ring droned out, but when it cut off and all he heard is silence, he held his breath, wide eyes focusing on the cars driving on the street in front of him.

“Hi.”

Oh fuck.

“Why are you doing this to me?” He spoke out so softly, pleading into the phone as he grabbed a chunk of his hair in between his fingers.

“Would you rather I didn’t?” you hummed, phone pressed against your shoulder and ear as you lazily trailed a finger up and down your stomach.

“No!” he shouted, wincing when he saw other club goers give him an odd look. “No, but why me? We haven’t even spoken lately.”

“We’re speaking right now.”

He remained silent, not knowing how to respond to you, but he keeps the phone pressed against his ear, the soft sound of you breathing being the only noise he hears—until there's a small moan. It makes his blood run cold, eyes slipping shut as he imagined why you had made that noise.

“What are you doing?” He finds himself getting the courage to ask, enjoying the small laugh you let out as you admitted to touching yourself, so nonchalant and carefree about the fact that you were still the leading cause to his blue balls.

Taehyung was slightly tipsy, his mind whirling as he pictured your fingers sinking into your pussy like they had that night, the pretty sounds you had let out as your mouth was stuffed full of his cock and he groans. “Do you really enjoy making me suffer?”

“Oh, are you suffering?” you cooed into the receiver. “You know all you have to do is say it.”

He knew this, oh god did he know this and right now he’s way too lost in it all to even feel the embarrassment or unsureness he usually does when he’s around you, so he asks—no begs—to finally fuck you. “Please, please let me fuck you Y/N.”

Your own eyes shut as he said this, fingers coming back up to rest on your stomach while you sat up in your bed with a smile on your face, focusing on the object beside your bed. “Okay, I’ll let you, if you let me try something on you first.”

Taehyung doesn’t even care to ask what the hell you meant by that, his mind already set on fucking you, and when he agreed without a second thought you text him your address, your head whirling at whats to come.

Taehyung didn’t even realize when he got to your place, running on autopilot fueled by pure hormones as he got into the taxi and managed to somehow get to your apartment in one piece.

His fingers were shaking slightly as he punched in the code you had given him, the main door buzzing as it unlocked, and it's then that it hits him, he's actually here. He had actually voiced his want for you and now he was here, fuck.

You sat patiently on your living room couch, a soft oversized shirt on as you waited for him to make his way up. You had buzzed him in about a minute ago, so when you heard the soft thud of footsteps approaching in the hallway, you knew it was him.

The gentle knock against your door had you hopping up from your spot, slowly approaching it and pressing your eye against the peep hole to catch a glance at him. He stood a foot or so away, eyes squinting at his phone and back up at the number to make sure it was the right place, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of a neighbor.

Once you pulled open the door, you could tell he was nervous, hair a little messy on top of his head and face looking slightly flushed, but he stood up straight and gave you a smile.

“Hi,” he utters out, walking into your place when you stepped aside and motioned for him to come in. He half expected your apartment to look like a sex dungeon, dark and dim, covered in leather with a sex swing in the corner, but its surprisingly normal.

The soft pastel pinks and oranges greeting him is definitely not what he imagined but he likes it, his eyes locking onto a watermelon plushie with button eyes tucked into the edge of your couch.

“Taehyung, do you want some water?” you offer, wanting to ease him into this, but he just shakes his head, turning back around to face you and it's then that he realized you’re only wearing a shirt.

“If you’re drunk we don’t have to do this right now.”

Taehyung heard you loud and clear, but he can’t look away from your chest, every time he blinks he could see the image of your tits thanks to the picture you had graciously provided him with. It’s killing him because he knew you were currently bare underneath the thin shirt you have on.

To be honest he wasn’t drunk, barely even tipsy, the small amount of liquor he consumed tonight was way less than his normal amount. He felt woozy enough around you on a normal day, but he knew he definitely wasn’t too drunk to do what he had come here to do.

“No, I’m good. I swear.”

The determination in his tone was very clear but you still waited for him to stop blatantly staring at the way your nipples poked through the fabric of your shirt, until finally his gaze locked with yours, following behind you as you led the way to your bedroom.

When he entered your room his eyes were drawn to your bed, fluffy and inviting, draped in a soft peach duvet with light pillows, but knowing the absolutely filthy things you most likely did on it killed the small sense of innocence he initially felt. Especially when he spots the hitachi wand resting pretty at the edge of the bed.

You were staring at his profile when he spotted it and you saw the way he swallowed, wide eyes bulging out as he analyzed the toy. Was this what you had been using when you answered his phone call? He wasn’t sure, he hadn’t heard anything in the background...maybe it was one of those fancy zero noise ones.

When he heard you giggle he snapped out of it, turning to face you with curious eyes.

“Have you never seen one?” Taehyung remained silent as he thought, but it's pretty clear he hadn’t. There was never time for sex toys with one night stands in random houses, sure he had seen them in porn but real life felt different. He wished he had, he didn’t want to use this on you and fumble around and make a bigger fool of himself.

“I take it you’ve never used one then?” you ask again as you walk over to it, picking it up gently in your hands and approaching Taehyung thanks to the fact that it was wireless.

He could only shake his head, staring at it in your grasp as your fingers glided over the plastic handle, your thumb flicking it on and smiling when the low hum filled the room. It's on the lowest setting but that didn’t stop you from beginning to get excited.

“Would you let me try this on you Taehyung?”

He looked utterly confused by your question, not at all expecting to be on the receiving end of this. What did you mean by that?

“You mean like shove it up my ass?” He could see you trying not to laugh at him, biting your lip as you shook your head.

“No, it's not a dildo Tae. Use it here.” You reached out until it was gently pressed against his crotch, the wand buzzing over his jeans. He let out a grunt at the feeling, head dropping down to stare at the white silicone head weakly vibrating on him, taking a moment to get over the initial shock. He chalked it up to being slightly under the influence, but he really wanted you to turn it up.

It was clear to see how mesmerized he was by the device so you flicked it up a level, relishing in the small gasp he let out as his jaw dropped. It was barely a flutter of pleasure, but something about it excited him, had him craving more so he looked up at you, glassy eyes and all.

“You can do whatever you want to me.” He felt no shame when he told you that, groaning once more when you applied a hint of pressure against him.

The way your body reacted to his words was pure instinct, him admitting to letting you do as you please unhinged you. He saw it in the way you bit your lip, your eyes roaming his face until they dragged down his body, landing on his now half hard cock with the vibrating head of the wand still pressing against it.

“Fuck, please,” he begged, and when you retract the wand he almost takes it back. That is, until you were pulling him in, one hand tugging at his shirt until he's flushed against you, your lips meeting his in a frenzy, swallowing the moan he let out into the kiss. His hands stayed at his sides, not sure if he was allowed to touch you again considering you had told him not to last time, and you smirked when you realized it. Taehyung knew he would only be able to touch you if he deserved it, your words being engraved in his brain, and he was planning on earning that tonight.

“Good boy, you remembered.” you whispered out, lips brushing against his as you spoke. His eyes remained shut, the only indication that he heard being the small nod he gave you. Your hand inched up from the grasp you had in his shirt until you’re cupping his cheek gently.

“You see what happens when you’re good?” You kissed him again, pulling back once he started to press harder into you. “You get rewarded.” His breath shuddered against your face at the promise of being rewarded, and you smiled while reaching down to grab his hand and gently tugged him closer towards your bed, your right hand still holding the wand loosely by your side as he followed along.

“Do you want me–“ he paused to take a breath when you turned back around to face him. “Do you want me to strip?” His voice sounded so soft, unsure if asking you was the right thing to do, but him asking you this showed you that you’d managed to create another sliver in his outer shell. One step closer to cracking him.

You gave him another gentle kiss, nodding as you stepped back from him, eyes trained on his body while he began to tug at the black shirt he had tucked into his jeans, the material slowly sliding off his body and revealing his tan skin.

He didn’t feel uneasy at your staring this time around, being able to tell you’re clearly enjoying the view of him slowly undressing, your eyes focusing on his cock as it sprung out when he slid out of his briefs. Your hand clutched onto the wand a little tighter, fingers hovering over the power button with newfound enthusiasm, eager to make him squirm at the new sensation. And when he took it upon himself to settle onto your bed without you having to ask, you withheld the urge to clap in excitement.

Taehyung waited with baited breath when you kneeled onto the bed, shuffling your way up his body and setting the toy by his side, his body flinching slightly when the cool plastic touched his skin as it rolled on the bed. Resting your weight on your left hand, settled by his shoulder while your right hand softly cupped his cheek as you inched closer. His eyes looked at your lips before looking back down to his own hands, an unspoken question hanging off his tongue.

“My hands?” Is all he managed to get out, the rest of the question dying when he made eye contact but you only raised your brows up, making him realize he needed to be more specific. “Do you want them grabbing the headboard again?”

Leaning forward to kiss him once more, you smirked, witnessing how such a simple question could embarrass him so much due to him being in a different position than he was used to. “Ideally I’d want them cuffed and behind your back.” He shut his eyes at your words, cock throbbing as he pictured himself the way you wanted him. “But not today. Just keep them on the bed. Can you do that?”

Taehyung felt your lips press against his again and he nodded. “Y-yeah, yeah I can.”

He could feel you hum against his skin, the hand that was cupping his cheek beginning to trail down his chest, passing his navel until you reached his dick, fingers wrapping around him and beginning to slide your palm up and down. “Good.”

He sighed into your mouth as your hands squeezed around the base of his cock, twisting as it came up in a slow motion, wanting to ease him into the pleasure of it so as to not scare him when you grab the wand again. It only took a few minutes until he’s kissing you more relaxed, body sagging into the bed as he grunt softly into your mouth whenever you focused on his swollen tip; and that's when you reached over to your bedside table, grabbing the bottle of lube you had with your lips still attached to him.

They separate with a light smack, and you rest back onto his thighs, taking a moment to take him in, the way he’s laid out on your bed, chest heaving slightly while his weeping dick sat against his stomach. He watched you intently as you uncapped the lube you have, dropping a generous amount into your palm and wrapping it around his cock again. Taehyung hissed at the cool sensation, stomach tensing when you began a fluid motion only set on spreading the liquid, but he still groaned because he knew what was next.

You tried not to let the overt excitement show on your face when you reached over and grabbed the wand once more, thumb flicking it on to the lowest setting and pressing it against his thigh first, observing the way he jumped slightly at the sensation. “I know you’ve never used this before,” you start, trailing the vibrating head up onto his stomach and back down to his other thigh, dipping down slightly towards the center but staying off his cock. “So, you need to tell me if you feel uncomfortable at any moment okay?”

His thighs are tensing up already, getting desperate to feel something, anything. “Like a safe word?”

“Sure,” you hummed, staring back at his face and seeing the distraught look on it. He wasn’t sure why the idea of a safe word sent his mind into a flurry, he had never used one and having to think of one that he’d remember seemed almost impossible at the moment. “Or we can make it easy. You know traffic lights?”

He nodded. “Great. If you say green everything's going good, yellow is if you start to feel uncomfortable or need me to slow down, red is if you need me to stop completely. You say these at any time.”

You’re continuing to tease him as you explained this and Taehyung rested his head back, not wanting to see you as you clearly avoided giving his dick any attention.

“Okay, I got it. Green,” he groaned out, and you just chuckled, finally pressing the head of the vibrator against his cock. The low vibrations started at the base and his stomach tensed at the feeling, a tiny whine escaping him, hands having to resort to clutching your sheets again to stop himself from grabbing you and forcing you to switch it up a level.

The head of the vibrator bent slightly as you applied more pressure, thumb flicking it up two levels and enjoying the way he cursed, his head lifting back up to stare in awe as you slowly dragged it up an inch before coming back down, passing it right over his balls briefly.

“Oh shit,” he keened, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, not being able to thrust up into it because you were still resting on his thighs.

“Aren’t you glad you told me yes?” you asked teasingly, sliding it up until it was nuzzled right against his frenulum before kicking it up another two levels. His reaction had you dripping against his thighs, arm muscles taut from how hard he’s grabbing the duvet, stomach caving in as he moaned out unabashedly.

“Fuck,” he gasped, “yes, I am.” Taehyung had no idea something like this could feel so good, he was so accustomed to hearing women talking about vibrators and he thought it was a load of shit. Clearly he had been very, very wrong.

Even though you’re focusing it on the underside of his tip, slowly raising the levels up until he’s squirming, he felt like his whole lower body was vibrating. The telltale signs of his orgasm creep up on him, the feeling only increasing when your fingers wrap around his shaft and you hold the vibrator against his swollen tip. The fluttering feeling of pressure building up becoming more consistent, his breath leaving him in huffs as he tried to force it away.

You can tell by the way his body started to tense up, your finger turning it up another level to push him further. “Are you gonna cum already? I thought you wanted to fuck me?”

He whined loudly, desperately trying to sink his hips into the bed to ease the pressure but your hands followed his movements, his head whipping to the side as he scrunched his face up. “Fuck, I do–I do want to fuck you, god–“ he gasped out when you started to circle the head of the toy around his tip, the rolling pleasure becoming too much. “Unghh, please let me f-fuck you.”

His stomach began to shudder more aggressively, hips wiggling around and you smirked down at him, his face finally turning back up to stare at the ceiling, his brows pulled together tightly with unshed tears prickling his waterline. “Hold it Taehyung.”

He nearly sobbed at your demand, taking in a deep breath as he shut his eyes once more, forcing himself to try to tune out his nearing release. His heart feels tight in his chest, blood thrumming so loud in his head, eyes burning as the tears finally spill over. But it’s too late, the tingling feeling had started to spread throughout his body and he knew he was a few seconds away from blowing his load.

Taehyung let out a pained moan. “Fuck I can’t, y-yellow, yellow!” You let go of his cock, the vibrator lowering in intensity before easing off and going back to trail on his stomach and thighs as his close release faded away, letting him whimper as he tried to catch his breath. “I’m sorry.”

After a moment you switched the toy off entirely and set it aside on the bed, soft hands running along his skin to help calm him down, reaching up to gently wipe away his fallen tears. “Don’t be sorry, you did good.”

He sighed in relief, glad that he hadn’t ruined it by not being able to hold off his orgasm, he tried the best he could but the only way he wanted to cum was after he sank into you.

You gave him another minute to come down, easing off of his thighs to tug your shirt off of your body, the material landing in a heap on the floor and that grabbed Taehyung's attention. He looked at your body with desire, wanting to reach out and grab you, kneading your flesh as he cupped your tits and ass, but he's done so well so far so he holds himself back. The only daring touch he allowed is his thumbs gently rubbing against your knees as they rest on either side of his thighs.

You let the touch slide as you bent forward and kissed him, reaching over to the bedside drawer and pulling out a condom. Leaning back from him, you tear it open with your teeth and slowly ease it onto his throbbing cock, hearing him groan when your hands add a bit of pressure at his base once it's fully rolled on.

“You okay?” you ask softly. He looked dazed out, no longer tipsy from his earlier adventure but his mind was working on overdrive, the abundance of fantasies he’s had of you are coming to fruition. He was finally going to know what it felt like to actually fuck you, and he was scared his excitement would make him cum a minute in, especially after he had forced his last orgasm away.

“Yeah, just–“ he swallowed harshly, letting his head fall back into the plush pillows. “Give me a minute please.” You smirked at the slightly pained expression on his face, but you hummed anyways, letting his dick lay back above his stomach as you leaned forward and opted for kissing him softly, fingers slowly trailing through his hair to help calm him down.

Taehyung shivered as your nails gently scraped down until you reached his neck, his hips beginning to rut up against you, clearly being ready to continue.

“Please,” he starts again, groaning as you tugged his lower lip between your teeth, letting it snap back gently. “Let me fuck you. I’ve been good right?” He still felt his face flush at his own words but a strange sense of pleasure also coursed through him when you nodded in response.

Your hand reached down between your bodies, grabbing his cock to tease around your entrance. “Yes Tae, you’ve been very good.” He held his breath as you started to ease down onto him, the both of you groaning at the pleasant stretch of your walls, his jaw dropping while he kept his eyes glued at the sight of his thick cock parting your lips.

“Holy shit,” he gasped out when you fully sank onto him, giving him a moment as you rested your hands on his chest, biting your lip at how full you felt.

Kim Taehyung’s dick lived up to its name, long and girthy with the prettiest veins running along the underside of it, the slightest curve of it allowing it to gently nudge along the sweet patch inside of you. It filled you up perfectly, leaving you stunned above him as you adjusted to his size.

When his breathing evened out, you peeked a glance at him, his forehead slightly damp from the earlier teasing. He looked so utterly fucked out and desperate and it urged you on; you were determined to crack him, show him how great this could be, and so far he seemed more than willing to let go of control.

As you start a slow rhythm, you wished you could bind his wrists behind his back, strapped into a chair, wrapped up in the pretty red rope you used to use on Jungkook, or even drape your favorite blindfold over his eyes like you used to with Hwasa; but you didn’t want to push him further, you were letting him dip his toe into this.

Taehyung was so used to being in control, so used to being the one in charge of giving for himself, and when he had heard the way you spoke to him: praising him for behaving, all giggly and soft after you had made his mind blank from an orgasm, he wasn’t sure he wanted to go back to his normal.

His thumb was still grazing your knees, every time he flicked them upward on your skin he could feel your muscles tense as you lift yourself off of him and snap back down, the sound of your skin slapping together filling up the room. They mixed in with your soft moans, nearly concealing how affected you were by this, hiding the small cries of pleasure felt from the tip of his cock nudging the sweetest spots deep within you.

Taehyung could feel his blood buzzing in his ear, the feeling of being buried inside of you going beyond what he ever thought, his heart continuing to pound when he felt you tighten around his length.

“Is this worth you leaving whoever you were with earlier tonight?”

Your words caught him off guard for a moment, having to clear the heady feeling in his brain, and he took a moment to wonder how you knew he was with someone, but then your fingers came to prod at the hickeys littering his neck.

Half moons marked his skin as your nails came down to his chest, lightly digging into his skin and he hissed, hips thrusting up slightly. “Shit, I–“ he whined when you began to grind against him, slow rocks of your hips letting him feel the glide of your walls against his cock. “Yes, so worth it.”

You let yourself lean more against his chest, tits pressed along his skin as you brought your face closer. “Do you think she would’ve been able to make you feel this good?”

He doesn’t even have to think about it, immediately shaking his head. “No—fuck, just you.”

You pressed a kiss directly underneath one of the hickeys, leaning back again and cupping your breasts, fingers pinching and rolling your nipples as you resumed bouncing on top of him. Sinful slaps of your skin connecting fill up the room like it belonged there, arousal gushing out of you when he whimpers at the visual of you riding him.

The whiny pleas he let out proved he’s edging close to his release again, making a heat pool in your gut, and he shocks you when he requests for you to place your hands around his throat. He had always been interested in choking, albeit he always imagined he’d be the one with his hands wrapped around someone but this felt right, your thumb and middle finger pressing into his carotid artery had all the stars aligning in his eyes.

Your eyes widened at his reaction, not expecting him to be bold enough to ask for this considering it took him this long to tell you he wanted to fuck you, but you’d take it. You’d take his half lidded gaze as you applied pressure on his neck, his stomach caving in slightly everytime you slid back down on his length, your walls squeezing him deliciously as he neared his end; you’d take all of it. .

He could feel his mind going hazy, drifting up as every nerve in him tingled, hyper fixated on the repeated raunchy, wet sound of you riding him. Taking note of his floaty appearance, you sped up your pace, tightening up around him as you leaned forward and kissed his cheek softly. “You feel so good Taehyung, cum for me.”

He shivered slightly at your words, your hands squeezing a little tighter against his neck, and suddenly he's cumming. His body was set alight as the feeling caught him by surprise, eyes bulging out and a choked gasp leaving his mouth when you released his throat.

He let out a loud moan of your name, rutting his hips up into you as his dick twitched and filled up the condom, spine sparking with pleasure as you continued to rut against him. “Oh fuck,” he cried out, his hand coming up to tangle into his hair while the small after shocks of his orgasm hit him.

When you reached over to grab the forgotten hitachi wand, his mind blanks, seeing you continuing to grind against his still hard dick as you pressed the head of the wand against your clit had him at a loss.

Fuck you’re hot.

When you smiled down at him, your mouth dropping open slightly when you found the sweet spot, he realized he uttered that out loud. Another groan of his spilled out again when he felt the vibrations against his own cock from how high you had the settings.

You give up on fucking him, letting his cock stay nuzzled deep inside of you as you pressed one hand against his ribs while you hunched over and moaned. The intensity of the vibrator had your whole body trembling, buzzing directly against your swollen clit with precision, making your velvety walls pulse around his sensitive cock.

The feeling of your orgasm came on strongly, your hand pressing the toy harder against you, and Taehyung felt like he could cum again as you tightened your walls around him, the sensation making him softly rut up into you.

“Oh god, fuck Taehyung,” you gasped out, throwing your head back as your orgasm finally hit you. All Taehyung could do was stare at you in a daze as you came undone, small whimpers leaving your lips as your hips twitched, chasing the pleasure until you were sighing and shutting off the toy, body still trembling from the aftershocks.

When you tossed it aside you stayed sat on him, breath heaving as you hunched over him slightly. His hands that were on your knees fully came up onto your thighs to gently massage them, wanting to comfort you, the mutual understanding that he was allowed to touch you after sex being passed between you.

After a minute, you slowly eases yourself off of his soft length, pulling off the condom and tossing it into the bin beside the bed.

Taehyung was entirely spent. Tonight had felt like the longest night of his life, and his eyes were drifting shut when he felt you straddle him again, your arms resting on his chest as you stared up at his sleepy form.

His eye cracked open and he grinned at you when he saw the look on your face; it was the sweet smile you wore when you were up to no good. The fingers on your left hand gently spelled your name on his skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, your chin rested on top of your arm and you laughed when you saw his eyebrow raise up in question.

“What?” he asked. You were clearly out of the mood that made you want to bind and tease Taehyung until he was crying, wanting to reassure him and make sure he was comfortable after doing things you knew he wasn’t used to with your soft touches.

You hummed softly as you stared into his eyes. “Kim Taehyung is into choking huh?”

His face flushes immediately as he replays his request in his mind, and you pat his chest to get him to stare at you, a small frown on your face at his clear embarrassment. “Hey, it wasn’t a tease. It’s hot.”

Taehyung raised both brows now, staring at you like you had said something absolutely foreign to him. Tonight was a night of firsts and realizations, who knew Taehyung loved the feeling of a vibrator on his cock, and who knew he had a kink for your hands around his throat. “Really?”

“Oh yeah,” you mused, lifting up slightly to inch closer to his face. “Seeing you squirming while I choked you was the hottest thing.”

He could only stare at you, the gears in his head turning as he thought of what just happened. He never imagined he’d be into giving someone control like that. Taehyung knew it was minuscule, but this was all new to him and he loved it already, his brain wondering how much further you could take it.

“You know, I’m kinda into it.” He looked away from you as he said this, still not confident in admitting it and he knew it was silly, especially when he could see how much hearing these words lit your face up.

Your eyes shut when he admitted to this; it always felt like finding gold when you got a man to confess to enjoying this. So many men were always afraid to admit to liking how it felt when a girl took control over them, no matter how subtle, and Taehyung was someone you thought would be a little harder to break down.

“Are you?”

He hummed, his hands finally coming up higher to touch you and his warm grip caught you off guard. But he takes his time as he trails his fingers up and down your sides, gliding across your back, sliding them into your hair and tugging you closer until he’s kissing you, the first time he’s ever taken control of any situation.

He relished in the small gasp you let out as he licked the seam of your lips, his tongue slipping in and massaging against yours slowly for a brief moment until he’s pulling back. Taehyung realized that this is the longest conversation you two have had in person, and the first one where he didn’t feel like a babbling idiot.

“Is there more we can try next time?” he wondered softly, nudging your noses together and kissing you again briefly.

Your mind was already picturing how he’d look tied up, cock swollen and dripping with a cockring sat snuggly around his base, maybe a thick collar around his neck. You could ease him into trying out some of the floggers you have, or tempt him into wax play, maybe ice cubes if he was wary of the wax. So many ideas that had you squirming on top of him with anticipation, and when he saw that look on your face he found himself smiling with you.

“Oh, there's so much Taehyung. You just have to tell me what you’re comfortable with.” Your fingers are raking through his own hair now as he leaned into the touch. “Can you do that?”

When your fingers tugged the strands, he sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Pressing your lips against his again, he feels you smirk against his skin, the small sharpness of your teeth sinking into his lip making him groan. “Good boy.”

#ficswithluv #btswritingcafe #heartsforbts #btsghostie #bangtansorciere #vantaenet #taehyung smut #kim taehyung #taehyung #bts smut #bts fics #taehyung scenarios

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guns-in-the-desert · 4 years ago

Text

Alone Time- Germany(NSFW) one-shot

IT’S FINALLY HERE, MY FIRST ONE SHOT ON THIS BLOG, To the angel that requested it, I’m sorry it took so long, I hope you love it. I tried my best to keep it gender neutral as possible. So tell if there are any slip ups (specifically with pronouns).

anyways, here are the warnings

Pet-play(she was on a leash), Boot licking, Oral sex (reader giving), Germany being hot, and bad writing.

Status: Unedited

“Stop it, Ludwig,” I say, feeling my boyfriend's lips on my neck. “I'm trying to cook.”

“I'm not doing anything, just relax.” and me, being the idiot I am, I listened. I tried my best to focus on not burning the pancakes in front of me, but Ludwig was making this the most difficult task in the world. I feel his cold hands slowly begin to caress up my waist, and under my (his) shirt. He reaches over my shoulder and turns off the stove. He begins to bite my shoulder. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. Ludwig starts to rub up my thighs, I bite my lip, in anticipation. He slowly inches his hands closer to my core. He begins to slide my underwear to the side, I feel his finger start to enter my.

“Ass face, I need powdered sugar.” Monika’s (nyo!Germany) voice rings through the house. I hear the front door slam and turn around to see Ludwig, eyes wide, and cheeks red. He Immediately removes his hands from me, and goes upstairs. Great, now I'm horny with a half cooked pancake.

It’s been a week since Ludwig’s sister caught us in a less than decent position, and he hasn’t laid a hand on me since “You need to get over your weird paranoia, no one is gonna walk in.” I say crawling towards him, leash around my neck. There’s no way he could resist me like this, I'm practically the perfect puppy. He looked right at me, and turned right back to his laptop. My eyes were saucers, at this point. I stared at him in awe. He completely ignored me. I see my boyfriend's eyes look in my direction.

“Don't give me that look.” he says, my face twisted into a confused look. “Stop it.” Ludwig commands.

“I don’t know what you're talking about.” He gives me a stern look and I begin to catch on. Slowly I start to crawl towards my boyfriend, tongue out, eyes wide.

“Sit.” I stop dead in my tracks, look at him, cocking my head to the side. “Stop, I'm working.” I bite my lip and whimper. He takes a deep breath and continues to type. I continue crawling forward. “I said stop!” he said, his jaw tense.

“But master,” I pause, “I've been so good.” Without hesitation, he grabs the leash and yanks me in his direction.

“I've spoken to you about talking back, haven’t I?” he questions, his voice lowering. I nod in response. “Then what exactly am I gonna do about that mouth of yours?” he asks while he pinches my cheek. Despite the way it was phrased it wasn't much of a question.

Ludwig unzips his pants and takes his length out, he grabs the back of my head, and not so gently places my mouth around his cock.

“HEY WEST!” The obnoxious sound of my boyfriend's older brother, Gilbert’s, voice fills the home office. I'm immediately yanked off of my boyfriend's cock by my hair. “I don't remember what I came in here for, but mine is way bigger.” and before I knew it, we were both being kicked out. Joke’s on him, I could hear his porn through the door, that he had the nerve to lock me out of.

At this point, Ludwig’s refusing to even glance in my direction, and doesn’t seem to like the idea of taking back the keys he gave to his siblings, so once again, I'm forced to take matters into my own hands. I wait for him to come home, on the couch, in nothing but a collar and pink thong, this has to work or I might actually explode.

I hear the lock on the front door turn, and I perk up, “Hey, Ludwig, how was work?” I greet him casually

“Oh, it was fi-” he cuts himself off upon seeing me, I can't but feel proud of myself for triggering this reaction from him. I look up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I cock my head to the side. “Long day?” Ludwig can’t seem to find words. “If so, I know what you need.” I say guiding him to the couch. “A good ol’ fashion boot cleaning.” I state lowering myself onto my knees.

“No, I'm okay.” My boyfriend says in retaliation.

“D-did he just say no?” I think to myself. I'm pretty sure my jaw literally hit the floor.

“Would you prefer a foot rest?” I ask, switching my position to my hands and knees. He stays silent and doesn’t move an inch, it’s like he’s frozen. “Welp, I guess boot cleaning it is.” I state lowering my face to the boots in question. I start by licking up the side, my tongue only grazing the rubber sole. I make my way to the steel toe, and just as I'm getting to my favorite part.

“HEY BROHAUS, I'M GOING THE STORE, YOU WANT SOM- OH!”

“GODDAMMIT JJ!” I shout in frustration.

“You're just gonna let her talk to your big sister like that.” JJ says, sitting on the chair, in the living room like she didn't interrupt us. Ludwig looks as if he’s frozen. “Damn Luddy, you’ve kinda disappointed me here, you gotta make her lick it like she means it.” Ludwig doesn't say anything in response to his sister just lowers his head in shame. “If she doesn't, what's the point?” his sister continues.

“Umm..” I begin but I can't figure what I could possibly say in this situation.

“Anyways, do you need anything from the store?” JJ offers with a smile. I'm in absolute shock by her nonchalant nature.

“Just some milk.” Ludwig says, eyes still on his lap.

“No problem, baby.” She says in an endearing, motherly tone (no one has ever confused me more than this woman has at this moment), getting up to pinch her baby brother's cheeks. Her demeanor immediately changes to her regular, obnoxious one, as she exits through the front door. “DON'T FORGET TO CLEAN THE SOLES!” She laughs while closing the door. I stay on the floor stunned at what just happened, as my boyfriend just goes upstairs to take, what I assume to be, a cold shower.

I wake up to hear water running, I quickly get up and make my way to the bathroom, and strip down completely. I hop in behind my unsuspecting boyfriend, and wrap my arms around his torso, I feel him jump slightly.

“What exactly do you think you are doing?” Ludwig questions turning to face me.

“Saving water, I thought it was obvious.” I say a playful tone in my voice. I lower myself onto my knees, to take his half hard cock into my hand, and slowly start to pump.

“Stop, what if somebody co-” I shush him

“Who is going to come in, while your showering?” I say before putting my mouth to good use.

“Well, I suppose your right.” he says, grabbing me by my hair, and bringing my nose to his toned abdomen. I feel myself choke slightly.

“What’s wrong, can't take it, all of sudden.” He chuckles. “Pathetic.” he presses my head down with a firmer grip. “Suck it like you mean it, or don’t suck it all.” I'm suddenly hit with flashbacks of his sister from two weeks ago. I'm not gonna lie, It threw me off a bit.

Ludwig continues to bob my head back and forth on his length, watching me intensely. I feel him start to twitch in my mouth, he tenses and I feel his warm load glide down throat and dribble down my chin.

“GERMAAAAAANYYYYYYY” I hear the voice of Feliciano, Ludwig’s best friend, as I'm met with the cold air, from the curtain being torn open. “Oh hi Y/N, you look awfully pretty today.” I see ludwigs eyes darken from his friend's comment.

“What do you want?” Ludwig says, visually irritated.

“I wanted to know if you had seen my spatual, I used it yesterday and now I can't find it.” Feliciano had said it so fast, I almost didn't understand him.

“Why the hell would I know, YOU DON'T LIVE HERE!” I jumped a little at his sudden increase of volume, it was kinda hot.

“I'm sorry Luddy, I forgot?” I giggle at Feli’s response.

“You mean to tell me you walked all the way to my house, and still didn’t remember you lived somewhere else?” Feliciano just nodded in response to my boyfriend's question. “GET OUT!” and with that, Feli was out the door.

Ludwig reaches over to turn the water off. “Um, what exactly do you think you're doing?” I say and he shoots me a confused look. “You get to finish, and I don’t?” He stops and stands straight up. “I think the fuck not, you trick ass bitch.”

Ludwig sighs, hoisting me up against the wall, and rubbing circles on my clit. “You’re right, that was rude of me.” he says, biting my neck.

“That's quite a subby response, if you ask me.” I say earning me a slap on the ass, the water only amplifying the sting caused from his hand. Thank god, I don’t know what’d I would've done if he left me hanging again.

Up next: Axis with a bratty s/o

Until next time😚

#hetalia #aph #hetalia x reader #hetalia headcanons #aph germany #germany #germany x reader #aph germany x reader #hetalia smut #aph Germany smut #one shot #anime #fanfic

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hcrringtonshair · 4 years ago

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Sweet as sugar

Sam Wilson x Reader

Summary: Sarah Wilson is your best friend and she’s inviting you for dinner.

Word Count: 2048

Warnings: a few swearing words, alcohol consumption and fluff

A/n: Thank you sm for requesting this @buckybarnes101 !! I had so much fun writing this and I kinda got lost in it so it’s pretty long but I couldn’t stop myself 😁 Anyways, I really hope you like it!

Sorry for any grammatical errors, I don’t have a beta reader and I’m not a native english speaker.

Masterlist

(Gif credit goes to @emraanhashmi)

Dinner tonight at my place? The boys are asking for you like every 5 minutes and I want to see my best friend

With a big grin you looked at your phone reading the message from your best friend Sarah.

You checked the time, 4 pm.

Sure! Can’t wait to see you all again 😍 I’ll be there at 7? Oh and is Sam back home?

Your hand landed with a clap on your forehead, why did you ask this? But it was too late to delete it because Sarah already saw it.

You were best friends since college, and she knew about your secret crush on Sam all over the years.

But since he was off to be an avenger and safe the world you had given up any hopes and went into dating again. Not that successful but at least you tried.

We can’t wait either ☺️ Fine I’ll prepare dinner soon and yes Sam is here!

A tickle went through your stomach, and you couldn’t help but to smile, rereading the message before you jumped off your seat.

One of your colleagues looked up from the other side of the desk.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes. Uh.. Important stuff.”

You waved with the phone, grabbing your bag and jacket.

“I worked last Tuesday 3 hours longer. So leaving one hour earlier today will be no problem. Bye!”

After you rushed home, you realized you had no plan what to wear. Normally you showed up at Sarah’s in comfy clothes but today was different. Full of excitement you started to empty the wardrobe, looking for something special.

6:13 pm. Shit you would be there too late… As always.

You nearly stomped over a bunch of clothing that laid on the floor by heading to the door.

Only 10 minutes too late you arrived at the house, Sarah waved from the kitchen window as the door opened and two boys ran to you.

“Aunt y/n”

The two hugged you when you barely left the car, making one step back because of them rushing onto you.

“Hey boys.”

Smiling you put your arms around both of them.

“C’mon we have to show you our new video game!”

They both start running towards the house as you follow them slowly.

“They’re even louder than I remember.”

You laughed as you entered the kitchen, greeting Sarah with a hug, giving her a bottle of wine you bought in the city before.

“That’s because they have an uncle who encourages them, isn’t it like that Sam?”

For a moment you froze before turning around, following the view of Sarah to look at her brother who leans at the door frame.

Arms crossed on his chest, the tight sweater showing off every muscle on his broad arms.

His eyes wander down your body for a moment before they locked with yours again and a little smirk appeared on his lips.

The smirk that you loved so much and makes your heartbeat racing up.

“That’s absolutely right.”

He pushed himself off the frame, making his way to you.

“Long time no see sugar.”

You frown by him calling you sugar, not able to reply directly.

“World’s safe then I guess.”

When his arms wrapped around your body for a moment you held your breath.

You smelled his cologne, a mix of vanilla and cedar wood.

“Safer than ever.”

Before you could react he stepped back, noticing his hands brushing over your hips while letting go.

Automatically a bright smile showed up on your face, you looked at each other, and you didn’t notice the silence in the room before Sarah coughed giggling behind you.

“Sam would you mind to go and tell the boys they have to quit playing. Mr Liu is going to pick them up in 5 minutes.”

Not without winking at you Sam left the kitchen, you hear him laughing in the living room as you turn around.

“So what was that?”

Sarah handed you a glass of wine grinning knowingly, you both toasted.

“What?”

Making an innocent face after taking a few sips of the alcohol.

“This between you and him. I could literally feel the tension. And don’t lie to me, I know that you have a crush on him ever since I introduced you to each other.”

With every word you recognize your cheeks heat up and panic builds up in your stomach as you heard footsteps in your direction while she was speaking.

“Mr Liu is here.”

Sam’s face looked into the room, the boys rushing in to give their mother and you a short hug before leaving again followed by Sam.

When the door closed you breathed out heavy.

“There was no tension. We just haven't seen each other for a long time.”

You shrugged and saw through the window how Sam was saying goodbye to his nephews.

“Of course y/n. Next time tell me something I really could believe.”

Playfully you slapped Sarah’s shoulder and you both started laughing.

“Dinner is ready soon. C’mon let’s sit down outside.”

“Wow I nearly forgot how beautiful it is here.”

Astonished by the view of the last sun shining glittering on the calm water and the trees slowly waving in the warm breeze you made yourself comfortable on the bench on the veranda.

“If you would visit us more often you wouldn’t say that.”

Sam companies the two of you by sitting down next to you.

From the corner of your eyes you saw him casually resting his arm behind you.

You gave Sarah a haunting look which she answered with a giggle.

Her eyes switched from you to her brother and for a moment she stayed on him.

Since Sam sat down, your body had cramped, and you concentrated to act normal by emptying the glass of wine in one.

“Wow, slow it down, sugar. We don’t want you to be drunk before dessert.”

His giggling sent shivers down your spine, and you couldn’t help but to let out a nervous laughter.

“I’m honored that you care but don’t worry. I still have to drive home.”

You hadn’t noticed that Sarah left while you had spoken to Sam, so you turn around a bit, casually crossing your legs and resting hands folded on the upper thigh.

“Then I’ll give you more wine.”

His arm shoots around you to the table on your left to grab the bottle of wine, “More wine, less leaving.”

“Oh shit. Sorry guys, I forgot about Mrs Benoit’s Gutter. I promised her to fix it today.”

Sarah rushed out of the house down the staircase and you both flinched by the sudden interruption.

“But I already fixed it earlier this morning!”

Sam shouted at her when she headed to the car.

She waved with her hand, “She said it’s broken again! Dinner is ready, start eating without me, I’ll be back asap.”

Speechless you stared at your best friend, who was giving you a wink through the car window before driving away.

Seconds of silence let you inspect the fine fabric of your blouse.

“So then. Let’s go eating.”

You looked up, watching Sam going back on his feet reaching out for your hand.

For a brief moment you stare at his hand, feeling again your cheeks heating up before taking it timidly.

Your heartbeat was loud in your ears, it pounded so fast that you thought it would spring out of your rib cage every second.

The fact that Sarah already prepared the table with only two plates didn’t help.

“Damn it Sarah.”

You murmured as you sat down, Sam on the opposite laughed, his eyes shining in the dimmed light.

“I’m pretty sure that the gutter is fixed.”

“So am I. And I’m convinced that she will not be back soon.”

He opens up a beer and silently you both put some food on your plates.

“She was also bold enough to light candles. Didn’t know her romantic side until then.”

Sam laughed again at your words, nearly knocking over his beer can.

“She can be. Did you know how much she loved Dirty Dancing when we were younger? Or Titanic, god how many handkerchiefs were necessary for her tears.”

“Sounds familiar.”

Without looking at him you began to eat, grinning at the thought of a younger Sam who helps Sarah calm down after the death of Jack.

“Wait, don’t tell me that your most favorite movie of all time is Titanic.”

His eyes showed surprise and a bit of shock and you laughed again when his left hand wandered up to his chest, resting it where the heart is.

“No way! But I won’t lie when I say that I’ve cried when Rose realized that Jack is dead. It is an emotional scene and I will never not cry while watching this.”

You paused for taking the wine glass up to your lips, noticing that Sam was following your movements with his eyes.

You giggled into the glass, raising eyebrows which leads him to speak.

“I forgot how good you’re looking. No let me speak out.”

He raised one hand to stop you from speaking up.

“You’re really beautiful y/n. Sweet as sugar.”

He gave you a wink, his hand randomly brushing over yours as you both wanted to grab a spoon.

“Thank you.”

In your head you slapped yourself for that dumb answer, but it was impossible to make one right thought in your head since Sarah had left.

After dinner and three more glasses of wine you’d become more confident and put all your thoughts aside.

“So what next? I’m not ready to leave.”

“Maybe we should use the time, even though I don’t think that my sister will be here soon.”

He made a gesture to show you to follow him.

“We could watch a movie.”

He looked at a small shelf, left to the TV and you accompanied him, your eyes flying over the titles on the DVD boxes.

“What about that?”

You groan as he held Titanic in his hands, grinning down at you and wiggling with his eyebrows.

“No way unless you want to make me cry.”

“Maybe it’s just an excuse to hold you.”

The innocent glare he gave you before inspecting the cover of the box let your hands shake.

“You don’t need an excuse for that.”

Mumbling you choose another box holding it up so that he could read it.

“Sounds like an offer. Go make yourself comfortable, I’ll handle this.”

He took the box, and you made your way to the couch in front of the TV.

It wasn’t possible to concentrate yourself on Bad Boys II.

Soon as he sat down beside you, he had wrapped one arm around your shoulders and pushed you against his chest.

Immediately you had lied down your head on it which caused him to giggle lightly.

The alcohol had made your head go dizzy, and soon you felt how your eyelids become heavy.

“You’re sure you want to drive home? You can stay here, or I can bring you.”

His voice was close to your ear, and you flinched, you must have been asleep for a short moment.

“Oh no you don’t have to. I’m fine and besides, how will you come home then?”

“Then we’ll take my car, and I’ll pick you up tomorrow. But you can just stay here. We have a free room.”

With a big yawn you sit up, stretching out your arms before falling back against him.

“You know what. I’ll stay here. But you can pick me up from work tomorrow anyways.”

The blood shoots into your face as you heard yourself speaking, embarrassed you looked up to see him smile.

You stayed like this for a couple of seconds, his hands wandering up and down your back.

“You know what I can also do?”

“You could kiss me.”

You had spoken out loud your thoughts before you had really thought about it.

And he did, pressing down his lips onto yours and caused you to hold your breath for a moment.

The kiss was slow, his smooth lips moved perfectly against yours, and you couldn’t help but to grab his shoulders and push yourself closer to him.

“Sarah should leave us alone more often then.”

#Request #fic request #Sam Wilson #Sam Wilson x reader #Sam Wilson x you #Sam Wilson x y/n #falcon #tfatws #Sarah Wilson #Sam Wilson fluff #marvel #mcu #marvel writer

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cherryyjjk · 4 years ago

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forever rain [2]

summary: to greek gods, it was a well-known fact that the fates liked to play tricks. but was this too far? what would happen when they made two unlikely gods have a tugging string in their hearts, yearning for each other?

pairing: hades!jin x persephone!reader

genre: fluff / angst / greek god! au / black swan! au

word count: 18.3k

warnings: the use of the word “whore” / cursing / snake mention

a/n: WOW this is the most i’ve ever written for a fic. please check out both pt 1 and the note about this series in my masterlist before reading! i know this is SO overdue like a year overdue. i’ve been writing it in the last three months bc school <<. anyways, thanks for reading and enjoy!! :D

By the time you wake up, he is gone— not that you had known he sat next to you. But when you rose up from your slumber, a coat fell from your shoulders.

His..?

You looked at it and wondered if he had given it to you. It was a thoughtful gesture, and a necessary one as your hands were getting numb. Before wrapping it around your shoulders, you stretch your hands above you. Blinking the drowsiness out of your eyes and sitting up a little further, you yawned and decided to stand up. Your feet hit a softer material that you weren’t expecting, making you look down. The cold floor that was there yesterday was covered by a soft gray rug and you moved your toes to feel it more.

Him and his dark colors.

You rolled your eyes at the color palette of the entire room and thought that maybe the guy hadn’t decorated in a while. It made you think of Yoongi's liking for dark colors even though he was viewed as basically the opposite— the god of love. If you were going to live here for the rest of your life, a thought that made you sigh, might as well change the place a bit. Adding tones of lighter colors would not be so bad, maybe brighten up the room and seem less like a cave and more like a palace. You looked around the room to the lanterns on the wall and decided that you would have to do something about that.

It didn’t even light up the room! What was the point of lights if you can’t even see the floor?

The air seemed less tense than when you entered the palace and you were definitely feeling it. The entire palace was suffocating when you walked inside, cold and sharp as if to hurt you. But now, it seemed different. Maybe not soft or lush like your home— or what was your home in the mortal realm. It was rather empty instead of spikes, a little bit better, but not great either.

You continued to look around the room before your eyes landed on a small nightstand and saw a few warmer clothes. You walked towards it and with one hand, as the other was tightly holding his coat, you felt the material. It was a lot thicker than your chiton and was a dark green, reminiscent of the forest trees back home. Your lips lifted up in a light smile at the thought and decided to change into it. Before removing your current dress, you saw that there was a flower. You didn’t understand how flowers could grow in the Underworld, and when you picked it up and realized it was a silver color, but fake. Not the color of jewelry that you often saw other mortals wearing, but like a coin. It was pretty.

A piece of paper fell on the floor that had been next to the flower. Picking up to read it, you were surprised by the penmanship.

My apologies, Persephone. I have some duties I must attend to in Olympus. This palace is yours as well, ask for anything to the ghosts and they shall bring it.

You grimaced. While it was a thoughtful gesture in any other circumstance, you still were wary of this God. Putting the flower back on the table, you changed. The dress made you feel a lot warmer and the cloak was quickly discarded.

What time was it in the mortal world?

You wondered how time seemed to simultaneously slow down and speed up. Slowly tip-toeing out the room, you closed the door behind you very softly and continued through the hall. The hall seemed a little more lit up but it was still darker than usual. You wondered if you could use your powers to grow a bioluminescent lily, and light up the hallway. But after squeezing your eyes shut to concentrate, holding your palms out, and thinking heavily about life, you could not do it. You couldn’t even produce a regular lily. You didn’t understand.

Where did my powers go? How would I go back home? Was I.. not a goddess anymore?

You took a few deep breaths and reminded yourself, relax, it’s fine. But it seemed far from fine, you would just have to ask Hades when you saw him. You roamed around the hallways, finding winding staircases, huge rooms, empty rooms, rooms that weren’t empty but you wished they were when you saw inside, and all filled with the scent of death. You quickly turned away from those rooms and opted to keep walking.

It seemed that minutes turned into an hour, an hour and a half, then two. You brought your hands together and rubbed them together. The hallway seemed to never end and you wondered where the door was. You just wanted some fresh air, you tried convincing yourself. It’s not like I’m trying to escape..

“Excuse me,” a voice called out. Your eyes widened and you whipped your head back to only see more darkness, and heard it continue, “but who are you?”

“Don’t come closer! I might seem weak but I could knock you out with one punch.” Your voice was a lot steadier than you let on. You were tired of being afraid all the time.

“..I’m sure you can but you didn’t answer my question. I don’t care what type of hero or princess you were as a mortal but you’re dead now. Listen up, I’m in charge here.”

“Mortal?”

“Yes, didn’t your mother ever tell you not to get a God angry?”

“..I’m Kore, the daughter of Demeter. Goddess of the Spring, flora, and fauna. Whoever you are, know this. I am in charge here.”

The hallway suddenly brightened up and you lifted yourself with your head held up high. While the light was too bright for your eyes, you tried not to let it phase you and faced the figure that revealed itself in the light. You glared at the man in front of you, he was wrapped in a black cloth— seriously, what was up with the color scheme here?— and wouldn’t meet your eyes. He quickly glanced at you with a grimace but kept his head down for the remainder of the time as he felt utterly embarrassed. His scythe that was on his back made your eyebrows raise.

“Well?”

“Look, I’m sorry—“

“You better be, and you better tell me quickly why you tried to trick me before I turn you into a cactus.”

“..I’m Thanatos, the God of Death, the one who reaps the souls. I..I come here to report to Hades. I didn’t know his wife was here.”

At the word wife, you twitched. You weren’t just someone’s wife, you were your own goddess. Styx, the gods needed to learn some manners. You stepped up close to him, still with a serious gaze. Grabbing his shoulder, you speak coldly.

“Don’t call me just his wife. I’m more than that.”

“R-right, sorry. Kore.”

“No, not Kore. That is reserved for my mother and the nymphs. Call me, Y/N.”

Thanatos looked at you quizzically. You seemed so calm and usually this was where the other gods would punish him. You gave a small smile before complimenting on his scythe. He had never encountered any god that was so carefree and kind. You looked young, maybe a few eons old, yet your eyes held a soft wise look that could only come with experiences.

You asked curiously, “Did you make it so that these hallways are so dark?”

Thanatos answered quickly and rushed over his words, “Um, yes. I apologize. It’s much brighter because Hades sometimes mirrors the daytime of the mortal world.”

“Hm, so you’re the one who made me lost!”

Thanatos tried to test his luck, he was a God he couldn’t possibly die, right?

“..You’ve been wandering in circles for the last half an hour.”

“..And?”

You scoffed at his continued rudeness but it seemed more playful than last time. It was better than being alone all the time, sure, but you wanted to ask someone who didn’t know what was going on like you. Couldn’t the Fates just help you out here? But truly, you were happy to smile and have a friend.

“It gets kinda lonely here, doesn’t it?”

“..Yes. Hades often works until he collapses.”

“You don’t have to be so formal with me, please let us walk.”

You pondered over Thanatos’s words, did he really work like that? That wasn’t healthy but you wouldn’t fret over it for too long, he could take care of himself. Switching to think about yourself, you realized you didn’t have any contact with Jimin, your mother, or anyone else you knew. It was just you in this huge palace, and the guy in front of you of course.

“Hm, Thanatos?”

“Yes?”

“Is it.. just you here?”

“Well, mortal souls come and go. Some heroes test their luck with Hades but he’s colder than Hera.”

“In that case, mind being my companion until I go home?”

Thanatos didn’t understand your request. Not only had you just asked the personification of death, the son of Nyx, to be your friend, but you proposed it as if you were leaving. No one but himself and Hades left the Underworld. Thanatos was baffled beyond measure and his face showed it completely. You tried not to get frustrated at his obvious confusion and waited patiently.

“Oh, um. Sure.”

“Awesome, now onto more important matters. Why the fuck am I here?”

“W-What? What do you mean? Didn’t Zeus—”

“Namjoon? I haven’t seen that old man in ages!”

Thanatos stuttered, understanding that you were a powerful Goddess was one thing but talking about the King of all Gods so casually was a whole other. “Well, Hades has visited you once, when you were younger. He asked Zeus for your name and Zeus told him that you and your mother would have wanted this union.”

“When I was younger? OH!”

Suddenly you remembered when you had first come down to Earth to live with your mother. She was busy the first few months and had let you wander off (with nymph supervision of course) but as the mischievous child you were, you had run fast away until you hit a river. At the river you distinctly remembered a young man, the same age as you practically, that held out a purple flower. Entranced by the dark petals— usually only bright yellows and oranges were flowers— and by the dashing young man, you had become friends. Rarely speaking about yourselves, you would talk about flowers. Something both of you really liked. Now that Thanatos mentioned it, the black messed up hair seemed to resemble Hades, and his love for dark colors— something that you didn’t quite agree with— was evident too.

“Oh..I see. Well, my mother would never give me off to someone! She’s wonderful and very protective so Joon’s lied to you. But I guess that’s something to settle with Hades himself. Now, what’s something fun we could do around here?”

Thanatos slowly smiled at your enthusiasm, it was like a breath of life into his life. He had lived most of his life in the shadow of his mentor, Hades and although he enjoyed Hades’s company..it was hurting him. Thanatos wanted to be known for his own thing, why didn’t he have altars or temples in the mortal realm? Though that question was probably fruitless since mortals didn’t know what they were doing most of the time.

For the next few days, or weeks— you couldn’t really tell— you spent your time with Thanatos when he was free. He was free almost all of the time, showing many new rooms and how to not get lost through the hallways. He also let you vent about your worries. You worried that your mother must have been saddened without your presence, and maybe even Jimin was missing your short talks. Hopefully the flowers in the meadow had fully bloomed by now. All of these things, and more, kept running through your head and you liked that Thanatos had basically nothing else to do but give you advice. You appreciated his company but you wanted to see the person that brought you here too. Hades— Seokjin you figured out from Thanatos— was apparently extremely busy with human deaths. Maybe there was a new sacrifice that Zeus was putting them through? Or maybe another war? You didn’t really care too much until you realized that Seokjin would have to stay up there, counting and making sure that everyone and everything that died was in place before coming back. That’s supposed to be Thanatos’s job but apparently even he couldn’t round that many people. Strange.

A conversation with Thanatos also raised your frustration.

“So Tan-Tan.”

“No.”

“Tosy?”

“Nope.”

“Tanny?”

“..Can you please just call me Thanatos, Y/N.”

“You call me Y/N! Come on, let me give you a nickname.”

“Y/N is the name you chose. That’s different and no.”

“You’re literally so boring. Anyways, when’s Hades coming back? I’m getting tired of your face.”

“I am literally not boring! I’m Death, how can I be boring? aND MY FACE IS PRETTY WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

“You talk like— never mind. Ignoring your pretty obvious questions, I asked, why is Seokjin taking so long?”

Thanatos paused, Zeus had warned the minor god that if he told Y/N what was happening in the world above, he’d be cursed. Being cursed as a God was the farthest from good.

“Mortals..have been in a war recently.”

“Oh, whatever for? They have food, warm weather, sunshine, and plentiful water. There shouldn’t be anything missing…Right?”

Good thing that he would be able to escape your line of questions by just disappearing in a fit of smoke. You glared at Thanatos and when you started seeing smoke forming. You lifted your hand to stop him but it passed through the air like nothing was there.

Stupid Thanatos, thinking he can trick me. I’ll figure out what’s happening up there!

You tried to be determined but you were scared too.

You reached for the front door of the palace, somehow making itself very easy to find, and you pulled on the handle. It didn’t budge. You pulled harder, it stayed the same. Realizing that you were still stuck here, you tried punching the door. But that only left you with a hurt pride and a bruised knuckle. Groaning loudly, you dragged your feet back to your bedroom and decided to take a nap.

Better than waiting for him to come back.

By the time you woke up, an empty gold plate was left on your nightstand. You rubbed the drowsiness out of your eyes and reached for it. Ghost servants usually came to give you your meals this way. An empty plate where you can think about what you want and it’ll appear. It was pretty nice but you were getting more tired about the fact that no one would eat with you.

You finished your lunch? Dinner? You didn’t know and didn’t bother figuring out. A few days ago, Thanatos had shown you a library and you had been encouraged to use it. You had picked out a few books and was still reading it. (F/G) was by far the best genre and you always liked authors that wrote about it.

While reading on the bed, you decided to move around for a change of scenery. Wandering the hallways alone, you stopped in front of your favorite room. The throne room. Also the room that was “off limits” but you lived here so you didn’t really care.

The warning was for a reason. Hades didn’t think you would be there and so when he first shadow travelled there, he was surprised. Finally, the person that plagued your days and nights had come home. But he didn’t look great.

You had heard his footsteps before seeing his face, thinking it was just Thanatos. You sat on Hades’s throne, as it was the only one there. It looked a lot like a hard brick of marble, and definitely felt like it, but it was a lot softer than you imagined too. Not nearly as soft as the meadows back home. It was cold and smooth, like the freshwater rivers.

Wonderful.

Soft footsteps grabbed your attention from the book and up to the person in front of you. Your feet that were haphazardly thrown over the throne quickly turned around to the front. The book once in your hands dropped to the floor but you didn’t rush forward to meet him.

Hades.

“What happened?” You asked breathlessly, your hands fumbling with each other but your feet didn’t move. Hades’s shirt was soaked with gold and he was limping towards you.

Was this a trick? To make you vulnerable?

He looked at you and you could only comprehend the soft murmur of your name on his lips before he fell forward, his eyes closing shut.

You’re here...Y/N..

Running towards his side, you caught him as he landed on your chest. You felt a blade handle on his back and held back a scream.

Hades had gone up to Mount Olympus the very next morning after your arrival into the palace. His brother Namjoon had looked at him in confusion, Seokjin never came late to their monthly briefings, opting to come on time and leave as fast as he could, but usually they would take a few weeks to finish. His hair had been tousled through several times and he kept clutching his feather necklace when listening to Namjoon, Hermes, and the other gods and goddesses’s discussion of famine, war, and other things that were troubling mortals.

They only knew this because mortals just loved to blame the gods for not being able to do anything to save them. But, when in peril, their curses turned into prayers and while it annoyed the everliving Styx out of all them, it made sense. Deities that were supposed to be all powerful couldn’t even get rid of a simple plague or bug that was absolutely destroying the population and food? Seemed sketchy.

Namjoon wanted to ask what his brother was thinking about but whenever he looked at the feather dangling from his neck, he shut his mouth. When the Gods were first born to take care of the world, Namjoon had banished Seokjin to the Underworld. Only giving a necklace with a black feather before doing so, saying that his miseries would be fulfilled when the necklace was put on its rightful owner. What authority did he have on his brother’s life if he was the one who made it so horrible?

No, Namjoon would keep his bruised ego to himself and stay silent. He did not get the right to ask him what the matter was— it just seemed wrong and distasteful. So, he turned a blind eye and let Seokjin leave in a rush. Jin always left in a rush, he didn’t like sleeping in Olympus for so long. Namjoon was so preoccupied with his thoughts, that he didn’t notice his brother stopping at the foot of Olympus and meeting her.

Unfortunately for Seokjin, it was only the mother of who he was so concerned about. He wondered if the Fates had just thought it would be funny to pair the quietest god with you. He had heard wonderful stories of you, Kore. The original reason he was so attracted to you. Zeus himself had told him that you were the strongest and kindest Goddess there was, sprinkling in your humor and beauty to try and make you seem more appealing. But Seokjin had met you once, you had mistaken him for a minor god. That was eons ago, you probably didn’t even remember but the way you had walked towards him, with such confidence and power.

God, he really liked you.

He felt bad at the same time, here he was, this lovestruck God, for a Goddess that probably despised him from taking you away from your home. Did the Fates hate you so badly to let Zeus convince him to take you? Jin was about to greet your mother but the slap to his face certainly made him backtrack.

Demeter slapped him and the fury she brought with her made all present in Olympus tremble. She spoke with such power, it was clear where you inherited your confidence.

“Are you happy? Now that you have my daughter all to yourself?”

Jin gently touched his red cheek, confused at the sudden aggression and onslaught of questions.

Didn’t Zeus say that Demeter and you were glad to be offered a proposal from him?

“She’s the only thing that kept me alive, the world spinning, and here you are, not even at her side! You fool! Don’t take my status among the Olympians lightly, I am still powerful and if you cross me I will make you regret it.”

Demeter yelled out in one breath, as if she had been waiting years to say it. Her frustration and anger was evident and the icy tone could easily cut harshly into the heart, “Does it bring you so much joy to have Persephone all to yourself? My most precious possession—?”

“She is not an object.”

Demeter paused, then scoffed at Seokjin’s quiet but confident interjection. She glanced up at him and almost gasped at his eyes which had a purple fire burning in them.

Instinctively taking a step back and crossing her arms around her shoulders, she continued, “..Obviously. But you’re still in the wrong. How dare you take her! I’m her mother, you are nothing.”

The fire in Seokjin’s eyes simmered down but were still clearly there, and he responded with a level tone, “It doesn’t matter who I am or will be to Y/N. You or any other living, dead, or immortal being can not talk about her like that.”

“Stop talking like the hero, you stole her!”

“Stole her? Zeus said—”

“Zeus is a liar. You, of all people, should know this.”

Seokjin fell quiet and his eyes returned to their normal color, he couldn’t bring himself to disagree now that he knew the truth. He had stolen you, and he laughed at himself in his thoughts. Who was he to defend you like this when he treated you the same way?

He was not your husband, whether or not the Fates tied your strings together, whether or not Zeus had assured him that you were happy to be with him. He had witnessed the marriages of his siblings and their respective significant others. The Olympians were famous for their affairs, demigod children, and stupidity. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t end up like that, or force his significant other to love him. No, that would be your decision and your decision only. But the moment you step into the Underworld, there was a rule that applied to everyone except himself and Thanatos. No one could leave.

“..Goodbye Demeter.”

Seokjin kept his head down and vanished with only a black smoke left behind in his wake. Demeter folded her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.

“You’ll regret this, God of Death. Mark my words, she is not yours.”

Seokjin appeared in the middle of Demeter’s palace, somewhere completely different to where he was aiming. He should work on his powers.

What type of god (a bumbling idiot for sure) couldn’t even control his powers? He wasn’t a few eons on for Styx sake! But he definitely acted like a blushing teenager when around you— again, another thing he sincerely had to work on.

He looked around the white, marble balcony he was standing in. He could feel you. But you weren’t here…right? Where was he? He willed himself to shadow travel again and landed in the middle of a town. If he could still call it that.

It was destroyed.

By war, famine, or a plague, even Seokjin would never know. It was barren, but he heard coughing in a few huts. The crops in the field nearby had dried up and the river that used to flow was only a trickle. He walked through the paths and found a family of two bundled together trying to fight off the cold— cold?

Now that he thought about it, it was freezing. There was frost on the ground. Usually the mortal realm was flourishing in either Spring or Summer but it was neither right now. What was this cold, soul-less feeling? Something was terribly wrong and Seokjin was sure Demeter should have fixed it back to Spring.

Was this her anger?

Seokjin shook his head in confusion. Obviously, Demeter was angry that her only daughter was taken from her. The thought made Hades nauseous, how would he fix this? Better question, shouldn’t Namjoon have said something in the meeting?

Seokjin’s ears burned red when he realized that they probably did. It’s just that he was too preoccupied by the thought of you and your enchanting eyes, and soft lips— oh shit, shit, shit. Trying to snap out of it, Seokjin failed to hear the small footsteps of a child behind him.

Not that it should matter, mortals couldn’t see him. Right? The Fates were probably laughing at him, one of the Big Three yet he was dumber than a skeleton.

“Sir?”

Seokjin whipped his head around so fast that he was sure he heard a crack. But he was more focused and confused on the little child staring up at him in curious wonder. The kid had matted hair and a cloth dress that was barely thick enough to keep her from getting goosebumps on her arms. She was staring up at him but the dagger in her hand radiated power, but not just any power.

Godly power.

It flowed through the dagger into the surrounding air and Seokjin was sure that at this point there was no way this child wasn’t a monster or a god in disguise.

Her eyes suddenly rolled back and turned white. With her mouth open, she started to chant ancient Greek at a speed even Seokjin couldn’t keep up to, but he picked up one phrase.

Περσεφόνη νεκρός, άνοιξη νεκρός.

Everything clicked in his head just as the girl seemed to vanish.

Persephone is dead, Spring is dead.

Seokjin felt an electric shock in the middle of his back, intense heat, and then he doubled over from pain. He hadn’t experienced such scalding and burning feelings ever. His legs collapsed from under him and when he looked at his hand covering his midsection, he saw ichor, the golden blood of all immortal beings, covering his hand. He looked behind him to see the young, mortal girl.

“Demeter.”

The young girl transformed into the goddess in an instant and the dagger in her hand was coated with ichor. Looking at it made him queasy— ironic because he’s the god of the dead and he’s getting nauseous from blood. Poseidon and Zeus would surely laugh at his deplorable state if they ever saw him. But Seokjin was still more concerned about why Demeter had stabbed him.

Demeter may have been angry but not enough to kill— even she had principles. But, nonetheless impressive, he’ll give her that. But the pain was making him see black flecks in his vision— poison perhaps. It made him more worried than he should be.

“You were foolish to think that I would let you get away with this. Truly, is there anything in that head of yours?”

“You— why? I didn’t take her on purpose!”

“LIES, you men are all the same! But, don’t you like my little toy? It’s wonderful, truly. Hephaestus must’ve pitied me, not that I care as he has his own problems with Aphrodite and Ares, but he made a weapon that even a God could get hurt from. Zeus said I had one chance, but judging by the fact he lied to me, I don’t care. Now, this. THIS is for Persephone. DO NOT FORGET IT.”

With that, Demeter stabbed Hades in the same wound and Seokjin yelled out. The tip of the blade sank deeper and Demeter twisted it to make sure the blade touched every part of his wound. She jerked it out only to push it further, making Seokjin choke and roar in agonizing pain. Demeter saw the ichor flowing freely out of the wound and stepped back. She disappeared into the night, leaving Seokjin alone. He had one thought in his mind while the pain took all energy out of him to do anything else.

Y/N

His form was gone with a flash and all that was left of his presence was the pool of ichor on the ground. Even that faded into the ground.

“Styx! Hades, Hades, stay awake!” You screamed while trying to see how to pull out the dagger that was inches deep in his back.

His breathing had slowed down and your hands were frantically trying to keep him up. The bedroom was way too far so you would have to set him down on the floor. Trying to be careful, you made him lean on you and sit on the floor. His head was on your chest and his eyes were closed. There was a bit of gold on his lips and you were getting increasingly worried.

You looked around, “Shit, this is bad. Thanatos! How did this..” You tried not to shuffle Hades around but your arms were weak with worry.

Thanatos immediately appeared in front of you at your request and the scene made him startled. His hands were shaking and he didn’t understand what was happening. The words you were saying were muffled and his eyes were blurred. He could only look at the deep gash and the skin cut around it, a horrible shade of green.

“Thanatos! Pay attention. I need you to stay calm and get me some bandages, okay? Can you do that?” Your voice was shaking but you tried to keep it level.

His head nodded slightly and he instantly disappeared. He’d have to find mortal supplies because there was no reason to keep medical supplies in a palace for a god. Something was very wrong. Gods couldn’t die, right?

“Okay, okay Y/N. You got this, just put pressure on the wound and seal it shut. Okay, how hard could this be?” You reassured yourself in frustration, you were scared beyond belief.

You hesitantly put your hands on the dagger’s handle and when you touched it, a blood curdling scream left Seokjin’s mouth.

His breathing was getting shorter and faster, but he was still awake. You had nurtured a squirrel back to life after it fell down a tree but that was basically all the experience you had with medical equipment. You reasoned that until Thanatos brought back bandages, you wouldn’t be able to securely stitch up his back wound. A thought entered your mind, Why are you helping him?, but you shook it off as soon as you thought about it. It didn’t matter, Hades didn’t deserve to die.

“O-okay Hades, I’m gonna need you to stay calm. Okay? I’m flipping you on to your stomach, just keep talking to me okay?”

“I.. okay. I’ll keep talking..”

“Good, that’s good. You’re doing great.”

“You can call me Jin, you know.”

“Oh alright, Jin. You can call me Y/N, just keep talking.”

You slowly put your hands on his chest, trying to ignore how your left shoulder was numb from his weight, and slowly focused on the dagger in front of you. You could see the wound was ghastly. Green and gold colors mixed, as if it was poisoned. Poison. You hoped you would be able to save him. The ichor had finally clotted on the dagger, but the green foam seemed to keep stopping Jin’s body from regenerating. You remembered when you fell once and got a scratch, it instantly healed.

“Shit, shit, shit. This i-isn’t working. I-I need to—“

Jin frowned, “It’s okay Y/N. Don’t…worry. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re not healing, you are not fine!” You insisted. “I wish I had my powers, then I could do something. Ugh, this is so stupid.”

Jin paused, thinking over your words. “They don’t work here? That’s odd. My palace..should let you have everything.”

You huffed. “Uh-huh, you’re telling me. Look, just…don’t die, alright? We’ve barely met and I’d like to be friends.. again.”

“Did..Thanatos tell you that we were friends?”

“..No, I remembered it on my own obviously. It’s not like it’s been eons since then.”

“Y/N,” Jin’s clammy hand found your open one. “You’re really…something.”

You grimaced when he squeezed your hand from the pain. You were pleasantly surprised with how this conversation was turning out, it didn’t seem too forced. But it was almost like the Fates were tricking you again. Probably laughing at your naivety and hope.

Jin groaned and particularly squeezed your hand tighter, making you yelp in surprise. He apologized softly but even you could see that the poison was seeping through his shirt more and making it lighter somehow— possibly from the golden color of his blood.

You’re losing time, and Jin is not getting better. You really don’t want him to die, and you’re not really sure why either.

What has Jin done for you? He’s taken you away from your home, forced you to live in his palace, and for what? To be his ever loving, loyal, and submissive trophy wife?

Whispers in your mind keep telling you, don’t care! But you can’t. You can’t just leave him here, hurt and poisoned. You won’t.

Maybe that’s your fatal flaw. Helping everyone without actually considering if they deserve it. Maybe your mother was right, you aren’t ready for this world. But it didn’t matter. Jin needed your help, and you were going to help him. Somehow.

Looking down at Jin’s body, he was still breathing but definitely labored. You didn’t know how to help him other than try to put pressure on the wound. Recounting words from a friend, you decided that a certain god might be able to help you.

“Oh Apollo, God of Immeasurable Light, the Healer of Sickness and Diseases. Please, I ask you to heal Hades for he has done no wrong where this poison should have befallen him. Please, listen to my prayer.”

Kore, daughter of Demeter and Goddess of the Spring, flora, and fauna. You ask for too much. What has happened to Hades is of his own doing.

“Who has he hurt? Let him live and I will see to it that they are reimbursed for his sins.”

Oh, Y/N. You do not understand. He has hurt someone that is insatiable. What they want will never be allowed for.

“Who? Who has he hurt? Surely I can convince them?”

You will do it? For his life? What has he done that makes you compelled so? Saving his life is not simple. My powers may not curse you but you will be eternally bound to your duty after he has been healed.

“Do not ask a question that is none of your business. I shall complete your task when he has fully healed. Now, heal him!”

Alright. But do not beg me to undo this.

You didn’t think about what would happen to you. Hoseok was usually kind and the task would not be so heartless. You’re sure he was only being so formal because of pleasantries..right?

As you questioned your intentions, you saw that the green foam was becoming concentrated into a glass-like orb. It was the potent poison that the blade had been coated with. You carefully took it in your hand and stuffed it in one of the pockets of your dress.

Lifting Jin so that his face was facing you, you realized he was unconscious, probably from the pain. His eyebrows furrowed, and lips in a thin line made you think of how much stress he was in. But a more pressing matter plagued your mind.

Who did this to him?

After asking Thanatos for help, the two of you were able to lift Jin into his bed and let him rest there. The entire time Seokjin couldn’t bear to remove his hand from yours and you could practically see Thanatos’s eyebrows moving up and down in a suggestive manner. That god was basically a man-child at this point.

“So, what do we do?”

“We have to wait, Y/N. There’s not much else we can do.”

“Right, right..He’ll be fine, right? Like nothing will happen to him that bad, right? Maybe I should try praying to Apollo again, yeah—“

Thanatos put a hand on your shoulder to stop your rambling and look up at him. His eyes tried to tell you to stop but you could see the pity in it.

“Y/N. It’ll be okay. You did the right thing by praying to Apollo. You should probably be more worried about yourself and what duty you have to follow than Hades. Hades is the God of the Dead, he’ll be fine.”

Your heart twisted and you could feel your hands becoming clammy. You wondered why you kept feeling so anxious, hoping that it would go away if you walked around or something. You didn’t like the antsy feeling, wanting to get rid of it by all means. The duty Apollo had asked of you didn’t even register when you were praying, you just were too preoccupied with Hades almost dying.

“Right, right..But maybe I should stay here? To make sure he’s okay?”

“..It’s your choice, but don’t let it overtake you. I can’t help both of you if you collapse from exhaustion.”

“Haha, yeah..”

Thanatos disappeared quickly after, saying he had some work to do. Taking a seat, you brushed a piece of hair out of Jin’s face while trying not to disturb him in his sleep. His left hand was still holding onto yours, not letting go anytime soon. Gently trailing over his knuckles in an effort to soothe yourself and hopefully Jin, you started thinking about your stay here.

It was shit. You had been taken from your home, the Fates had told you that you got married to the God of the Underworld, who apparently was one of your oldest friends, you were stuck in a really dark palace, and now your spouse is resting in bed from almost dying. And you’re indebted to Apollo.

Great!

Swarmed with less than kind thoughts about Seokjin and how you managed to get here, you didn’t take notice of him stirring until his hand squeezed yours slightly, “Hey sleepy head..”

He blinked lethargically, raising his right hand to stretch,“..How.. how long was I out?”

“Not long, just a few hours at most. Are you feeling any better? Need anything?”

“No.. Um, why are you helping me?”

You paused, so maybe the thoughts that plagued your mind weren’t just in your head. Not knowing how to answer— because you had been beating yourself about it too— you shrugged your shoulders.

“You don’t deserve to die, no one does. The person who stabbed you.. should watch their back. I’ll personally give them the worst harvest for the rest of their life.”

Jin laughed abruptly but the pain in his chest didn’t subside, making him cough. You lifted him up more and patted him to try to calm him down, which worked for a while. The tips of his mouth were upturned, as if he didn’t just almost die, and his ears were turning red.

“I don’t understand you, Y/N and I don’t think I ever will.”

“No problem but you got to answer me this, what in the everliving Styx happened?”

Jin’s happy expression dropped for a second and you thought it was your imagination but you could feel that the atmosphere had changed quickly.

“..Humans have been starving recently, I was afraid to tell you because you have such a close connection to them.”

“So it’s not a war, like Thanatos told me?”

“…”

You sighed a shaky breath, as this majorly concerned you. Your mother was very strict in making sure everything in Spring was correctly taken care of and nothing was out of place. If it had become so bad where people were starving, well something was wrong. War wasn’t exactly starving people, sure it could lead to less food and things but the real problem here was why everyone kept hesitating to tell why this was happening. Was Zeus mad? Was Apollo mad? Who the fuck was mad to make the mortal world so bad?

“So..you’re not going to tell me who started this?”

Instead of fidgeting with your hands, you fully sat down on the bed. You looked at the bandages on his back and decided to redo them because they had already soaked through. Carefully unwrapping the bandages, you tried not to fluster at how close you had to be to unwrap the from around his body. While rewrapping the cloth and your hands were basically hugging his torso at one point to get them all the way, Jin gently put his hand on yours.

You stopped, suddenly too aware of how you were almost cuddling Jin and how he was soothingly rubbing your hands. You could already feel your face getting hot and you desperately tried to think of anything except his hard chest or his broad shoulder you kept brushing over.

“No..no, I can’t..”

You tried not to let his words have too much of an effect on you, it’s not like he couldn’t have some privacy from you. But this was different, his life was on the line a few hours ago. You hoped you would be able to persuade him later. Right now, you had a bigger responsibility to take care of. You tightened the bandages on his torso, causing him to yell in pain.

“HEY! What was that for?!”

“You’re not.. very nice, you know that?”

The moment you said the words, your entire body sagged and Jin could feel your hands slowly pulling away. But he didn’t want to let go, they were much too comforting, much too soft for him to let go of them. Jin tried to speak but your response cut him from doing so.

“Whatever, just go to sleep Jin!”

Jin heard the crack in your voice and got ashamed of himself for not being able to answer you. He didn’t want his relationship with you to be any more strained and telling you that your mom almost killed him would definitely screw it up. While your hands had stopped and your head was down, Jin slowly turned around so he could face you. You were so preoccupied with what he had said that you didn’t realize he was facing you until he cupped your cheeks.

Your eyes were glistening a little bit, which made Jin’s entire body soften and feel helpless, but you didn’t even know why. This didn’t even happen with your mother yet when Jin was hesitant to say who hurt him, you naturally started to feel sad and uncomfortable. A few tears started to fall down and Jin softened even more, wanting to try and help you or comfort you in some way. He brushed his thumb over your cheek to get rid of the tears and you closed your eyes at the movement.

“Why can’t you just tell me? Weren’t we friends once? I’m not that kid okay! I can handle it, I’m a lot stronger than I look.”

Jin’s heart breaks at your questions and he can’t even explain how the string in his heart starts to feel strained— you feel it in your own too. Taking his hands off your cheeks and holding yours, he swiftly puts a kiss to your forehead before you can even realize. It was soft but it burned into your memory. You could feel his eyes on you but the kiss was quick and yet your cheeks felt like they were on fire from the sweet gesture. If Jimin had done it, you wouldn’t have felt anything but now that Jin did it, you definitely were feeling something.

“I want to, I do! You’re not that kid anymore, you’ve definitely grown up. But, it’s complicated and you really wouldn’t believe me.”

While you were still reeling at the revelation that Jin kissed your forehead, the god in question started feeling immensely proud of how he was making you flustered. It was a much more welcomed look than you in tears, that sight would always hurt him. He smiled lightly at your shocked expression before feeling extremely drowsy from all the events.

“..I see, alright then. Tell me when we’re better friends.”

God, they’re really cute. I wonder if..

Taking another risk, Jin settled his head into your lap and you almost stopped breathing.

Never thought I’d say this but my husband is going to be the death of me.

“It’ll take a while but I will. Eventually.”

After that day, the two of you kept getting closer to each other. Whether that be when you woke up and saw that he had draped a blanket over you. Or when you found his office room, after a long time trying, and pushed his hair out of his face when you saw him trying to take a nap. You also helped redress his bandages because they seemed to wrinkle more often than usual; believing that Jin had something to do with it, you didn’t bring the question up.

Why would you not want to see your husband shirtless?

He even had another throne built for you beside his own, decorated with lighter colors which had made you laugh as it stood out so much in the dark room. The two of you would eat together in a dining room you didn’t even know existed. There were two big chairs on either side, but the table was so long so you opted to move it closer to him. Seokjin tried to play it off as if he was cool about it but on the inside he was screaming about how sweet the gesture was. At one point you even had the idea of making rings for each other. Seokjin was also the God of Wealth—since jewels are created underground— and so had an advantage, making two gold rings. While you tore a small piece of cloth of your green dress to make two cloth rings. Each of you wore both a gold and a cloth ring, symbolic for the friendship (and later love) you shared.

Once, he even showed you a large library, full of books about, death for sure but many others about adventures, myths, romances, fantasy, and some new ones about (F/G). You spent most of your time going between the bookshelves trying to find something to expand your knowledge on godly powers. For some practice with your own, you had asked Jin to get some seeds or plants down to the palace. But, the moment he did, they were instantly killed and even then, your powers couldn’t revive them.

“This is so useless!” You groaned for the umpteenth time, “How is it that my powers just disappear?”

Jin looked at you and hummed in solidarity, “I’m not sure, I’ll check the library for some books about godly powers and um, maybe Demeter..”

At the mention of your mother, you stiffened but forced yourself to loosen your limbs. You shook your head from the intrusive thoughts and nodded towards Jin, allowing him to lead the way to the library as you thought about what your mother had taught you about your powers.

They are an extension of yourself, Kore. If you’re uncomfortable, it’ll become jagged and out of control.

Jagged and out of control was certainly the emotions and atmosphere you had when you came into Hades’s palace.

You have to control your powers just like you are able to control your emotions.

Your environment is important. Olympus is not a place where your powers can work because Spring does not touch it. Only the mortal realm does.

Maybe the Underworld wouldn’t let you have powers either.

Be careful! When you get upset, those plants can grow thorns rather than flowers.

“Are you alright? You seem..disturbed.”

“Disturbed?” You came back to the present and raised your eyebrow as if the adjective Jin said was the most illogical word, “I’m fine, just a little confused.”

“Fair enough, but I think I know what book you need.”

You looked at the seemingly never ending shelves and rows of bookcases. The books in here defied time; there were section of ‘past’ books which were finished, ‘present’ books which added a new page and words every time the author wrote in real time, and ‘future’ books which had books with blank pages without titles but the date they would be finished was already printed on the cover. It was magnificent, you could find any book and read it as it was being written, and if you cracked the intense magic that protected the books, you could even read the literature that hadn’t even been written yet.

“Which?”

Jin sighed, running his fingers through his hair and taking one look at the library before fixing on you, “It’s in the past section which is good but the title escapes me, probably having something about godly power or an index of their abilities.”

“Who wrote that?”

“Athena, she’s a bit too enthusiastic when it comes to things like this.”

“..Did you just call Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom, a nerd?”

“Well-I mean..am I wrong?”

You laughed loudly, echoing across the long walls and between shelves. Your head tipped back and your arms hugged yourself to keep your frame from shaking. Jin’s ears turned red with embarrassment, for he had no idea why you were laughing so much. To be honest, you couldn’t either. It was just so funny that one of the most formal of gods talked so normally, a happy accident truly.

“It’s alright,” You were still giggled a little bit and by this time Jin was chuckling too, “Let’s go find this book. Split up?”

Jin nodded and went to the right part of the ‘past’ section while you headed over to the left. The two of you looked at the titles of each book but none of the key words or phrases in them matched. The search seemed useless.

Seokjin couldn’t find anything in his section, and even after having several ghost servants to help him— Thanatos showed up for a few minutes too— there was nothing to be found. Deciding that working together or at least being in the same company as you would be more beneficial then the current strategy, he headed to you.

You weren’t having any luck either, but hearing footsteps, your mood turned for the better. After spending some time with your husband, you had realized he had a lot of endearing qualities to him. He always took care of you when you were missing home, opting to bring fake flowers, like the silver one from your first day here, that wouldn’t die but would remind you of your home back in the mortal realm. They were delicate all the same, but you liked holding them and imagining yourself back in those fields.

You missed it, a lot. You missed your mother even more.

But you couldn’t deny that Jin’s company wasn’t delightful. He never made you do anything or feel afraid, his presence was calming and when you were together, the string in your hearts felt connected and alive. The two of you were unfortunately way too shy to admit it but, there was definitely some sort of love between you two. The way your heart soared when looking at each other or laughing at the most unfunny jokes. You hadn’t missed the red ears he had when you complimented him and he definitely didn’t miss your stuttering when he called you loving names in front of his servants or the inevitable mortal or “hero” who wanted something from Jin.

Since gods were not permitted to directly help mortals, often blessed or favored mortals called heroes emerged. They were given unimaginable powers and strength to fight off evil monsters or save villages. Once a man endowed with superhuman musical skills came to the two of you, asking for help. His singing moved the ghost servants and the gray horses that were outside the palace. The two of you were no match either.

“Oh God who rules the dark and silent Underworld,” The man sang with his lyre, tears in his eyes, “I beg you to help me. All lovely things at last go down to you. But I seek one who came to you too soon. The bud was plucked before the flower bloomed. I tried to bear my loss. I could not bear it.”

Seokjin knew that Orpheus was seeking out his wife, Eurydice, and the prominent aspects of love in the song tightened the string in his heart. While Orpheus sang for his dead wife’s revival, he glanced at your face and the refusal suddenly got stuck in his throat.

You looked longingly at Orpheus as his song for Eurydice’s freedom made you feel drowsy and heartbroken. Here was a newlywed couple, both full of joy that they could marry the person of their dreams, but then disaster struck. The woman had unfortunately died on their wedding day and here was her husband, traveling fearlessly through the depths of hell to beg for her back— all for love. A few tears escaped your eyes as the desire to resonate with the man was so strong. You wanted to feel as loved as Eurydice did, wanted someone to love you as strong as Orpheus did for her. Did Hades even know what love meant?

Seokjin could feel your pain, the string that connected your hearts often shared those strong emotions. He liked sharing the happy ones, when you were laughing at something he said or smiling brightly because of his cheesy and old fashioned jokes. Not because you didn’t feel loved. It was breaking his heart to know that you wanted to feel this love and despite his own insecurities of being unlovable, he promised himself that he would love you fully. He would love you as much and more than Orpheus loved his wife, and even more than that. Seokjin felt so heartbroken that you didn’t feel loved already and made it his mission to show you just how much he cared.

“My love is too strong. So I beg of you, King of the Dead,” Orpheus was on his knees and looked at only Jin, “Help me so that I may hold my Eurydice!”

Seokjin raised his eyebrows by the blatant disrespect that Orpheus showed by ignoring you completely. You most likely did not notice it but the clear distinction the man had from you and him was a glaring red flag. But Seokjin could also sense that you were too swept up with the song that you would want to see the couple reunited despite the rudeness.

You put your hands on the hand-rests of your throne to lift yourself up when Seokjin put his hand on yours to stop you. Setting yourself back down, you looked in confusion up to him whose eyes did not stray from the man in front of him. Although Orpheus’s story was tragic, he had heard of many before. As the overseer of the Underworld, his heart had to be hard as steel, and so it was— until you of course. You had softened him by doing practically nothing, but the thought of you continued to melt him. Many mortals had approached Hades to beg for loved ones back and all requests were always refused. No doubt, Orpheus' music was sweet and very moving, but the look in your eyes and tears that dropped down your cheeks were much more convincing; anything to see his wife happy.

Seokjin slowly rubbed your knuckles before finally answering Orpheus, “Your music is ever so moving, but you must know that many couples have begged for their lovers before. I have refused all.”

At the statement, you had gasped and swerved your head to your husband trying to comprehend how someone could refuse so many heartbroken lovers. Orpheus is distraught and close to sobbing harder, dropping his lyre to the ground. But ignoring it all, Seokjin gently chuckles at your expression and strokes your cheek.

“However..” Seokjin starts with a twinkle in his eye.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you ask, “However?”

“To my right side is Persephone, Goddess of the Spring, flora, and fauna. She is my equal, my other half, and the love of my life. Her presence moves me to help you more than your music. For that, I shall grant you your wish of seeing Eurydice again.”

There is that familiar blush Seokjin has witnessed almost everyday, that adorns your cheeks again. Your eyes bulged out at his words and you couldn’t help but lean over to his throne and kiss his cheek in appreciation. He snickers lightly but in reality, his heart almost beat out of his chest. He’s as smitten with you as you are with him. A loveless King had turned sweet for his Queen.

But Orpheus does not seem to care for the intimate words between the two of you. For he seems angry, possibly envious of the love you two share, and resentful that his music that could move rocks on every hillside and turn the course of all rivers was nothing compared to what you could do. The loving look you two shared made him more furious that Eurydice was not beside him at the very instant. Unfortunately, having such wonderful musical abilities often followed with instant compliments and help. For that praise to be lacking from the Gods hurt Orpheus’s pride, and would eventually lead to his demise.

Orpheus snatched his lyre from the floor and said, “My music.. did not move you? I am appalled.”

You tilt your head in confusion, still with a smile on your face you turn to face the man. Seokjin looks at you when you ask, “Appalled? What for?”

“How has a whore been able to influence you, my King?”

At the comment, your smile falters and you see Jin’s eyes light up with the purple fire you saw when you met him. But instead of being a warm, welcoming and even comforting flame, it is chaotic, burning, and seething. He doesn’t need to see your face to see the crestfallen look, but instead whirled around to walk towards Orpheus. Jin’s anger was immeasurable and Orpheus was alarmed at how his eyes seem to flicker brighter with every passing moment. Glowering down at the man, the god was Hades, not the Jin you were used to. His eyes flashed and Orpheus saw every moment in his life up to then and what looked like an older version of himself. Only later would he realize that the God of the Dead had shown him his life in only a few flashes to humble him of his worth and his insignificance.

Realizing that the man may be scorched by your husband’s anger alone, you gracefully walked up to them. Your presence eased Orpheus’s mind for a split second before his eyes flickered back to Jin’s, it was obvious that Jin would not back down. Showing disrespect to you would result in nothing less than banishment to the Mourning Fields of unrequited love for the rest of eternity, or even a trip to Tartarus, the deepest abyss known to all deities.

But he really should have paid more attention to the scowl on your lips.

You spoke with a steely, calm tone, but it reeked of annoyance, “Who are you, a trivial, fleeting thought for me, a Goddess? You are nothing. Mind your tongue and consider yourself lucky that I do not turn you into a corn plant right here.”

After summoning Eurydice with a wave of your hand, you continued, “As you ascend, do not look back as she follows you. Like the explicit disrespect you showed me today, I will take Eurydice away from you.You will lead a desolate and lonely life, as your music will never be heard again.”

Without waiting for a response, you sent the two on your way and sat back down on your throne. Jin sat next to you in utter disbelief and awe of how you commanded respect in the room. He would tease you about it later but it truly showed you how the two of you were so interconnected with one another. Many other challengers would come to try their luck with the softened God, but he didn’t accept all of them— only the ones that you also approved of.

“Hey,” Seokjin started and you only just noticed how dangerously close he was to your face, “Is everything okay? You zoned out for a while.”

Coming back to the present, you realized that you were still in the library trying to find a book to help you with your powers. You had opened one that was clearly not what you were looking for, as the title had something related to (F/G) instead of godly powers. Snapping the book abruptly shut, dust swept up into the air and you coughed up a bit. Seokjin leaned away while you put the book back into its rightful place and tried to clear the air.

You sighed, “I haven’t been able to find anything even remotely related to what we were searching for.”

“It’s alright,” Jin said as he placed a hand on your shoulder in comfort, “I haven’t either. Maybe we should look for a book about you specifically.”

“Me? You think I would be in a book?”

“Well, you are the Goddess of Spring.” He chuckled and patted your head, “Pretty sure that’s important, baby.”

“Did you just call me..?”

“Shit, I didn’t know if nicknames were okay. Are they okay? I’m guessing they’re not okay? Are you not okay with them? Can I call you something else? Should I just stick to Y/N? Or Persephone? Wait, what about Kore? Or is that only reserved—”

You stopped his rambling by grabbing his hand and interlocking them. Looking up to gauge his reaction, you were pleasantly surprised to see that his mouth was upturned and he tried to turn away from your gaze.

“It’s perfectly fine, my love.” With your term of endearment, Jin groaned and shook his head, “Now what should we do next?”

“I call you something cute like baby and you call me my love? Are you trying to open up my wounds?”

“I’m sure your heart will stay intact, what you should be more worried about is your lips!”

“..My lips?!”

You giggled at his star struck expression before you realized that you may have come of as too strong. Deep in thought, you caress his hand with your thumb before grabbing the black feather necklace he’s always worn. It takes Seokjin by surprise and he leans towards you, his face only a few inches from touching yours. His eyes flicker to your lips then back to your eyes and your smile slowly relaxes. He subconsciously licks his lips, and you were so close to just capturing them but you think again.

Did he want you as much as you did?

Seokjin could cut the tension with a knife, and he was going crazy not being able to kiss your lips. He internally groaned because his shy side was poking at him to run away and hide in a corner while the confident side of him wanted to do nothing but kiss you.

God he wanted you, he hoped you did too.

“Can I kiss you, Jin?”

“Please do, you’re going to kill me if you don’t.”

“I think I’ll kill you either way, I’m a pretty good kisser.”

His eyes fluttered closed, and then your lips were on his. Unlike you had imagined— because yes, you had been dreaming for this for a while— he tasted like nothing but everything at the same time. Fireworks and bursts of warmth burned in your hearts and the string in your chest seemed to tie with Jin’s. Your arms wrapped around his neck and he gripped your waist, the both of you wanted to get as close as possible. You let go of each other eventually, and could only stare at each other in awe of what you had done. Glancing at his ears, you immediately grinned seeing them completely red and his flushed expression. Not that you were doing any better, the color tint on your lips was smudged and your chest heaved as you tried to catch your breath. It may have been your first kiss but it definitely would not be your last.

You eventually found the book you were looking for in the first place and Jin would help you control your powers until you could blossom flowers and fruits from the dead seeds he brought when he would go back up. It was a team effort and it definitely earned you some kisses whenever you were successful.

Almost six months had passed since your arrival in the Underworld. After Hades was poisoned, he did not show up to the meetings in Olympus, believing that he knew he was not welcome. Nor would he be able to clearly face Demeter, his mother-in-law, and not absolutely go ballistic. The love for his wife had increased one hundred fold since the last time he saw Demeter and any type of insult to how he cared for her daughter would surely set the deadly side of him off.

But many things happened in the mortal realm. Orpheus looked back at his wife just as the two were leaving the Underworld, and he would live in eternal sadness without his other half. The rest of the mortal realm was not faring well either. While the two newlywed Gods were happy, things like famine, drought, and death plagued mortals. Spring had not come, but was replaced with a harsh, cold winter. Diseases and frostbite was common since Demeter had no intention of changing the season until her daughter was back at her side. Since Hades was not the bringer of Death (Thanatos was), his job was maintaining a record of who died, was alive, and where they would spend their rest of their lives in.

The Fields of Punishment for eternal torture or The Fields of Elysium for rebirth?

The paperwork was clogging up as Hades had renounced his duty and was so lost in his love for his wife, that he only tended to his wife’s needs and taught their three-headed dog Cerberus how to fetch a bone of some unfortunate skeleton than anything else. At one point, your Seokjin had even gifted you a garden full of pomegranate trees, the only real plant that could successfully grow in the Underworld, to you as a sign of his love for you. You were overjoyed by the garden but he had warned you about something, but it all fell on deaf ears.

“You’re kidding..Jin!” You gasped, twirling around and noticing all the blossoming flowers and the vibrant colored plants in your garden.

“It’s for you,” Seokjin looked at you lovingly, seeing you so happy and bright made his heart and face glow too, “An entire garden of pomegranates for you. But be careful alright? They have powers that can make you stay here. So don’t eat them or then—”

“Mhmm.”

“You’ll stay here for that many months and I doubt that your mother—”

“Yeah, yeah, enough talk! Oooh, that one looks pretty.”

Seokjin’s face softened at your giddy expression and he couldn’t help but admire you from afar. But as he realized what your true intentions with the fruit were, he became worried.

“Y/N, wait! Don’t—”

Before Seokjin could finish his sentence, there you were, grabbing a pomegranate that split open with a gentle, magical prod by your finger. You took twelve seeds and threw them into your mouth with a smile on your face. Looking towards Seokjin, or at least where he was last, you saw that his eyes flamed with purple. He looked terrified.

Before you could even bite one of them, Jin was kissing you feverishly. His lips molded against yours and before you could blink, the gentle but insistent press of his hand on your waist made you part your mouth. He slipped his tongue past your own lips and while you were too distracted by the passion behind his actions, he had another thing to worry about. Finally when you parted, both of your lips were stained red with pomegranate juice and were breathing heavily.

Still reeling and drunk on his lips, you only barely noticed his frown and furrowed eyebrows. Jin licked his lips and you blinked slowly before wondering what he could possibly be thinking about. On your end, you definitely enjoyed that heated makeout session, and you were pretty sure his urgency was a good sign.

“Fuck, only got six seeds out,” Jin cursed, before looking at your satisfied expression, “You still ate the other six!”

“Uh, what?” You said lethargically, holding on to Jin’s arms to balance yourself.

“I tried to warn you that pomegranate seeds are dangerous, Y/N! If you had eaten all twelve of the seeds, you would have stayed in the Underworld for all twelve of the months in the year.”

Jin cupped your cheek and sighed, “I tried to kiss you to take them out but I only ate six so you still ate the other six. Now you’ll have to stay with me for half the year.”

“What? That doesn’t sound bad at all! I’m not regretting that kiss because, wow Jin you really know how to kiss someone, but I feel like I should have eaten all of them. What’s so wrong with being bound to you for all eternity?”

Everything, Jin wanted to say. But he could not get his lips to move for the breathless expression you had was too alluring. He stroked your cheek and wished that he could stay by your side but he knew that would not be good. While his ghost servants, Thanatos, and surely all the other Gods in Olympus believed that Seokjin had completely forgotten about his duties, he had not. He was too swept up with the thought of you to do anything about it but he knew that the mortal world was failing.

“It might be safer.”

“Bullshit! I would be much safer, here, with you.”

“I’m the God of the Dead, I doubt your mother wants a son-in-law like me.”

“And? She’s not married to you.”

“My kingdom, it stinks of death. You’ve lived all your life with the beauty of life, are you sure?”

“More than sure, my King. This kingdom is also mine.” You smirked, putting your hands on your hips, waiting for the next thing you would defend.

“The deaths that our love has caused? I’m sure Thanatos has slipped that by now.”

“He has! But what happens to mortals is not our fault, that’s someone else’s fault.”

He knew that. But he also knew that while he was in that poisoned, dying state, you had prayed to Apollo for help. Jin cursed himself for not being stronger so that you would not be indebted to the Hoseok, but he could not change the past. In his own time, Jin had asked Apollo for what you would have to do, and the answer made him scared beyond belief.

“She must go back home, that is her duty.”

“Home? Hoseok..”

“You and I both know that Demeter is mourning for Persephone. Without her daughter, she has put an eternal blanket of winter on the mortal lands. Even Hestia’s hearth in Olympus flickers away at times.”

“She won’t leave, Y/N will be suspicious of my intentions. She’s not some dumb deity that is oblivious to everything around her, she will ask why I am making her do this. I cannot do this.”

“Then lie to her. Tell Persephone that Demeter asks for her or that the mortal world is falling. Or better yet, betray her—”

“I cannot— no, I..I can’t.”

“Please, for the sake of Demeter and the sake of all mortals, force her back. If you must trick her into thinking you don’t..care for her— do it. Even Namjoon has tried convincing Demeter, she won’t budge.”

It was heartbreaking for him to know that Seokjin would have to hurt you like that. But he couldn’t allow himself to go against your duty and responsibility as the bringer of Spring and life. Your mother would not budge without seeing you, it was stated by the Fates too. Maybe if he betrayed you, then you would be safer and wouldn’t be with such a wretched god like himself.

Who was he kidding?

The God of the Dead with the Goddess of Life? It seemed like a cruel joke, especially because of how much he adored you.

Not wanting to worry you, Seokjin kissed your forehead and smiled as best he could. He realized that this might be the last time he could be honest with you, and so took off his black feather necklace and placed it on your neck. You grinned and pecked him on the lips.

“Maybe you’re right, Y/N.”

The Underworld had only one connection to the living world and that was by a boat ride on the River Styx with the reaper of souls. Unless you could play music, then you might be able to charm your way through like Orpheus, but even that was unlikely. In that sense, there are a few ways to get to the underworld but for a normal person, it was impossible.

But you were far from normal.

You were the Queen of the Underworld, Persephone or Y/N, alongside your king, Hades or Seokjin. It was nice having a title to yourself and not Kore, which was just ‘maiden’. It was yours and you loved it.

You couldn’t feel the sunshine on your face, the dewy breeze of a spring morning, the crisp droplets from a rainy night, nor anything else that you usually felt. Only the emptiness from the souls that were reaped, dying to be put back into the world above. But even that beautiful to you, the beauty of death often allured you. The dead stayed dead but even some of them were happy to leave their suffering above.

You wondered why your Jin had taken you for a walk around his palace, he hadn’t spoken a word to you the entire time either. Thinking it was just him being a little distant, you didn’t find anything weird. Seokjin wasn’t the most extroverted so instead of getting caught up with what his silence may have meant, you instead thought about the events that had happened in the last few months. Things had moved so fast, almost as if to compensate for your still life with your mother.

Originally, you had felt that she had done nothing but kept you inside like a prisoner but now you could clearly see why. The way Jin treated you was the biggest indication but you’ve realized your self-worth. You matter to both the mortal world and the Underworld, you’re a powerful Goddess, and you feel lucky that your first love was such a sweet, kind man. Mom wasn’t trying to force you into solitude, but she never trusted any of the Gods in Olympus and that’s why you didn’t even live up there anymore. It wasn’t like she forced you to stay home but the restrictions and ‘protection’ she gave was stifling.

You missed her so much. You missed the sunshine and you missed picking flowers and making flower crowns. You missed feeling the grass underneath your feet and how the Spring would hug your body.

You closed your eyes while taking a large breath in before opening them and smiling, anyone looking at you would have wondered in curiosity or more so horror. Who would smile in the Underworld?

You.

You would, for multiple reasons but mostly because it was more of a home that any place you had lived before. You looked at your bare feet and the black rocks beneath it. They were sharp unlike the grass above, but there was no pain due to the increase in your powers. Having always walked through fields and meadows, you were used to walking without any protection on your feet— though scorned and scolded by your mother.

“Jin, where are you taking me?” You asked at last, giggling a little but your patience running thin.

Seokjin did not answer nor did he move his head in your direction. He kept walking with longer strides, heading to the River Lethe. You had hated that river, a river to make those who touched it forget their memory. You had always expressed your disgust with the concept but Jin usually just laughed at the thought.

“You are the Queen of the Underworld, love.” He said, with a slight smirk on his face.

Jin cradled your chin and looked into your (E/C) eyes with a softness the other gods would’ve laughed and mocked. The god of the Underworld, your Hades, was happy and smiling with such adoration at your face that your cheeks started to heat up. You were a goddess but that didn’t prevent your heart from twisting when he said such sweet words.

He closed his eyes and touched your foreheads together, saying, “You shouldn’t be afraid of it, not when it’s yours.”

You smiled, closing your eyes and reaching out to hold his face in your hands. You weren’t afraid. As long as Jin was there with you.

You remembered the moments that you shared, when you’d be paranoid about your identity and your husband would reassure you that you did have a place in his— our world— he would say. That you were in the right place. A lot of things had happened in the past six months. But none of that could have prepared you for your husband’s next words.

“..You need to leave.”

“What? Seokjin, this isn’t the time to make jokes.”

“I’m serious, leave.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, you felt dizzy, as if the entire world was spinning. You couldn’t breathe for a moment, and then you took a shaky breath in before shaking your head in dismay, smiling to try and fight the large tears in your eyes.

But he continued, “This..isn’t right, your mother was right. We can’t be together.”

Your mother had warned you to not fall for such a man. Yet you had, for a man that you believed loved you back— no he loved you. A few tears rolled down your cheeks and you hurried to brush them away. You walked slowly towards your husband, your bare feet scraping against the dark rocks and your fern green dress trailed behind you.

You held out your hands in a comforting manner, trying to hold your beloved in your arms. In an instant, he shoved them away with his hand, his knuckles scraping against your arms. You winced but held your ground. “What are you saying? My mother was..right? Right about what?”

Jin’s resolve could have broken right there, but he stayed true to what he was told to do. He had to do this quick, or the tears in his eyes would fall and there would be no way to send you away. It hurt every fibre in his body to know that you were hurting because of him.

You looked up to try and find some sort of sign in Jin’s eyes, only to be met with dark purple ones— the very same that burned Orpheus only a few months ago. They looked empty yet were surrounded by that fire you hated.

“She told me this would never work out. And then poisoned me.”

You shook your head again, chuckling softly to yourself, trying to convince that this wasn’t true. You tried to speak confidently, but your voice started to shake after seeing his entire form move away from you.

“Do you truly think I’m so stupid to believe that lie? My mother may be overprotective of me and may have said this wouldn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean you should listen to her! And she would never hurt a God.”

At your words, Seokjin gets uncharacteristically angry at you, “She almost killed me and you defend her? Before me? When I have protected you—”

“Protected me from what?! Orpheus?! I am a Goddess, I do not need your protection!”

“You don’t need my protection?! Then leave! Stay with that mother of yours, even though we both know I’ve shown you more care than she ever will.”

He stated, turning his back to you and chucking the gold ring into the River Lethe. His ashy gray coat that covered his shoulders fell to the ground, at the feet of his dark robes. He didn’t even flinch, a tell-tale sign of him teasing or lying to you.

He wanted to forget you.

“Please,” You reasoned, “don’t send me away for such a stupid argument.”

“You’re right, I won’t be. You’ll leave on your own because you don’t belong here.”

Only then did you break into full sobs, you fell to the ground, clutching your heart in pain. This wet anger made you curse the Fates. Why did you have to be so weak in front of him?

You couldn’t believe it, the one man you had ever loved, threw you away. As if all the kind words, light kisses, and soft touches were worthless. He had lavished you with affection, even in front of disapproving others. From the day he unknowingly rescued you from a hell to now, he had always looked at you like you were his world.

You hadn’t said a word the night you had left with him, too much in shock with your future. But you couldn’t bare to let yourself ask him to take you back.

Anywhere was better than up there.

You had foolishly thought. And during that time you stayed with him. Fell in love. Thinking you would finally get a happy ending, one where the love of your life loved you back.

“Goodbye,” He stated, without looking back at you. All you could see was his tall figure in front of you before you disappeared. He was standing in front of your home. Or what you thought was. But home is where the heart is.

And yours was shattered.

He snapped his fingers and you were gone in a puff of dark black smoke. The feather on the black necklace that he once wore so diligently close to his chest, vanished with you. There was silence in his world for a few moments, after long months of happiness and joy. The flames in his eyes faded, for how could he be angry?

He had just screamed at the one he loved most.

“..Y/N.”

You didn’t see the tears that fell from his eyes without stopping, wetting his cheeks and the ground in front of him. You didn’t see how his shoulders shook with the thought of your absence. You didn’t see him scramble from his hunched position to the River Lethe. You didn’t see him dive in to try and find his ring and realize that it vanished. His legs started to burn from the river’s powers but he stayed in it, thinking that this was nothing to what he deserved. The green cloth ring that you had once put for him, kissing his hand and saying your vows with a happy voice, was still on his finger.

“I’ll stay with you, Seokjin, as long as you want me to. For you are my friend, my companion, and my truest love. I trust you.”

You didn’t see how broken he was when he came back to the palace only to collapse in front of your shared bed and scream until his throat went dry. You didn’t see that his heart was shattered too.

It wasn’t long until you made it back to the meadow, a small walk away from your mother’s palace in the mortal realm. It was dark, and you felt no sun on you. It was a different type of dark, rather than being ominous and mysterious, it held a type of serenity you weren’t ready for. But looking around, you felt empty.

The meadow was covered with some sort of cold, white fluff (snow, you would later find out) that pinched your toes. The once vibrant meadow, filled with plants of different colors and sizes, no longer welcomed you. The soft grass between your toes was now frozen ground and had grown into a long grass that reached your chest.

The world around you was imprisoned in a deafening silence, nothing was awake, nothing sang. The nightingales and woodpeckers were silent, there was nothing. It felt like the world above had stopped living the moment you left. Gashing winds had stripped the once bright green leaves from the trees, leaving them vulnerable and groaning from the cold.

You had never seen such coldness, felt such coldness.

Where am I?

The dark green dress you wore held up well, while the Underworld did not have as the biting cold as you experienced now, it was too similar for you to believe that you had really left there.

The stars twinkled sadly, as if crying out for someone. The moon waned brilliantly and yet everything felt dull. While this world seemed beautiful when you first entered, even though goosebumps had erupted on your limbs, it felt colder than you think it should have. The loneliness you felt was something you had never felt before, nor did you want to. The trees moved as if mourning and you felt like it was your death they were mourning.

Was this why people were dying..?

“..Kore?”

You turned around. Squinting to see the far-away figure, you realized it was your mother with her (H/C) hair in long locks, tumbling down her back— an unusual sight as she hated keeping her hair down— but she was hesitant to come to your side. She was looking at you differently, like she used to when you were a child. Not like how she pretended to when you got older but different. Better.

Like a mother should.

“Mom..” You whispered, but she heard it.

A flowing stream of tears started down Demeter’s face, and she made no move to wipe them away. Demeter held a hand out to her daughter, silently calling out to her. You slowly walked through the field to your mother’s side until finally putting her chin on her mother’s outstretched arm. As you saw your mother’s happy expression, you started to shakily smile and a few of her own tears started to drip down your cheek. Demeter stroked her daughter’s cheek and kissed your forehead in joy.

The mother and daughter were finally reunited.

Quickly after you reunited with your mother, she interlocked your hand and led you back to the palace. Your home. But even saying that had a sour taste in your mouth, because all you could remember was the dark walls and soft smiles of your husband. The walls of your room were just as blindingly white and clean and smooth as you remembered it. But, you remembered what you used to think in the Underworld. As much as you had loved it and the people who came with it, it wasn’t what you were used to. You loved the mortal realm much, much more, and finally seeing the lush vegetation wherever you walked, the pretty flowers sprinkled here and there, the ponds of clear water, and the countless species of animals was both a shock and a blessing.

A few days after you arrived, the winter and snow that had swept through the mortal realm was finally vanquished. Your mother held your hand and simply waved her hand, causing Spring to come back to the world. She was glowing, much more than before you left. You wanted to both strangle her and hug her.

You even asked her about the poisoned dagger and she confirmed what he had said, she did poison him. It made your stomach squeeze and feeling uncharacteristically angry and snappy, you conveyed your concerns to your mother, but she didn’t brush it off like you had feared.

“Mom, I won’t get mad if you tell me the truth.” You sighed out one night.

Demeter raised her eyebrows and laughed merrily, “Oh? This is new Kore, usually I would say that when you were younger!”

Your throat was feeling dry and scratchy but you pressed, “Heh, right, um. Did you.. poison him?”

“Don’t speak of that monster! I—”

“Whether you did or not, please answer me.”

Demeter looked at her only daughter. Her wonderfully talented, intelligent, witty, and beautiful daughter. She couldn’t imagine the emotional manipulation that she went through in the Underworld. Demeter wanted her daughter back and she was afraid of how you changed. That time when you were gone was over.

“Please, Mom.”

Your eyes pleaded and shined in the moonlight and even Demeter couldn’t hold back, “I didn’t have a choice. Even Zeus approved of it, but you have to realize that you were gone.” She poked your chest with your finger and you felt small, like a mouse in the presence of a hawk.

“I didn’t even know where you were and to learn that, the God of the Underworld had taken you..It wasn’t okay and I’m glad that you’re back. That’s all that matters now, don’t worry about it, okay? You’re safe.”

Demeter combed through your hair and smiled at you but her eyes didn’t crinkle up like usual and you knew that she wanted this conversation to be over. But you’d test her limits.

You continued, “But it could’ve killed him, Mom.”

“And?!”

Demeter didn’t miss the flinch at the raise of her tone and she instantly regretted her actions. She didn’t want to be like her siblings, loveless of their children and so enraptured by mortals. But at the same time, she wanted to protect you. Why couldn’t you see that she didn’t want someone like the God of the Dead, an emotional manipulator and kidnapper, to be any of your concern. It tore her heart in two.

“You are the most important part in my life, I used to only live for you. Obviously, that doesn’t mean your life should revolve around me but you were kidnapped!”

“It was Namjoon’s fault though, he told him that we wanted this.”

“You’re right, Zeus is just as punishable for this crime. But if he wanted your hand so much he could have easily come to us formally. Where was the need to capture you like that? None.”

But that wasn’t it either. Sure, you were upset that Seokjin had taken you away. Sure, that seemed logical from your mother’s perspective, realistic. But that’s not what happened. Namjoon was a drunk idiot and had told Seokjin a lie which caused all of this. But even with that figured out, you were still angry that you didn’t see the color black more often or you didn’t have a library full of books to read, or someone that would keep your head in their lap as you slept.

You missed him the most, and that’s why it hurt the most.

No, you repeat to yourself, You aren’t going to be caught down by someone you’ve only known for a few months. You’re better than this, Y/N.

So you busy yourself with other things that need your attention, like the new plants that are popping up in villages. It helps with the loneliness that seems to have taken you captive, even though your mother smothers you with affection. She wanted to celebrate the way you’ve finally come back to her, from that monster.

The new plants seem to have medicinal properties and you keep record of them in a small journal. In the same journal, you’ve been writing down your feelings as a way to cope with the environment changes. You’ve been liking the cool shade and swift breezes that come rather than the blinding sun that you were so used to. You often nestle between a few apricot trees, and would stare blankly at the fruit. It was so close to pomegranates but entirely different. The red color hurt and even the nymphs could see it, often asking you to pluck flowers with them far, far away.

Jimin visits you and the two of you spend an entire day in each other’s company. He talks about how he wasn’t able to visit you in the Underworld and missed you. You find comfort in his words and you confess that you miss Seokjin. Terribly. He’s the only person you have that won’t go to your mother and snitch on you.

“It hurts, Jimin. But I am afraid that you.. will not like what I have to say.”

“What does, Y/N? Don’t be afraid.”

“My heart..it misses him so much.”

Jimin had furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, he couldn’t understand why you would miss such a horrible God. He tried to comfort you about the matter, but it was stiff and rehearsed. When you had cried yourself to sleep that night, Jimin had quietly snuck out of your door only to see Demeter wiping her tears. Your mother had heard your pleas and she broke.

Why did you have to love such a disgusting monster?

Six months have passed and the world has been recovering. You don’t forget the black feather necklace on your neck and almost daily, you rub it to make sure it’s still with you. Your mother had asked what it was and Jimin had saved you before you could stutter out a response, saying he gifted it as nostalgia for being nicknamed pretty bird. Even the rings you had were considered a gift from other gods.

Demeter had looked at you in fear but hid her emotions well enough with a smile that you thought she wouldn’t ask again. She didn’t.

Seokjin couldn’t bear it anymore. Ever since you had left, his heart was heavy with the fact that he had pushed you away. Not even telling you anything and you just had to go.

Thanatos could see that his friend was drowning himself in his work, checking and double checking who were coming into the Underworld. Even Cerberus was ignoring Hades in fear of making him angrier. The dead souls rarely would see their king and while that usually did not worry many, those in Elysium were confused. Sometimes the two of you would visit their houses and get togethers, and even then they could make out his lovestruck expression whenever you talked. He looked at you like you were the moon, made of wonder and beauty, and had painted the stars in his world with small kisses.

Thanatos has gotten angry at Seokjin and forced him out of the palace, locking his office to be extra sure. Walking around aimlessly, everything in the palace reminded him of you. When you would walk next to him and talk about the most useless topics, it was the first time he noticed the sharp rocks on the floor. Instead of creating shoes or anything that a logical God would’ve done, he offered to let you get on his back while you walked. At your shocked expression, he was sure he embarrassed himself more than he thought was possible. But you quickly grinned and jumped onto his back while he held on tight to your legs to keep you steady.

At the memory, Seokjin smiled bitterly and scoffed at the tears that escaped. He wished he was stronger. You were probably going through something a hundred times worse, the love of your life just randomly banishing you must have hurt.

It was to protect her.

Either way, it made him curse out the Fates for even allowing him to meet you once. It wasn’t fair, for either of you. He even cursed his brother Namjoon, he would never listen to his brother again. It wasn’t fair.

The pomegranate trees in front of him made him stop. He wanted to break down in tears and throw his life away for what he had done to you. The brightest red fruit was on the lowest branch, but it was open. With twelve seeds missing, Seokjin shook with fear.

Six months was almost up.

You walked through the meadow, somehow leaving the safety of the nymphs that followed you on Demeter’s request, and brushing through the flowers. You twirled around, feeling free for once. Not in a palace, under someone’s watchful eye or endearing gaze. You loved both of them dearly, but it was hard for Kore, the Goddess of flora, and fauna to be expected to stay in the same place. You felt lost everywhere but here, with nature, was where you felt at peace. There was some substance in what your mother said. Nonetheless, your duty as Persephone, Goddess and Queen of the Underworld, stayed the same. You would have to leave soon, but that made your stomach twist and turn.

While preoccupied with your thoughts, you failed to notice the grass parting behind you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw something long shoot through the field. You froze, knowing that it was too late to move and your body felt on edge, the feather on your neck started to heat up and become uncomfortable. Another quick movement and—

THUD!

Something grabbed your arms and the intense motion made your eyes squeeze shut. You were shaking, and spots danced behind your eyes. It took you a few moments to realize who had grabbed you, and now shielded, sporting an all-too familiar clothing color palette.

“..Jin,” You whispered breathlessly, “You’re here.”

Worlds away from each other, lifetimes away, or in different versions of reality, Seokjin heard your words as if it burned in his mind, clear as day, your presence bringing him back to life. You could only stare at him as he stroked your cheek, probably because there was some dirt on it because you had fallen asleep on the crumbling soil before walking around.

“I ask you to go away,” He starts calmly, looking at your dumbstruck expression “And you actually left, huh?”

Your growing smile for him saving you quickly falls and you roll your eyes with a hard frown on your lips. You push him away in annoyance and hurt, and walk away from him with your arms crossed. You tried to tamp down your irritation but you were fed up with Gods trying to take your life and just throw it around.

“Why,” You asked, seething with anger, “did you come here?”

You didn’t even turn around but with the way your fists were clenched, Seokjin knew that you were not feeling happy about his presence. Better than utter despair that he had thought of, you hitting and being angry at him was infinitely times better than you being sad.

“That snake wasn’t any ordinary one. I..” Seokjin said slowly, looking back at the dead reptile, “I was cursed by a God once that I wouldn’t be able to protect someone I loved from one of my own. And well, snakes are my sacred animal so..”

“So you think that I needed your protection again?”

Seokjin felt at odds with your response. Of course you could protect yourself, it was just his wish that you didn’t have to. That he could do so instead. He knew you were smarter than you let on, you knew exactly why he had sent you away and were angry why he couldn’t have just communicated it.

“I’m sorry,” He relented, putting a hand on your shoulder before you brush it off, “I was rude and disrespectful. You didn’t deserve that. I thought that you would leave and I was scared what would happen if you didn’t. The mortal world was dying—”

“So? I would’ve come up if you had just told me! It’s really not that hard,” You finally faced him, “especially when you’re supposed to be trying to be everything that my mother thinks you are, you shouldn’t have shouted.”

“Well.. you shouted too.”

“Yeah, to make sure I was heard over your voice!”

“I just wanted to protect you.”

Of course he was. Even when you had snapped at him, he was protecting you. Seokjin had promised you that he always would take care of you, and here he was, doing just that. The more you thought about the day you were forced to leave, you realized that Seokjin had tears in his eyes.

“I know but, there’s better ways to do it.”

Seokjin’s voice wavered with sadness, “I hope that you can forgive me for the stupid things I said. I promise I’ll work harder to show you that I deserve to be your partner and that I can take care of you.”

He was scared, afraid of your reaction and how you might refuse him outright. A figure in the distance, behind Jin, captures your attention and you’re thinking of them while Jin continues.

“I wanted to make your garden a little prettier,” He admitted, his thumb stroking your finger were both the golden ring and your makeshift cloth one was tied together, “I added flowers and different fruits that reminded me of your aura. But much of them are made of jewels since, well, you know, you can’t have live plants in the Underworld.”

“Mhmm, yeah.”

“And that ring I tossed into the River Lethe,” Your ears naturally perked up at the river’s mention, “was my ring and I found it just as soon as you left. I would never mean those things I said and I’m sorry you had to hear them.”

“Right, well,” Your eyes shined with excitement and giddy, “My mother is coming, so you better be able to convince her.” You quickly removed your hand from his before your mother burst in.

Oh shit.

“So you’re saying,” Demeter’s eyes burned into Seokjin and he could feel his mind turning to shreds at her words, “ you want my daughter to go back with you into that wretched palace?! She won’t return as long as I’m her mother and she has no obligation to leave. Kore will stay here.”

“Persephone is the Queen of the Underworld,” Seokjin looked at you tenderly, “it’s her duty now.”

You cringed at his wording, that was not the way to convince your mother. If anything, talking about duty would bring up the fact that she’s the Goddess of vegetation in the mortal realm. And mentioning her other name? Total loss.

“Do not defy my Hades. She will not leave my realm.”

You butted in, “I ate the pomegranate seeds, Mother.”

“You— what?” Her fiery anger dissipated into a tame flame, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears, “No, no. You,” She pointed straight to Seokjin, “You did this, didn’t you? Tricked her into eating the flirt of the Underworld to where she must leave me, her own mother for you? A lying cheat and disgusting, dishonorable coward!”

“I am no coward. I warned her and she said she wanted to,” He interlocked your hands and it made Demeter angrier, “She won’t be away for long. Only half of the year.”

“Half of the year?!” She moved towards Seokjin at a pace that even made him panic, “If you want my daughter’s hand, then propose to her properly. If she accepts, fine. She’s her own person and she had the right to choose her partner. But if she doesn’t, I will make sure your life is living hell.”

Kinda already is, Seokjin wanted to sarcastically comment but kept his mouth shut. But he reasoned that this was the best he was going to get. He turned to you and saw your wide smile and twinkling eyes. To him, you were the only person he needed. If he must, he would scourge the four realms and more to find you and even just hold your hand. With you, he had nothing to worry about.

So the two of you got “engaged” and you reapplied rings (different ones because your mother wanted you to have only the best) at the very place your mother met Seokjin. He summoned the most beautiful of jewels to make the rings and many other riches when he saw how Demeter’s eyes bulged and gravitated towards the power. She was warming up to him alright.

The night before you would leave, you held a celebration— the wedding— in a small gazebo that your friend Chan, or Hephaestus, happily built for you. He started crying in the middle of building it because his own partner, Yoongi or Aphrodite, seemed to have no interest in doing the same— but another story for another time!

Celebrating with your nymphs and other Olympian Gods and Goddesses that you had befriended long ago, it was a magical experience. You saw Jungkook, or Hera, and his husband Namjoon, or Zeus, arguing animatedly in the gazebo that you had proclaimed your love for each other earlier in the evening, something about how Namjoon never made any romantic gestures for him. In another place you saw Yoongi and Hoseok, or Apollo, sharing drinks with each other while Jimin, or Hermes, was flying around trying to meet everyone. Even Seokjin, basically the God of Shyness, was smiling and accepting praise from Irene, Wheein, and Taehyung, or Ares, Athena, and Hebe respectively.

You casually walked around, the rich purple wedding gown that you wore dragged through the grass but stayed dried, magical powers were always nice. Talking with some people, drinking and eating with others, it was wonderful. At the end of the night, Demeter came up to the two of you with flower crowns, and all the Gods watched with curiosity, except you and your mother of you knew what was to come next. The crowns were beautiful and matched your auras perfectly. One made with pink lilies, purple lavender, and white baby breath, while the other was made of cress, ferns, black and purple roses. The lighter one was for you and the darker for Seokjin.

“It’s tradition,” Demeter’s voice wavered with sadness and her hands trembled as she continued, “When a nymph is married and leaves my care, she is given a crown to remind her roots and to be happy in her new life.”

Demeter turned to you, the tears in her eyes finally came pouring out and she tried her best to allow this day to be a happy day. You looked ethereal in your dress and your expression made everything she had sacrificed worth it. Cupping your cheeks, she lovingly gazed at you and put your heads together. Your own tears were coming down and you held back a sob.

“Be powerful and strong, my Kore. If anything happens, I will always be waiting here for you and you can come back, alright? It is your duty in the next six months to take care of the Underworld, rule it with a wise mind and even sharper mouth. Many will test you but prove them wrong. Your husband’s duty is to take care of you, you are equals in love. Never forget my teachings and that I have and will always love you.”

You kneeled down to your mother and touched her feet in a sign of respect, and she crowned you with all the flowers you loved most. Standing up, you saw Demeter’s eyes stare at your husband. She looked neither happy nor angry, and everyone in the room held their breath.

“It is your duty,” She started as she firmly grasped the other crown, “to protect and take care of my daughter. She rules beside you as equals and you must treat her as such. When you are troubled, find peace in the fact that she can calm the ground we walk on from rumbling, a panther from pouncing, and my very nature. After seeing your love and hearing about it from Kore, I trust you and bless you to be a good King for the Underworld and a better husband to your Queen. You are part of my family now, Hades.”

Demeter looked pleased at how her heartwarming words touched Seokjin and made him weep as well. Maybe it was her own power, because all the deities present were desperately wiping their tears so others couldn’t see. Even Jimin, both known to be lighthearted and not as sentimental, had burst into tears when he saw his best friend crying and getting crowned while Taehyung tried to soothe him.

Seokjin kneeled and did the same as you when Demeter crowned him. Seokjin mouthed a ‘thank you’ to his mother-in-law and held out his hand for you to grab. You smiled and interlocked your fingers together before looking at your mother and then the rest of your guests.

“All hail, Persephone and Hades,” Your mother continued, “The Gods and rulers of the Underworld!”

The other gods and deities, and even nature itself seemed to bow down. But the two of you were so immersed in each other, that you only waved goodbye before Jin kissed you and the ground broke beneath you and went home.

#seokjin fics #bts fics #bts x reader #seokjin fluff #seokjin angst #kim seokjin #seokjin x reader #hades x persephone #bts angst #bts fluff #bts imagines #greek god au #hades! jin x persephone! reader #hades! bts x persephone! reader #bts fanfic #my writing #i'm so proud of this #proud of myself!!

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lucientelrunya · 3 years ago

Text

Like a lonely house pt 2

Chaotic me deciced to switch back to present tense (already edited part one) and I'm still quite clueless how to tag. But it gave me so much joy to see people enjoy my little idea.

Please feel free to point out any mistakes you spot, I'm always trying to improve my writing and stop myself from agonizing over every sentence and constantly rewrite everything...

I think Zhang Rishan might be a tad bit dramatic in this part, but I hope you enjoy this anyway :)

The blackness and cotton in his head only slowly recede, permeated by the sound of muffled voices Zhang Rishan knows. The voices carry an urgency, an impalpable sense of importance that drags him back to consciousness with a sudden harshness. Still it takes more effort than it should to blink his eyes open and for a moment he is confused why there is a stone ceiling above him and why little white flakes are clinging to his lashes. He rubs at his eyes, his movement sluggish and his arm feels heavy, a dull ache that causes the memories to come rushing back. The strange tomb, the force controlling him, the ritual, the pool - Ba Ye. It’s not a dream - nightmare? - or at least not all of it and he sits up way too quickly for his body to adjust. Thankfully someone grabs his shoulders - again - to keep him upright.

It takes Zhang Rishan another long moment to blink away the black spots and recognize Luo Que beside him, offering him an already open bottle of water, which is considerate and much appreciated. He really needs to drink something, at least to get the taste of copper and something he can’t even begin to describe out of his mouth. The strange pale liquid has dried all over his skin and clothes like some sort of clay, cracking and peeling off in flakes and powdery dust when he moves. He opts to ignore it for now, content with getting it off his lips and out of his eyes.

Luo Que doesn’t say anything and patiently waits for him to gulp down most of the bottle before he sits back again, letting go of Zhang Rishan’s shoulders and looking at him with a barely there question in his eyes. And, yeah, Zhang Rishan would like to know what’s going on here himself, thank you very much. With his vision mostly free of black spots and blurring edges he dares to look around him, having already spotted Zhang Qiling’s black clad legs next to him from the corner of his eye. He is lying on a sleeping bag right next to him, with Huo Daofu examining him quietly and unhurriedly.

And Zhang Rishan’s brain is still mushy enough to take a long moment to truly comprehend what he is looking at when he finds the source of the voices. Liu Sang and Pangzi arguing is not some rare occurrence (as he has learned in the last two days), although it's not really arguing and more of a friendly stage of bickering, but Liu Sang and Wang Pangzi arguing with Ba Ye is not normal, not in the least. So it really hasn’t been a dream or his imagination.

An illusion then, maybe? A hallucination, like the meteorite inside the tomb and Er Ye getting back his dead wife? Maybe he is still in the pool and all of this is just a hallucination? But back then the whole fake world had frozen once Ba Ye had started to doubt and Zhang Rishan is absolutely doubting the possibility of this being real. It feels too much like Er Ye’s illusion of getting Yatou back and Zhang Rishan has lived long enough to know that there is no way to truly bring a dead person back to life.

No one freezes and no one vanishes, not even when he puts his hand on his arm to push a thumb into the wound beneath the bandages and elicits a spark of pain that is absolutely and undeniably real. It quickly vanishes again, his body cataloguing it under ‘inconvenient but not life threatening’ and opting to ignore it like he had been trained. But it leaves Zhang Rishan fairly confident in his assumption that this is not an illusion.

He must have been staring, lost in his contemplation of what is real and what isn’t, because suddenly Ba Ye is turning towards him, a look of relief flashing over his face. “Lieutenant! You are awake! Please, please tell these people who I am!” He sounds worried but also a little irritated and whiny, and so much like the Ba Ye Zhang Rishan remembers. For a moment he allows himself to just watch Ba Ye come over and squat down in front of him. He had obviously tried to wipe his glasses off on his equally stained scarf resulting in smudged pale lines all over his glasses and his face.

And he has to fight the urge to reach out and touch, to convince himself that Ba Ye is real, because he has been dead and gone for almost 80 years. Even if they never found his body, even if he had been hidden somewhere by Qiu De Kao for whatever reason there is just no way for him to be alive right now, alive and the same, he is no Zhang, he has no qilin blood.

Wu Xie kneeling down beside him, half on Zhang Qiling’s sleeping bag, breaks the moment. “You know him” and although it’s not a question Zhang Rishan nods. He glances at Wu Xie, who looks worried but also curious and intrigued, always drawn to mysteries. Pangzi and Liu Sang come over, too, placing themselves behind Ba Ye like they are prepared to grab and restrain him if he tries anything, but they look at Zhang Rishan. With at least 5 pairs of expectant eyes on him, probably six, he has to squish the feeling of vulnerability and helplessness that wants to crawl out and drape itself all over him. Instead he consciously straightens his back, squares his shoulders and shifts to sit cross-legged.

He has no idea what’s going on here, no idea how to tell Ba Ye where or rather when he is now (because right now he can’t fight the acceptance that this is a living, breathing Ba Ye who just hasn’t aged a day) or what happened in the pool or if everything did really happen like he thinks. If that being had been there, in the pool and had granted him a wish he hadn’t ever put into words, had made a fleeting thought into a new reality. Each of them is looking at him like he has all the answers and he hates that he is sitting here on the floor of a dimly lit cave, on a sleeping bag someone else has rolled out for him, with bandages around his arms and feeling so utterly helpless. He can’t suppress the bitter thought that Fo Ye would have known what to do.

Taking a deep breath he decides to start with what he is sure of, which is the answer to Wu Xie’s “You know him”. “I do know this man, his name is Qi Tiezui, also known as Ba Ye”, and the name and the title should mean something to at least Wu Xie and maybe Huo Daofu, even if they obviously don’t recognize him from old photos. Maybe because they never paid attention to those pictures, which are faded and grainy compared to what even the simplest smartphone camera is able to capture nowadays or maybe because Ba Ye looks like he took a mud bath. Maybe both.

On to the second thing he is quite certain of: “As to what happened, I’m not really sure myself. As soon as I entered the tomb some force took over my body and I suppose Zhang Qiling's as well and we came to this cave to enact some kind of blood sacrifice ritual for whatever deity they are worshipping here.” No need to point out he had been meant to be the sacrifice, that bit is quite obvious, although he is not sure why Zhang Qiling is the one still unconscious then. “There was chanting, but I wasn’t able to understand it”, he adds, which makes Liu Sang nod at him. “Yeah, I heard you through the wall, but wasn’t able to identify the words either.”

Zhang Rishan considers asking why they hadn’t followed them into the cave and tried to stop the whole thing, if only to give him a little more time to try and find words for what happened after that, but he doesn’t have to voice his question. “Yeah, almost broke my damn nose trying to follow you two through that convenient little magic wall that suddenly turned into a real wall after you two went through, and we couldn’t find a mechanism or another entry or hear anything. Imagine our immense joy at hearing this idiot here say there’s ‘eerie chanting’!” Pangzi grumbles and there is no need for him to add that the use of some explosives had been on the table. Or had they used explosives?

“Did you blow a hole into the wall?” Zhang Rishan asks, eyeing a pile of broken stone in the vicinity of the wall, but Pangzi shakes his head. “Nah, I wanted to, but then the ground started to shake and - poof - the entrance was back and actually visible.” It takes Zhang Rishan another moment to realize the rubble is what’s left of the statue he had only glimpsed upon entering the cave. Had the earthquake destroyed it? Had it even been an earthquake?

Wu Xie humms beside him, following his line of sight for a moment before he points to the wall behind the rubble. “There are some murals depicting locals worshipping a deity that I have never seen before. But it seems to be for protection against droughts or bad harvests, your garden-variety-harvest-god to ensure plenty of food and the likes. Nothing that can bring dead people back to life.” Ah, right back to the burning question.

Ba Ye sputters quite helplessly at that. “Dead? What do you mean dead? Do I look dead to you? Lieutenant, what is going on here, who are these people?” Considering that Ba Ye’s face is still mostly covered in white it wouldn’t be that unreasonable to mistake him for a ghost. But beneath that he doesn’t look dead or like a walking corpse, he looks just like Zhang Rishan remembers him, just like the last time he had seen him before he had vanished. And he still has no idea how to tell Ba Ye that everyone he knows is dead. Well, everyone except Zhang Rishan.

“I’m Wu Xie, this is Wang Pangzi, Liu Sang, Luo Que and behind me are Huo Daofu and Zhang Qiling.” Wu Xie blindly pats Zhang Qiling’s lower leg when he says his name, his eyes never leaving Ba Ye’s face, gauging his reaction to two familiar family names. And Ba Ye doesn’t disappoint, confusion clearly written all over his face. He is mouthing ‘Wu’ and ‘Huo’ while his eyes scan Wu Xie’s face before he looks at Zhang Rishan with a mixture of confusion, incomprehension and helplessness.

“He is Wu Laogou’s grandson”, Zhang Rishan says softly, because their relation is the most obvious to emphasize how much time has passed and the most obvious in terms of resemblance, Ba Ye must have seen that. And Zhang Rishan holds his gaze until Ba Ye looks down, takes a deep breath, closes his mouth and lets himself plop back down to sit on the ground, his whole body curling inwards. This would be a lot to take in for everybody and Zhang Rishan would like to give Ba Ye a moment to compose himself without everyone else staring at him. There are things he hasn’t told them yet, but he is still not sure how to put any of that into words.

“Did the murals say anything about something being confined here?” Zhang Rishan asks Wu Xie, who just looks puzzled. “Confined? What do you mean?” And he really has to try and put it into words, there is no way around it, is there? He takes another deep breath through his nose. “For the ceremony I was kneeling in that pool and when the tremors started I fell into whatever liquid is in there, and it was like - like there was something in there with me. Like it was a living thing with a consciousness and whatever we did in that ceremony it set that thing free.” He can already feel some doubtful looks but nobody starts to interrupt him and Wu Xie actually nods thoughtfully like he can imagine that, so he continues: “It was communicating with me, not with words, more like with feelings and impressions,” and he just waits for Huo Daofu to interrupt him, to say something about blood loss and hallucinations, but he doesn’t, he just doesn’t - “It made very clear that it had been imprisoned here for whatever purpose and that it was just so very thankful that I set it free.”

Everyone is quiet, mulling over those words. There are still so many questions, like who or what had controlled them to enact this ceremony? Had it been the imprisoned being? Or something else? But why? And who had sealed the tomb? And why?

“So you set some ancient being free and someone from your past turns up. What if he is no human but that being in the shape of someone it saw while it was inside your mind?” Liu Sang questions, looking at Ba Ye thoughtfully who stops his calculations to stare back incredulously. “What? First I’m dead, now I’m some preternatural being? Let me tell you, I’m just a fortune teller!” He acts and sounds just like Ba Ye, but Liu Sang has a point, that being had looked into his mind, had probably had access to all his thoughts and memories. It makes his head hurt even thinking about it.

Pangzi and Liu Sang start bickering about how to test that theory, to find out if someone is human and it only gets more chaotic when Zhang Qiling wakes up and Wu Xie starts worrying over him, asking him how he feels and if he is alright while Huo Daofu tries to rule out a concussion. Zhang Rishan tries to ignore them for the moment, even though he would like to get Zhang Qiling’s version of the ceremony. He feels torn between the possible explanations for this situation, but why would some ancient being that had been trapped in a cave for centuries if not millenia take human form and stay with them? To play tricks on him? Or maybe-

“Lieutenant, if so much time has passed that the grandson of Wu Laogu is at least as old as I am, how come you haven’t aged a day?” Ba Ye’s question jolts him out of these thoughts. “It’s a Zhang-family-thing”, he answers, because Ba Ye already knows so much about their family that it should be enough. Ba Ye nods, visibly brightening at the answer, as if he had hoped for something along those lines. “So, why don’t we just ask Fo Ye for help to prove I’m just a normal human? I mean, if that being was in your head and knows what you know it doesn’t know everything about me.”

Of course he would think of Fo Ye as the answer to everything and of course Zhang Rishan has to say it now. He shakes his head slightly and forces himself to watch Ba Ye’s face and catalogue his reaction. “No. Fo Ye is not with us anymore.” It’s cruel, so cruel to tell him like this and Zhang Rishan hates it even more than he hates saying the words at all. Ba Ye’s whole face crumples but he visibly tries to hide his distress. “How on earth am I supposed to prove I’m just a normal human, then?” he bristles, obviously trying to distract himself with anger. “Tell me! What should I do!” Those last words are directed towards Pangzi and Liu Sang behind him who actually stop their bickering and have the grace to look embarrassed.

“Why would that being even want to stay here? What could be in it for... it?” Pangzi voices Zhang Rishan’s thoughts from before. “Maybe it needs help to leave the cave?” Wu Xie suggests, joining the conversation again after assuring himself that Zhang Qiling is fine aside from a cut on his forehead. “Or maybe it’s just lonely and looking for some company?” Huo Daofu throws in and Zhang Rishan isn’t sure if it’s meant to be a joke or a real suggestion. But if they are just casually throwing around theories he can add one, too.

“Maybe it’s an illusion.” Even if there is no meteorite around and even if he had set that theory aside before. Ba Ye inhales sharply at that suggestion and slaps Zhang Rishan’s knee a little harder than necessary. “Aiya! An Illusion? Does that feel like an illusion? Is there a meteorite around that you haven’t told me about? Shouldn’t you be able to tell the difference?” Ba Ye slaps him again and Zhang Rishan just lets him, flinching only a little. It makes Luo Que beside him tense noticeably, like he contemplates grabbing Ba Ye’s arm and stopping him from hitting his boss, but in the end he doesn’t move and just watches.

“Should I? I mean you were the one who realized it was an illusion back then, and you guided us out of it.” Ba Ye harrumphs at that, knitting his brows. “It’s not an illusion”, Wu Xie says and the certainty in his voice makes it easy to just accept it. After all Wu Xie had come with him and should be a real person, even if they stepped into some fake world at some point, just like Fo Ye, Ba Ye, Er Ye and Chen Pi had been real people who stepped into the meteorite.

“Thank you!” Ba Ye says, giving Wu Xie a small bow. “And if you let me, I can show you that I am perfectly capable of leaving this place all on my own.” Which leaves them with: a lonely godly being looking for company (or a bored godly being looking for some fun?) or the possibility that it is really Ba Ye.

For a moment everyone is quiet again and Zhang Rishan takes the chance to ask Zhang Qiling how he had experienced being possessed or remote controlled or whatever it had been. His answer is disappointingly simple and his experience almost the same as Zhang Rishan’s, except that he had not been in contact with another consciousness but had been knocked out really hard by something as soon as the cave had started to shake. Which confirms Zhang Rishan’s suspicion that there had been something with him in the pool.

He gets up, startling both Ba Ye and Luo Que with the sudden movement, making them stand up with him as if they are preparing to catch him again. It’s endearing and disconcerting at the same time and he opts to ignore the way it makes him feel for the moment, but tucks the feeling away to pick it apart later.

The pool is surprisingly dry and empty, but covered in the same white flaky residue both Zhang Rishan and Ba Ye are covered in, which is reassuring because it means there had been something before. For a moment Zhang Rishan just stares at the empty pool, trying and failing to find a hole or a crack in the stone through which the liquid could have vanished. Surely it did not just evaporate into thin air? His memory is not clear enough to dispel the thought that maybe the liquid had not vanished but changed its shape and made itself into a human being.

“Huh? Why is it empty?” Pangzi asks which makes Zhang Rishan release a breath he hadn’t even been aware of holding. “It wasn’t empty when you could get in?” he reassures himself, looking at the other man. “Hah! Wish it had been, do you have any idea how hard it was to get you out of that stuff?” Pangzi snorts and points at the smudged edge of the pool, where a very visible track of white covers the ground all the way over to their sleeping bags. It also makes Zhang Rishan notice the white smudges all over Pangzis clothes only to find the man grinning at him when he looks up again. The corners of his mouth twitch involuntarily in quiet amusement and he nods his thanks, which makes Pangzi grin even more.

With the pool providing no answers at all Zhang Rishan walks over to the wall to look at the murals, soon joined by Wu Xie who points to the parts of the murals he had mentioned before. It shows a group of people in clothing Zhang Rishan has never seen building this tomb. Maybe some minority? They have no idea how old this tomb is, after all or how long it had been sealed. In the next part of the mural it almost looks like they are summoning the unknown god and not merely worshipping and some part of Zhang Rishan’s mind resonates with that thought. The ceremony looks just like what the two of them had enacted, one person in the pool and the other at the altar with a dagger. But it almost seems like the sacrifice on the mural dissolves into the pool, a thought he really doesn’t want to dwell on.

After that the mural gets quite confusing, depicting the statue that is broken now and people celebrating rich harvests, without any clear connection. He looks back at the picture of the god, tracing the faded lines with his fingers trying to recall everything the being in the pool had tried to tell him through thoughts and feelings and suddenly he understands. Or at least he thinks he does.

“They didn’t worship the god, they captured it and confined it in here because as long as it was here everything around it would be thriving, rich harvests, no sicknesses, people living long and full lives.” As soon as he says it he knows it’s true and he finds Wu Xie nodding next to him. “So, you set that god free and as a gesture of thanks it returned a dead person from your past?” And Zhang Rishan knows dead people don’t come back to life, but this is a god they are talking about and it had made everything else grow, had kept people healthy and strong. Maybe it could do this too?

“I’m still not dead and I was never dead!” Ba Ye protests from beside him and reminds Zhang Rishan that he still doesn’t know what happened when Ba Ye vanished back then, how or when he died. He looks at him and contemplates asking just that but somehow he is afraid of the answer. “Maybe you died and you just forgot.” Pangzi says, pushing at one of the larger rocks left over from the statue with his foot.

“How would someone forget his own death, this is ridiculous! An hour ago I was just in my room, enjoying a nice cup of tea and suddenly I find myself in this cave, almost drowning in that pool!” Ba Ye gestures wildly and angrily with his arm, almost slapping Zhang Rishan in the face in the process, but Pangzi is unimpressed. “How could you not forget your death? Or the fact that you died. Maybe you just dropped dead drinking your tea, things like that happen. Who knows.”

“He didn’t drop dead, he vanished without a trace, leaving everything behind”, Zhang Rishan interjects. If Ba Ye had just dropped dead there would have been a funeral and it would have been just as sad and hard, but there wouldn’t have been a mystery, no reason to wish to know what happened.

“Well, maybe he did drop dead and that god plucked his body from the past, brought him back to life and put him here”, Wu Xie shrugs, “I mean, my terminal lung cancer got healed by magic golden coffin water in thunder city, so it’s not that far-fetched.”

And - oh, oh - realisation hits him like a punch to the sternum, taking his breath away, almost making him double over and sink to his knees. It had been him. Ba Ye never just vanished, had never been kidnapped by the Japanese or Qiu De Kao. He had never died, he had been snatched away by this being - god - whatever - and placed here and now, with Zhang Rishan, because it had wanted to give him something he had lost. But Ba Ye had never been lost, he had been stolen, stolen because Zhang Rishan is selfish and thoughtless and cruel and - He has done this. He has done this to Ba Ye. And to Fo Ye. And -

He can’t breathe. How can he ever say this? How can he ever tell Ba Ye? He can never be forgiven for this, there is no way, absolutely no way. Look out for Ba Ye, that had been his order, the one most important to Fo Ye and thus the most important to Zhang Rishan. And he had failed, miserably - no, he had done the opposite! And for the first time in quite a while he wishes Fo Ye was the one with a long life and not him. Fo Ye would never have done something so stupid.

Unbidden he remembers the illusion he had fallen victim to below the Chen tree, Fo Ye with his gun pointed at him, disappointed, so disappointed and he wishes it had been real, that he had died that day so he would have never been able to come here today. But Ba Ye had been missing before, he had vanished before Zhang Rishan had ever been to this tomb and shared his memories with a god. There would have been no reason to wish to know what happened that day if nothing had happened. And that really makes his head hurt, how is it even possible? How does this work, today and the past linked like this? Like it had always been meant to be this way?

#I wrote this instead of sleeping #dmbj fic #mystic nine #zhang rishan #qi tiezui #fuba #wibbly wobbly timey wimey #ba ye

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ohsnapcracklepopfriends · 3 years ago

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Here it is friends. Part one of my Taylor-Swift-nostalgia induced carraville fic. I will be writing a short part two but I figured I’d get this up now and it could be read on its own at this point. I haven’t proof read it so please excuse any mistakes but I hope you enjoy!

Jamie undid his tie. It was a plaid tie, blue instead of red to suggest his neutrality. It was a good day or at least it should’ve been. Liverpool beat Everton two to one, he’d had a good show (no one was harassing him on Twitter yet and Gary had made a few mistakes, Jamie thought that qualified a pretty good show), and he had a date at eleven. He should be fucking buzzing but Jamie just feels the idle hum of numbness. Even the five-goal thriller that was their first game of the night hadn’t got his heart pumping like it used to.

Gary walked in silently, startling Jamie who quickly pulled on a jumper. Not that his state of dress mattered, Gary’s eyes stayed glued to the floor. He walked to the far corner of the dressing room to change out of his suit, as far away from Jamie as possible. He hadn’t said a word to Jamie all night when the cameras weren’t rolling. It hurt. Especially when Gary was so good at acting like everything was fine when the commercial break ended. He even fooled Jamie a few times.

Kelly knocked on the door, making sure they were both decent, before walking in to say goodnight. Jamie watched as Gary smiled at Kelly, as he laughed with her about something. Jamie used to do that: make Gary laugh. Kelly turns her attentions to Jamie. She compliments him on his interview tonight and asks him where he and Tom are going for their date.

“It’s quite late,” she comments, “you can’t really be going to dinner.” Jamie give her a fake laugh.

“I’ve got a reservation and everything Kells. We’re going to that new vegan place. He’s picking me up.” You heard that right: vegan. Because on top of everything, Tom fucking cared about animals and the environment. Jamie wasn’t complaining too much, though. He could suffer through some tofu if it meant not having to go to Gary and his old haunts.

“Ooh!” Kelly said, “do I get to meet him? Redknapp keeps talking about how lovely he is, I figure I could judge for myself.” Ah, yes, Redders. Running into Redders had been an accident. They managed to bump into him at the golf course the week before. Tom was good at golf, unlike Redders, as much as he tried to be. Tom gave him a few pointers, helping Redders fix his posture for his swings. They ended up playing a whole round together while Jamie played ping-pong with an eight-year-old girl in the clubhouse. Redders hadn’t shut up about how Tom’s wonderfulness and his perfect swing since. Jamie nodded at Kelly. He figured he couldn’t do any more damage.

The three of them stood in the parking lot waiting for Tom’s car to pull in. He wasn’t late of course, he never is, they just got out earlier than anticipated. Gary had tried to skitter off to his car but Kelly practically dragged him back up on the curb. Gary, despite trying to put on an agreeable face, looked about as miserable as Jamie felt. Jamie thought he was slightly better at hiding it though.

At 10:59 Tom’s blue Volkswagen pulled in. One minute early. He wore a nice checked shirt with the first few buttons undone. His hair and shirt were miraculously crisp and clean after a full day of work. He looked like a fucking god with his symmetrical face, sharp bone structure, and straight nose. Kelly certainly took note of that. “Our Carra is a lucky man!” She whispered before going over to Tom to introduce herself. Tom shook her hand and complimented her dress which, to be fair, was a very nice floral pattern.

Tom stuck his hand out for Gary to shake. “Hello Gary, my name’s Tom. It’s nice to meet you.” Gary takes a minute to collect himself and takes Tom’s outstretched hand giving it a firm shake.

“It’s nice to meet you as well.” It sounds remarkably fake, of course it does, but Tom doesn’t seem to notice. He just turns towards Jamie with a perfect smile.

“You have such lovely friends, Jamie. It was nice to meet you both.” Jamie wasn’t so sure about that but played along and let Tom walk him to the car. Tom opened Jamie’s door for him before walking around to get in himself. He saw Kelly sling an arm around Gary’s shoulders as they drove away. Jamie took a deep breath and remembered it was all for the best. He reminded himself that this was what he wanted: stability. He didn’t want to fight anymore. The words Gary had said that night still rung in his ears. He was sure his own snarls were not forgotten either.

It started to rain as they parked but Tom had an umbrella. Gary never had an umbrella. You’d think that living in Manchester he’d learn to at least keep one in his car. Instead, he resorted to sprinting away from the rain as fast as he could trying to avoid the rain, he wasn’t as fast as he used to be. But Tom was prepared, he always was. He held the umbrella for the both of them as they walked around to the front of the restaurant.

“James, try the torte it’s quite delicious.” Jamie hated being called James. Absolutely hated it. Not when Gary said it though. His stupid manc accent stretched the vowels into velvet. When Gary said it he felt special. Tom’s polished London accent made him feel posh, pretentious, and twatty. James. Ugh. It was like the word torte. It’s a fucking cake, just call it what it is. Jamie took a bite of the torte. It was good if you ignored the aftertaste of soya in the frosting, a little dry, but Jamie nodded his head like it was an orange mcflurry. He let Tom finish the dessert.

They’re in the car. Tom’s dropping Jamie off at his apartment. Tom must have noticed that Jamie had been quiet and switched the topic to something a little more in his wheelhouse: football. They were talking about England and possible squads for the upcoming international break. Tom started talking about moving Kyle Walker into midfield and Jamie couldn’t take it.

“That’s bollocks. Where is the one place on the field where we actually have players? Fucking midfield. Gareth’s drowning in defenders but not experienced ones. Playing Walker in midfield fucking undermines Henderson and leaves the young centrebacks overexposed.” Tom laughs for some reason. Jamie doesn’t find it funny.

“Well, you would certainly know.” This is what you want, he reminds himself again. Peace, calm, stability. This is happiness. But, fuck, Jamie missed Gary. He missed the challenge. He missed the little crease between Gary’s eyes. He missed Gary’s squeaky voice when he gets worked up. He missed fighting and bickering with Gary over things that didn’t matter. He missed screaming at Gary and Gary screaming back. He missed the really hot sex they’d have after such screaming matches, making Gary scream in a different, more satisfying way. He missed Gary’s laugh, his smile. It seemed to Jamie that neither of them have smiled much since that day. Jamie thought that smiling didn’t seem worth it if Gary wasn’t smiling back.

Jamie checked his phone. It was nearing 1 am. He had a handful of messages from Kelly. Jamie didn’t want to read about how great she thought Tom was, he fucking knew that Tom was great. On paper, he was fucking perfect. The perfect boyfriend. The dream guy. Not for Jamie though. He dreamed of an angry, passionate, crazy, wonderful manc. He opened his messages anyways though, figuring Tom would want to hear what Kelly thought about him.

Jamie. I know you’re on your date but we need to talk. Can you call me? It’s about Gaz. The first one read.

He’s at mine. Really upset. He said not to talk to you so I figure you know what’s going on. That sounded about right. Kelly caring more about Gary’s well being than Gary himself. Gary was too stubborn to care.

Call me please. The last one read. Fuck. They’d made a mess of things. Not only had they made a mess of themselves, but they’d also dragged the others into it.

“Can you pull into that park up there?” Jamie asked Tom. He nodded and turned down the radio, waiting for Jamie to say something more. He didn’t though. Not until he got out of the car and puked some partially digested salad in the grass. Tom came over to him and rested his palm on Jamie’s mid back. Gary used to pet his hair, carding his fingers through it, on those mornings after he’d had a little too much to drink.

Jamie laid on his back in the middle of the parking lot. The rain soaked through his thin shirt in seconds. Tom looked down at him concerned. “I can’t do this, Tom. You’re so lovely. I mean you’re so fucking lovely but I just can’t—”

“I get it, James. You’re still in love with him.” The bastard still looked perfect even drenched with rain. Jamie guessed that he probably looked like a drowned rat. Jamie must have been giving him a confused look because he laughed and explained further. “I saw the way you used to look at him on the tele like he’s the fucking sun. I saw the way you looked at him tonight like being around him was tearing you apart. Besides, I’m pretty sure half the nation knew there was something going on there.” Jamie laughed at that. They had been pretty obvious. And not just Gary, apparently. Apparently, he was just as open of a book. He needed to call Kelly.

She picked up after three rings. “Hi Carra,” she whispered, “needed to get out of the living room, Gaz’s sleeping on my couch.”

“Is he okay?” Jamie asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.

“He’s a wreck, Jamie. He misses you.” I miss him too, Jamie didn’t say, so much.

“Can I come round?” Jamie asked. Kelly said yes so long as Jamie can get Gary the hell out of her living room and gave Carra her address.

Thankfully, Kelly’s place was nearby, about a mile away. Jamie didn’t know where he got the energy considering he was dead on his feet a few minutes before, but he ran there as fast as he possibly could. His water-filled shoes squished loudly with every step. He got there in seven minutes and was panting heavily when he knocked on the door. Kelly let him in wordlessly.

Gary was still sleeping on the couch when he walked into the living room. Kelly gave him a nod and walked into the kitchen. Jamie kneeled next to Gary and cupped his cheek with his palm. Jamie hadn’t realized how much he’d missed that simple feeling. Gary’s forehead was still crinkled in his sleep. His eyes were dark like he hadn’t slept much. Jamie hadn’t either. It was hard to sleep alone, without Gary’s comforting weight on his chest. Jamie took Gary’s hand from where it was tucked under his chin and intertwined their fingers. The weight of Gary’s hand in his set relief running through Jamie’s body. Gary started to stir at that.

“James?” Jamie smiles at that. His stupid name sounds beautiful coming from Gary’s mouth. His eyes weren’t even open yet and Gary already knows it’s him. “What are you doing here?” He opened his eyes slightly but upon seeing Jamie they were wide open. Gary’s eyes were red and bloodshot. Jamie just wanted to yank him into his arms and hug him forever.

“What are you doing here, you muppet? Bothering Kelly at 2 am?” Jamie said playfully. Gary flushed slightly. “Come on, Gaz. Let’s get you home.” He grabbed Gary’s hand to pull him up. Gary stumbled when he tried to take a step. Carra looked down at the empty beer bottles and figured that was why. He grabbed Gary’s arm and slung it over his shoulder. Gary’s head rested in the crook of Jamie’s neck, his soft breathing tickling at the skin there.

“Kelly,” Jamie called softly into the kitchen, “we’re leaving.” She came out to stand in the doorway in her fluffy, pink bunny slippers that Jamie had somehow not noticed before. Jamie thought he should get Gary a pair.

“Set an alarm,” she said, “he wakes up early. Don’t let him bolt.” Jamie figured Gary wouldn’t be racing out of his apartment at 5 am with the hangover he was sure to have but it was still a good idea. Gary was an unpredictable, stubborn bastard at times. Jamie thanked her and helped Gary down to his car.

It was still pouring when they got out of the building because clearly the gods wanted Gary to either sober up or catch his death. Thankfully, in his upset Gary had forgotten to lock the car meaning Carra didn’t have to fumble around for his keys in the current weather. Except, that Gary wouldn’t get into the car. He sprawled his limbs over the door so Jamie couldn’t push him inside.

“Gary, if you don’t get your arse in that car, I’m going to leave you out here to drown.” Obviously, he wasn’t serious but he figured that Gary might be drunk enough not to know that. Gary just smiled up fondly at him and stayed put.

“I love you,” he said, looking like the most radiant, beautiful thing Jamie had ever seen in his life. His hair was a mess, stuck down to his forehead. His cheeks were bright red from a mix of alcohol and the cold. His eyes were still red but god they held all the love in the world. Jamie could see that somehow, after everything, Gary still loved him, truly loved him. After all the things he said, screamed, did, this man--this beautiful man--still loved Jamie every ounce as much as Jamie loved him. It didn’t matter what he should want, he wanted Gary and all of his adorable, infuriating flaws. His recipe to happiness was just that: his own. He didn’t need stability, calm, peace. He needed to feel something.

Jamie cupped his face for the second time that night. He ran his thumb over Gary’s wet, stubbly cheeks. Jamie couldn’t help himself. He kissed Gary with all of the kisses they’d missed in the past two months. The two months of pain, loneliness, desolation. He kissed Gary with all of the love he had in his cold, wet body and Gary did the same. Gary moved slower than Jamie, less frantically but no less enthusiastically. Gary clutched at his jacket like a vice, unwilling to let go. Jamie moved his hands around Gary’s body. He wanted to make sure that everything was still as he remembered it. And it was. Of course, it was. He had Gary in his arms, it didn’t matter that the rain had picked up. Though, he was sure he’d hear about the soggy interior of Gary’s car in the morning. He pulled away reluctantly for breath and rested his forehead against Gary’s.

#carraville #jamie carragher #gary neville #thank you taylor for the inspiration #very loosely inspired by the way I loved you #my fic

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honesthammie · 3 years ago

Text

Te amo

I am working on a few of the other prompts and a part 2 to prompt 4 the soulmate au I just recently got another puppy and I still have uni work to do so I'm a bit behind schedule with these and I'm so sorry. Hopefully this little kinda songfic makes up for it.

13th doctor x female reader

Warnings: swearing as usual, fluffy, sad thoughts, twist the original songs meaning, long as fuck.

Probably terrible as its my first songfic

I don't know much Spanish so some of the examples later on are Google translated and I know it can be wrong so I do apologise for any mistranslations

This is based off Rhiannas song Te Amo but I'm switching it up a little. I dont why 13th doctor came into my head when I was listening to it but it gave me this lil oneshot idea so enjoy! The picture is not mine but the rainbow effect added is done by me! Same for the picture later on.

I've been travelling with this amazing alien for a whole year now. The adventures are always amazing if she's there! The others sometimes complain and say its boring, especially on a junk planet but to see her face light up with excitement makes my day and it well worth the dirt we cover ourselves on by the time we are done. And when she finds something that she thought was useful and it turns out, it's not her scrunch is amazing.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in love with this alien. I know, weird, a human and an alien together? But I can't help it! I'm completely besotted with her. If she even looks in my direction, my legs go to jelly and I get butterflies. I know, cheesy. But thats exactly how I feel around her. I barely want to touch her because I nearly fainted the last few times. And I fear she may pick up on how I'm distancing myself from her. I don't want to break her heart and leave, the thought of her look kills me as is so I'm trying to get her to kick me off.

It doesn't seem to be working though. I've been distancing myself since I found out about how I feel, which is now 6 months ago and she's trying to get me to be as close as I was with her.

I'll tell her. On one of our amazing adventures but I can't do it straight forward, it's making me sick with anxiety just thinking about it. I'll fancy it up, make her work it out. Whenever we are next to each other and the moment is right, I'll tell her in another language!

I finally get out of bed after I finished writing in my diary. I slip some comfy clothes on and head out to the TARDIS library and hope no one is there, especially her. I'll be distracted and right now, I need to concentrate. I wonder the warm halls, grateful that the TARDIS had considered my preferences. I think the TARDIS likes me more than the others because I talk to her and show her gratefulness for taking us somewhere amazing and I chat to her regularly and I try to involve her in my conversations. The others find it weird, except for the Doctor, she just smiles and joins in with me. Im still learning how to translate her but I think I've sort of got it.

I reach my hand forward and grab the aged bronze doorknob and open to the giant room. There were so many floors that an elevator had to be used to access some of them as the Doctor said "walking would literally take weeks to reach some floors". Thankfully the TARDIS organises them to make them easier to find. I looked forward and saw an interactive map in front of me. My hands touched the screen and many subjects and categories came up. Anything ranging from kiddie tales to straight up smut, I have a feeling either River or Missy are to blame for that addition.

I've never met them but the TARDIS showed me videos from her database and brought books to my attention about them. They both seem very dirty minded people so I'm not surprised those are there. I wonder if the Doctor has ever stumbled upon this section or is it for none Doctor eyes only? If she does know about them, has she ever read one? No, don't go there you stupid brain! She probably doesn't know!

I quickly stop that train of thought and catch my breath. I've never thought about those kinds of things about anyone before. Stupid Timelord, making me go all weird and think dirty things. Now my face is all red, I really hope I'm alone in here. I quickly focus back to the task at hand, finding a new language to learn. The TARDIS seemed to know where to go and blue arrows appeared, guiding me to the right section in what could be a maze.

As I walking, I felt excitement rise within me. What if she felt the same way? What if she was impressed by how far I wanted to go just to say those 3 words? Would her hazel honey eyes sparkle with delight? Would she scronch her nose in amazement?

Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the language learning section and there were many alien languages but the TARDIS seemed to have a better idea of what would be perfect for me as a white hardback book fell off the 4th shelf onto the wooden floor. I picked it up and noticed how smooth the cover was and how old yet unused it looked. The white was a little off, almost a dull cream from ageing which made the gold writing harder to read. The title was simple:

Spanish basics and need to knows.

I did always find Spanish in school fun to learn, more than French or German anyway and I don't wanna stereotype this into a typical French is the language of romance. I never really found it romantic sounding compared to Spanish.

I picked up the book and quickly flicked through to the right page and took a note on my phone as to what the translation was and put the worn book away. I quietly thanked the TARDIS and rushed out of the library and back into my room where I could practice without getting caught.

A few weeks have passed since I picked up the new words and practiced them until I was confident and had the TARDIS' approval that I was saying it right. Today the Doctor wanted to take us to this party in the 18th century and we all decided to dress for the part once we landed.

Yaz was wearing a beautiful black and red ballroom gown, accented with little bows around the bottom and lace cuffs. She had her black hair curled into a ponytail. It was simple and cute, much like her style normally. Graham and Ryan wore similar suits but Graham wore green accents and Ryan wore yellow accents.

I let the TARDIS pick my dress. She picked a black and dark blue ballroom gown with blue roses on the bottom. It had black lace underneath and blue lace as the cuffs. The gown also seemed to glitter slightly in the light making me sparkle very subtly. I put my comfy boots on as you couldn't see my shoes as I walked anyway so why did it matter? With all the running we do, I'm not risking my ankles with heels, thank you very much. I had my (h/c) hair in (fave style). It suited my dress perfectly.

I nearly choked on oxygen when I saw how hot the Doctor looked in her suit. It took me a few moments to realise we match. We both blushed at the realisation. Of course the TARDIS makes us match! No wonder why she was more than eager to help me pick an outfit! Stupid sentient ship, shipping us already!

I quickly cleared my throat and complimented everyone on how amazing they looked but I just couldn't take my eyes off the Doctor for long. She was like a magnet for my eyes. Someone help before she realises!

"Don't we all look brilliant? Perfect for the party! 18th century Yorkshire to be exact! What a great century for you guys. Now then, this party is for Nobles and higher, as per usual in these times. Ryan, I suggest you keep in mind about any racist comments that may come out. But as long as you say your Graham's personal butler, you should be welcomed with little resistance. And Yaz, I want you to be (y/n)'s personal maid. That does mean you'll have to follow your so called "masters" around and do anything they ask unfortunately and Graham, (y/n), please act like the others around you and use them. Unfortunately this is the only way all 5 of us can join the party. You'll be fine as long as you bite your tongues. Now the Noble Edward Collins is the host so be sure to thank him for inviting you, even though you technically weren't. And try not to get too drunk, I know what you humans are like! Now follow me." The Doctor explained. I was going to tell the Doctor today, but I guess, I'll have to wait.

The Doctor opened the doors and we were in a cupboard under some gorgeous marble stairs. As we walked towards the party I noticed some family portraits along the walls. They were a very beautiful looking family. The mother had long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. The father was buff, long brown hair and daring brown eyes. There were two children, a girl and a boy. The girl had long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, whilst the son had blonde hair and brown eyes. They also had a brown greyhound dog laying by the sons feet. The son must be the host, Edward. He looked not much older than 10 in the last painting but the daughter was no where to be found in the portrait and theu all looked mournful. Is she dead and is that the picture capturing the moment of grief? Why would anyone want that? It's so strange, even for this time period.

The Doctor held me and Yaz close, stopping us in our tracks. My heart was racing at the simple touch. But as soon as the touch was there, it was gone. "I hope its okay with you (y/n) but you're going to have to be married to someone."

My heart stopped for a moment and I nearly choked on air. "What? Why?"

"Because women like yourself would have been married as young as 13 or 14. Now your only choices are me and Graham. You can't choose Ryan as he's supposed to be a butler and you can't choose Yaz as she's your maid. The choice is yours, I just need to know wether or not I should refer to you as my darling wife or not?"

What. The. Fuck.

Why did her even calling me that l, turn me on? Obviously, I'm going to choose her but I'm going to have to perfect my reasoning here.

"As much as I love Graham, it's going to be awkward if I have to kiss him or anything because he's like my grandad! I guess you'll do Timelord. Come on then husband, we don't want to be late to the dancefloor!" I spoke clearly hoping she didn't notice how excited I actually was to have even a hint of a relationship with her. It may be fake but ill take anything when it comes to her.

We arrived at the welcome committee and handed our cards over, aka the psychic paper. We were going as Mr and Mrs (last name). The Doctor was holding my hand this entire time and it's driving me insane. I don't know if she can feel my racing pulse under her fingers but if she can I hope she puts it down to excitement! We walked down the most grandest staircase you would ever lay your eyes on.

First we walked around, greeting everyone as they came up to us or if she dragged me to someone she knew, but not personally. She was cute when she was fangirling over these people. Yaz found it annoying as she just wanted to party but I couldn't help it. The way her eyes shimmer with recognition was more beautiful than any galaxy she could ever take us. Sometimes her eyes flickered with admiration and it did make me have jealousy for just a moment before I remembered, I'm staying with her and they aren't .

As the party moved on we met the host Edward. He looked a lot different than in his paintings. He was around 20 years old now and his blonde hair was below his shoulders. He looked a lot like his father with his muscley build. And he was very charismatic which I did not like as he poured all his charm into the Doctor. Does everyone here know that he's gay or does he see through the Doctors disguise? Either way, it was rubbing me the wrong way. I quickly excused myself with Yaz and walked into the bathroom.

"I did not like him. I do not like this Edward guy. Something about him rubs me completely wrong. He's handsome but something is telling me he knows the Doctor isn't a man."

"I felt the same way. He knows something we don't. Before we go out there again, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yaz asked. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. She knows. The jig is up with Yaz. "How do you feel about her, honestly? One minute you 2 are inseparable, then you distance yourself and now you are a nervous wreck around her! I won't judge but I just want to make sure my theory is correct."

Shit. I guess I really was obvious. Does she know?

"If your theory is about me falling hopelessly in love with the Doctor then you'd be correct. I can't help it. I'm going to tell her how I feel without being completely stupid. I just need a right moment to say it." I spoke with a heavy sigh. Hopefully, Yaz can help create that moment thay I need. She nods her head and opens the door. We walk back to the Doctor and notice Edward has gone to other guests and she was talking to Graham. I looked around and saw Ryan flirting with a pretty lady near the food table. Why am I not surprised?

A few hours had passed and the Doctor seemed bored with standing and talking so I made a plan in my head. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the dancefloor as the next song came on. I didn't quite know how to dance properly but I knew the basics if it. She has to lead and I simply follow suit. It took a few moments but I got the hang of it with the Doctors help. Soon we were dancing so gracefully underneath the most beautiful candelabra that lit up her face perfectly.

Her hair swayed to our perfect dance ever so gently. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and her lips were in a permanent smile. She even laughed a couple of times. Then as the music slowed down to a pace that was perfect, I grabbed her waist and looked her. My heart was going crazy and my legs were about to buckle but I had rehearsed my lines. I can do this.

"Hey Doc. Its been an amazing time with you but I can't continue this without being honest with you. But everytime I get close, I back down in fear. So I'm going to let you figure it out. Doctora te amo. Entiendo que si no sientes lo mismo y me iré si quieres. (Doctor i love you. i understand if you don't feel the same way and i'll leave if you want.)" I spoke with as much passion and intention as I could. I looked into her eyes and saw her confused and trying to work out what I said. I would find it cute if my heart was beating right out of my chest. "Well, I've had a great time but I'm fucking knackered. I'm calling it night. I'll be heading to the TARDIS if you need me."

"I'll come with ya. I'm knackered as well and we both need each other to undo the corsets and mine is starting to hurt a little bit. How we used to do this for a full day, everyday, is beyond my understanding. As beautiful as we look, I don't think its worth the pain this will bring in the morning." Yaz spoke with a slight mumble as proof of her mental state and finishing with a yawn. I chuckled at her state and walked back to the TARDIS with a small amount of chat along the way.

She is right though. These corsets really do hurt you after a while, I'm glad I chose not to wear heels or else I'll be fucked for in the morning. I would literally scream. I think the Doctor had the right idea in wearing a suit, no pain. I do feel bad for leaving her but I just need some space after basically admitting everything that's been built up within me for too damn long. Maybe I should tell Yaz how it went and maybe she can help determine if the Doctor is happy or not.

We walked back into the wardrobe room and I helped Yaz out of her corset. She immediately sighed in relief. She finished getting herself into comfy clothes and started to untie my ribbon.

"So did you tell her?"

"Sort of. I basically told her everything but in Spanish. I just hope it doesn't change anything, except in a positive way, of course! If she wants me gone, I've told her that it's fine and I understand. She's very socially awkward and as cute as I find it, it may not help me in this situation. Do you have any clues on how she may react once she figures it out?"

Yaz stopped untying my corset for a moment and placed 1 finger upon her chin in thought. Her eyes were almost shut and seemed almost completely black in the light. After what seemed like forever, she took her finger off her chin and beamed a toothy smile. Her eyes sparkled as she remembered something and seemed to gleam slightly menacingly. A smirk replaced her smile soon after.

"There's a few times she's shown affection towards you. And I mean romantic affection. She always chooses to hold your hand over anyone else's if given the choice. She always steps I'm front of you when an enemy threatens to kill us all or hurt us in anyway. When you go wandering around on your own, she's terrified thats she's lost you forever to an enemy we don't even know of!" Yaz starts explaining carefully as if she's worried on how to word it.

"Those are just friendly affec-"

"I wasn't done. I was warming up." Yaz interrupts me as I was about to go into a self deprecating speech on how I'm just a friend to everyone and never a lover. "She always looks to see your face on adventures because she secretly loves your reactions, bad or good. When the Master revealed himself, she looked straight at you for support on how she should react. When she came back from the Kasavin, she ran straight to you and made sure you were ok first before any of us. When we were in the Tsungra medical ship, the first person she asked for was you! Whilst she was unconscious on board the ship, she kept mumbling your name, over and over again. When she saw how gorgeous you looked today, I thought she'd take you right there on the spot! She fucking loves you (y/n)! You're just so unbelievably blind to it all!"

Yaz was almost red with rage. Did she really do all that, for me? The TARDIS mustve read my mind and seemed to hum positively in reply. If everything Yaz said is true then she'll be so happy about it and maybe we can be a thing! But then again, maybe losing so many in a similar position as me will turn her away. Maybe her soul is awry and she's asking why right now.

Once I had gotten changed I went to sleep almost straight away, I suppose all that dancing and social ques having tired me out more than I thought.

I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I rubbed my (e/c) eyes and told them I'd be a few minutes as I've only just woken up. It wasn't until I finished brushing my (h/c) hair that I remembered what happened yesterday. All the panic rushed within me at once and I nearly threw up. I took several deep breaths and opened the door.

"GRAHAM THANK FUCK ITS YOU!" I almost shouted at him. He looked a little bewildered for a moment before he seemed to remember what brought him here in the first place.

"Hello Love, I'm here because Doc wanted to speak with you privately in the library. She says that the TARDIS will guide you to her location. She seemed a little off after you and Yaz left. Did something happen? Is everything ok?" Graham asked cautiously. He must be so confused.

"Sort of. I'll explain more when I get back but what do you mean by "a little off"?"

"Well she seemed lost in all sense of the word. She kept muttering "Te Amo" all the time. She was all over the place aswell. She got me and Ryan back here not long after you guys. Something about not trusting Ryan to not get alcohol poisoning without her around. She hasn't really left the library since if I'm honest. She's been in there for 12 hours. I only know she wants you because she whattsapped me on my phone. Whatever is going on, please sort it out, she's starting to really worry me. She hasn't been the same since that Master guy came around." Graham spoke clearly, albeit confused. I nodded my head and walked in the opposite direction to him and hoped the TARDIS would take me there quicker than normal. I want to treat this like a plaster, rip it off in one go.

Sooner than I realised, I grabbed the all too familiar door knob of the library. I took a deep breath and walked in. A blue line appeared towards the interactive map. I awakened the console and I saw a black screen with a few words on it. It looked like a message with how it was presented.

Hello (y/n)! Don't walk until you calm. Breath deeply and try not to panic. I promise you, all will work out in the end. I see more than you realise and I know my thief better than anyone whoever stepped foot into my being. I know of her main problem about the situation. If she loves you, drink this. It won't hurt, she'll know what it is.

The TARDIS

I should have been surprised by this new knowledge that she could speak to me, in a way, but I've seen so much and I am so tender hooks so I didn't take much notice of it. I quickly sat down and tried to control my breathing. After about 5 or so minutes, I felt calm enough to finally meet up with her and hear what she has to say.

I followed the blue line carefully until I spotted her in a comfy room. She mustve gotten changed at some point as she was wearing her usual rainbow outfit, minus the jacket. She was sat on a deep purple sofa, legs curled into her body. Her shoes were on the carpeted floor underneath her, seemingly forgotten for the moment. There were many books surrounding us from many cultures and spieces. One wall had a cozy wood burning fireplace crackling within the silence that surrounded us.

Her face was scrunched within deep thought. Her eyes sparkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on; hope, sorrow or excitement? Her lips had a small smirk gracing them and her teeth had bitten a small part of it. Her hands were holding a book in a way where I couldn't quite see what it was.

I didn't want to disturb her as she looked so ethereal with the warm glow of the fire highlighting her in the perfect way. Unfortunately, it's plaster time and I wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. I took a deep breath took in the picture for memory.

"Hey, Graham said you wanted to talk to me? Is everything ok?" I asked gently and as softly as I could so she was carefully brought out of her little world. I didn't want to scare her. She raised her eyes from her book for a moment and bookmarked the page she was at with a little TARDIS paperclip. She placed the book on the table at the side of her and patted the seat next to her.

As I sat down my nerves were through the roof. She gave nothing away as she stared at me for a minute, as if assessing something about me.

"Why are you so nervous? Calm down. You are right, It is to do with last night. You left pretty abruptly after basically confessing your feelings to me. I was so confused, not just about what you said but about myself and what I wanted to do about you." The Doctor spoke monotonously. Did she mean get rid of me? "I had to first of all, find out what you said, well done on learning a new language by the way, one even I'm not fluent at. I'm guessing the old girl had something to do with that idea. Not that, you aren't smart enough but you don't know what languages I do or don't know."

The Tardis seemed to chuckled at the accusation and I simply nodded my head. "I wanted to buy myself time and to impress you."

"You impressed me a long time ago Miss (l/n). That is just a cherry on top. After I figured out what you said, no thanks to my old friend here, I went through a lot of thinking. I've not been in many relationships and you know my history regarding the ones I have been in. You know, River and Missy? And I have such a bad past with it ending in nothing but tears for me. I always lose those I care for deeply." She spoke with tears spilling from her gorgeous eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the stray tears that managed to escape their home.

"That was when you were a man. You're a woman now, everything is so different. Relationships can be heartbreaking. I know what you're main problem is and the TARDIS has a solution to that. I just need you to tell me the truth. How do you feel about me? Do you want me to stay or not?" I stated holding the small shot glassed amount of liquid in my hand. The liquid was golden and sparkled slightly in the light. There were specks of orange and silver within it and it was as hot as a nice cup of (hot drink). Her eyes sparkled with hope and shock. Her lips were smiling wide. And she seemed to giggle at the sight of it. She held it for a moment as if examining it like a rare artefact, maybe it was. Either way, I trust her judgement and if she's happy about it, then so am I. Once she had analysed the drink, she practically leapt into my arms and pushed me down on my back. She smelled of custard creams and the TARDIS which was odd but completely her and I couldn't imagine her smelling any other way.

"That does solve our problem! What she has just given you is the rarest liquid in the universe seeing as only one thing in the entirety of space can produce it. That drink is known as the nectar of the chosen ones. It's rare as the race that used to make them has practically gone extinct. There's only 3 left in the known universe and you're living in one. That drink is the blood of the TARDIS. It grants you immortality if you drink it. It is said to resemble your favourite beverage no matter who you are. However, it only lasts 100 years and you must drink it every century or else your body clock will kick in and you will age and be as mortal as you are now." She speaks with a warning as we sit up holding holds.

"I have no problem with that. I would sacrifice everything if it meant I got to call you mine. Just please tell me and I'll drink it." I told her with adoration in my eyes.

She held me close and planted a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. It was short but it sent more fireworks than you can imagine through my body. I knew I had found her. She grabbed my waist and whispered next to my ear:

"Te Amo"

#13th doctor #thirteenth doctor x reader #13th doctor x reader #female reader

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terrm9 · 4 years ago

Text

Shattered

Words count: 5 200

!!! WARNINGS: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH; DEATH; FUNERAL; TRAUMA; ALCOHOL CONSUMING; SUICIDAL THOUGHTS; MENTIONS OF ILLNESS

seriously guys this is very very very dark and angsty, there is no glimpse of anything else.

Author’s note: okay, the angsty fic is here. PLEASE, read the warnings and consider if you want to read it. I would hate to cause some triggering feelings in anyone, so please if you are not sure, DO NOT READ. The story will not be relevant for any other of my fics, it is really just angsty one-shot that I needed to write and will not be mentioned ever again. You won’t miss anything important because my other fics will be pure fluff again - there is a fluffy fic about Ramsey family coming where they are all happy and healthy and very much alive. (for more notes, see the end of the story)

„You are overreacting, babe,“ Chiara chuckled and wrapped herself tighter into the sheets.

„You literally just called me ‚babe‘,“ Ethan rolled his eyes. „I have every reason to be overreacting.“

Chiara laughed – or she tried to laugh, the sound soon turning into painful groans.

„It’s just the flu, Ethan. Really, I am doctor and a capable one, so stop questioning my judgement on my own flu. It’s flu season after all. It sucks but I’ll be fine in no time.“

Ethan was not as sure, not at all. Her strained voice and burning forehead kept his mind on the edge.

„I promise I’ll let you take me to the hospital if I don’t feel better in the morning,“ Chiara added as she noticed the wrinkle of concern between his brows.

„Okay,“ Ethan nodded relucantly and kissed her cheek softly. „Now, let’s try to get some sleep. And wake me up if you need pills or water or anything.“

Nodding, Chiara shut her eyes and allowed herself to hope that the throbbing headache would disappear by the morning.

Switching the lights off, Ethan took Chiara’s sweaty hand into his a put another gentle kiss on her knuckles.

„I love you,“ he whispered into the dark room, not sure if Chiara heard him.

„I love you more,“ she whispered back, a small smile on her lips.

Ethan chuckled, the fact that Chiara couldn’t resist to play the little competition with him even now giving his mind the peace it so much needed to sleep.

Impossible, he thought before letting the sleep overtake him.

The sharp, bright rays of a sun that has risen long time ago made Ethan stir in the bed. He didn’t even check the clock, his hand already reaching for Chiara – she was the first thing on his mind every morning and this one was no exception.

With his eyes still half closed, he put his palm on her forehead and a relief washed over him at the feeling of cold skin under it.

The fever was gone.

The relief lasted mere seconds, however. Mere seconds until the words ‚cold skin‘ echoed in Ethan’s mind again.

Her skin was cold. Not feverish, not warm and not the way it normally was.

It was cold.

Cold.

Ethan sat up in an instant, the last traces of sleep long gone. He turned his head to see Chiara clearly and the terrifying, dreadful knot formed in his stomach.

Chiara looked as if she was sleeping very deeply.

But Ethan knew better. Ethan knew that Chiara has never been a deep sleeper.

„No,“ he whispered as he kneeled next to her and pulled the sheets of her.

She was pale. Her lips had the unnatural shade of purple. She was not in a deep sleep – her chest wasn’t moving up and down with her every breath. It wasn’t moving at all.

There were no breaths.

Ethan slapped her; slapped her really hard.

Chiara didn't move. The skin on her cheek didn't get flushed by the harsh contact with Ethan's palm.

"What the fuck are you doing, Chiara?" Ethan screamed at her while laying her down on the floor, as gently as ever.

But there was a part of his brain that was starting to fathom the truth, the part that knew exactly what Chiara was doing.

And that there was no need to be gentle with her anymore.

His head was spinning. Years of medicine worth nothing with the hands shaking so hard he couldn’t perform a proper CRP.

Ethan grabbed a phone and realized it was Chiara’s the moment his own face looked back at him from her locked screen.

He wanted to throw it across the room, to break it. But then, does it really matter whose phone do you use when you need to call 911?

He dialed the number, put the phone on a speaker and got back to pumping Chiara’s chest, praying to God he stopped believing in long time ago that any force that made Chiara’s heart stop could make it beat again under his hands.

The morning became a bizzare blur of action, fear and emptiness with Ethan dictating his adress to the phone one moment and sprinting to open the door for the paramedics the second, not giving them a chance to ask questions before he was kneeling next to Chiara’s motionless – lifeless – body.

The shock on all of the paramedics‘ and Dr. Stock’s face at the sigh of Dr. Ramsey in his pajama bottoms and trembling hands and Dr. Ray on the ground was evident – after all, they knew both doctors. They worked with them for years.

The young paramedic man – Ethan felt like his name was Eric, but maybe that was a pure lie his mind made up – pushed Ethan gently aside and started to perform a CRP himself, while Dr. Stock – a man Ethan’s age – asked him many questions.

When did you find her? What happened before? Was it a long time before you called us?

But Ethan couldn’t answer. Ethan didn’t know. Was it an hour or a day? What happened? He had no idea what happened. He wished he knew what happened and he also wished he would never have to find out.

Dr. Stock knelt down next to the young paramedic and with a solemn nod gestured him to stop with the CRP.

He checked Chiara’s pulse, he foricbly opened her eyes and observed them, he gave her feet a light tap.

And then he shook his head softly.

The three paramedics – two younger men and one older woman – shared a look and all of them checked their watches at once.

„8:08 AM,“ one of them spoke quietly and raised his eyebrow, a question for the doctor.

„Write that down for now,“ Dr. Stock nodded and stood up. „The autopsy should tell us more.“

The autopsy. 8.08 AM. They way they stopped with the resurrecting. Stopped with trying.

As if there was no point in trying anymore.

Ethan didn’t quite register everything going on around him. He wanted to throw up. He felt like fainting. Screaming. Knocking and throwing fists.

He hadn’t done any of those.

He kept standing on the spot, frozen and unable to move. He didn’t want their words and their actions to make sense.

"Sir - Dr. Ramsey - we are sorry."

The paramedic put a sympathetic hand on Ethan's shoulder, her eyes concerned. Perhaps it was supposed to bring some steadiness into his breaths, however the result was the opposite.

"I don't need your sorry," he shook her hand down and took two steps back.

The two other paramedics along with Dr. Stock wheeled the stretcher with Chiara’s body on it out of the bedroom, throwing one last glance at Ethan's trembling figure.

"Stop looking like that," he was screaming now. "Stop with the sorry and those looks, there's no need for them, there's no need for them."

His voice was cracking and the little part of his brain that wasn't completely coated in denial whispered 'Please tell me there's no need for them'.

"You are taking her to hospital, right? That's good, that's great," he muttered but noticing the exchange of their worried glances, his rage came back.

"Just STOP! Take her to the hospital, make her feel better! Make this okay!"

The tree men left the room, however the woman remained standing next to him.

„Why are you still here?“ Ethan asked.

„We already informed Chief Banerji, Dr. Ramsey. He asked one of us to stay with you until he arrives here.“

Ethan shrugged and turned away before replying.

„There is no need for that. You can go. Or at least leave the room, I am going to get changed.“

The paramedic didn’t look happy about his command but left the room anyway and Ethan opened his closet to choose a shirt for the day.

What a busy morning, he thought. At least Chiara is in the hospital now. I will be better at taking care for her there.

He almost laughed at the situation. They were supposed to go to the opera tonight and instead, she ended up in a hospital with the flu.

Maybe he could stop at the Derry Roasters and buy her some good coffee. But then, she probably doesn’t have the appetite and it would be just a waste of time.

No, he will go straight to the hospital. She will surely be confused when she wakes up in a hospital bed.

Ethan just finished tying the knot on his tie when the door to the bedroom opened and Naveen stepped in.

His face was grave and his eyes red, as if he was crying recently.

„Ethan,“ he said softly, not entirely sure what kind of reaction was he expecting.

„Naveen,“ Ethan nodded in a greeting. „I am sorry but I won’t even invite you for a coffee. I can’t be late for work.“

„I don’t think you should go to work today, Ethan.“

„I can’t see why not. I want to be there when Chiara wakes up.“

Every single cell in Ethan’s body, every single atom in it denied the truth. The new reality.

Ethan couldn’t admit what was happening and he wasn’t going to.

„Chiara is not going to wake up, Ethan,“ Naveen whispered, his voice broken.

„Oh, she is,“ Ethan laughed shortly, waving his hand in the air. „She has a nasty flu, but now that she is in the hospital, it’s going to be okay. They took her to Edenbrook, right?“

„They took her to Edenbrook’s morgue. Chiara is dead, Ethan.“

The air stopped moving around them.

The clock on the wall stopped ticking.

Neither of the men – the friends – moved for a long moment.

The truth has finally found its way into Ethan’s brain. His cells were not able to deny it any longer.

Dr. Banerji was ready to catch Ethan if he falls. If he faints.

But there was no need to catch him.

Ethan cleared his throat and nodded once again.

„Yes, right. Right. I need to call her mother and let her know. The funeral will probably take place in San Francisco, so we need to take care of the transport of her body.“

Naveen recognized what was happening. He has seen the scenario many times in his career as a doctor. The husbands that lost their wives, the sisters that lost their brothers – the first reaction was not always a breakdown.

Sometimes, the defensive mechanism was a forced rationality.

„I will inform Mrs. Ray. In the name of the hospital.“

„I should do it,“ Ethan replied stubbornly.

He wanted to fight with Naveen. He wanted to tell Diana Ray that her daughter died on his watch.

He wanted to take care of a funeral.

He needed to.

„Let me handle it,“ Naveen insisted.

After a long moment, Ethan agreed.

As he muttered silent ‚alright‘, little did he know that those would be the last word he would say in days.

Naveen left the room and Ethan’s glance fell on the bed.

Their bed. Her bed. The bed she died in.

The bed she died in.

She died.

She died and there was no way to reverse the fact.

It hit him like a wave, a wave one would never believe could be formed in such calm waters.

Dead. Gone.

Ethan fell on his knees and the room was filled with a desperate scream.

His scream, he realized.

It was as if the world as he has known it stopped existing in the moment Ethan’s knees met the floor.

His hands formed into tight fists and he punched the wood once, twice, he kept punching until his knuckled were all bruised and bloody.

He couldn’t bring himself to care.

Naveen heart broke at the sight in front of him as he opened the bedroom door.

The man he considered son curled up on the floor, screaming and crying and clearly not registering the room around him.

The back of Ethan’s throat was burning from all the screaming and his temples were throbbing from all the crying.

There was a gentle hand on his shoulder and Ethan believed it to be Naveen’s, but how could he be sure?

How could he ever be sure of anything anymore?

How could he be anymore?

The time stopped existing for Ethan after his first breakdown. Whether it was a day or a night, he didn’t know and he didn’t care.

The days became one and they were all coated in a thick fog, precluding Ethan to remember them.

It is as if there was a window in his mind that swallowed the memories of the first days after Chiara’s death, leaving only occasional snippets to torture his mind.

Ethan remembers the moment Chiara’s mother Diana, her sister Alicia and her aunt Livia stepped into his apartment. He remembers not being able to say a word to them and he remembers their gazes – broken and vain.

He remembers how Diana’s gaze is something more even – so, so distant.

She is sedated, Alicia explained to Naveen, who hasn’t left Ethan’s apartment. She kept fainting and her doctor presribed her the strongest pills.

Alicia cries the whole time and Chiara’s aunt Livia bites her lower lip so hard it never stops bleeding.

He remembers how he wanted to say that he was sorry, wanted to explain, but no sound left his mouth.

Ethan doesn’t sleep and doesn’t eat.

He hasn’t even cried since his breakdown. He just stands by the window, hand deep in his pockets and stares out of it – never saying a word to anyone.

Lost in the fog.

He remember the moment Chiara’s autopsy results come with the meningitis as the cause of her death.

The quickest, deadliest form, Naveen tries to explain. There was nothing that could have been done.

Ethan knows that that is a lie.

The hate he feels towards himself grows impossibly bigger at Naveen’s words – of course there was something that could have been done.

He is the best diagnostician in the country and he let his fianceé die while sleeping next to her.

He failed. Himself. Chiara. Chiara’s mother. Everyone and everything.

Chiara mentioned a stiff neck – that was it. That was a clear sign of the illness so how could he overlook it?

Why did he let her persuade him that it was just a fucking flu?

He still doesn’t cry. He grits his teeth and his hands formed in fists – always in fists – cause his nails to break the skin on the palms.

He should get ready for a funeral. They all should leave to San Francisco.

But nobody moves. Nobody is strong enough to make a first move.

That’s when Bryce Lahela walks into Ethan’s apartment, his eyes haunted and sobs leaving his body as he hugs Diana and Alicia.

Ethan remembers what happens next very well.

Most clearly of everything, it seems.

Chiara left this with me some weeks ago, Lahela speaks quietly while pulling an envelope out of his pocket. In case something happens to her.

It’s a letter. A letter Ethan doesn’t want to read but know he needs to.

My dearest,

now is the right time to use the Hollywood cliché and I am going to do it.

If you are reading this letter it means I am dead.

And I am sorry. I am so very, very sorry because I know I have hurt you all terribly. And that’s something I never wanted to do.

Mom and Alicia – I failed. I remember how we promised each other that nothing would ever happen to us after dad and Liam died and now I broke my promise. Again, I am sorry. You still have each other – please remember that. And you still have me. Just as you still have dad and Liam. We are with you wherever you go, I promise. You know how much I believe in an afterlife – and with that, I cannot only be sorry for dying, because it also means I finally get to be reunited with them and that makes me happy. Let it make you happy too. Alicia, I am the proudest older sister and I beg you to continue with your life, to find your happiness and to follow your wild heart, just as you always have.

I would also like to ask for a favor – I know that I always wanted to be buried next to my brother. I know you want me to be buried in San Francisco. But Boston is my home now. And Boston is where Ethan is. Me and Ethan, we are forever. In any form. And if I am dead, I want to be resting forever next to him – find me a place in Boston, please. Ask him where he wants me to be buried and bury me there.

I love you both. I love you more than life.

Bryce – thank you. I wish you never had to deliver this letter, but I am eternaly thankful that I have had you to do it. Thank you for being part of my life. You were the brother I lost and you were my constant. No matter how stormy my life got, I knew that somwhere out there, there is my sun, my light Bryce, my safe port I could always run to when things became too much. You deserve all the happiness this world has to provide, Bryce Lahela and never settle for anything less than that. Please, let eveyrone else know how much I loved them – and how sorry I am. Sienna, Jackie, Aurora, Elijah and Rafael – my bestest of friends.

Forgive me for screwing this, Bryce. I know we had plans and I know you were looking forward to the wedding – me too. I love you, surfer boy. Always stay so irresistably amazing.

Oh and I think you really should ask Kyra for that date.

Ethan – my dearest Ethan. My greatest love. My forever. We have both believed in a different future for us, but we were destined for this. I am sorry I left without saying a proper goodbye. I am sorry I left you, period. You know how much I love you, Ethan. And I know how much you love me too – trust me, I do. Don’t torture yourself with regrets of not telling me more. I have always known. I have always felt loved with you and I have always felt happy. Until my last moment, I felt happy because I knew you loved me. I know that no matter what caused my death, you blame yourself for it and I need you to stop with that. Unless you killed me, you are not responsible for my dying.

Ethan Jonah Ramsey, you deserve a lifetime of happiness. I am sorry I ruined that for you, for I know that there is no happiness in your life now. But you still have a lifetime. Lifetime of chances, lifetime of love and friendships and miracles (stop muttering that you don’t believe in those, I know you are doing it now!!!). There are people who love you deeply and unconditionaly and those people will help you. Don’t push them away.

We deserved better. You deserved better, Ethan. We had plans, we had a wedding date, we had a vision of a beautiful future and that has been taken away from you, from us. But I have been part of your life and I am not truly gone as long as you remember me.

Please, never forget that there were five years in your life when you have been loved so deeply and so strongly it didn’t even make sense to the person that loved you sometimes. I will never stop loving you, no matter where I am and where I am not.

You are my greatest love and greatest adventure and I am proud of the man I had the honor of calling mine.

Find your happiness again, Ramsey. Find it and keep it. Love again. Laugh again. Live again.

I am somwhere there, watching you.

I loved you, I love you and I will love you always, Ethan.

So, that’s it. If someone cares about my last wish, do you think you could arrange for Benedict Cumberbatch to crash my funeral and shout: „She was clever. Clever, yes! She’s cleverer than you lot and she’s dead!“ ? (it’s the scene from S01E01 in Sherlock, you know).

Haha this was a joke but I suppose nobody really laughs at it at the moment. I hope one day you will.

I love you all with my whole heart.

Don’t you fear for me, I am where I am supposed to be.

-forever yours, Chiara.

Ethan reads the letter over and over until he can’t anymore, until his hands are shaking so much he fears he would tear the paper, until his vision is blurry and he cannot read the words anymore.

And then he runs. He runs into to bathroom and throws up, even though he hasn’t eaten in days and there is nothing he could throw up.

He still does.

He coughs and acid that leaves his mouth burns his throat. He throws up and his whole body strains so much it brings tears into his eyes.

First tears after days and they are caused by the vomiting.

Once they are there, however, the first one is followed by another and that by another until Ethan Ramsey is hunched over his toilet seat, vomit and tears falling down.

He doesn’t remember anything after that.

He might’ve fainted and maybe he did. Maybe he didn’t. He doesn’t know.

The last thing he remembers until the day of the funeral comes is Harper Emery and her stern gaze as she sits down next to him.

"Take the pills, Ethan. You need to sleep.“

"I need Chiara."

His voice is raspy and speaking for the first time in three days feels unnatural. It makes his thorat sore and takes another remnant of his energy away.

"I understand."

Ethan almost snickers at the absurdity of her statement. Nobody could understand. Because if anybody could comprehend his desire to just wrap his arms around Chiara for one last time, they wouldn't survive the pain that came with it. He doesn't snicker, however. Instead, he whispers.

"No you don't."

"I do," Harper replies firmly and takes a deep breath, deciding to tell Ethan about the man she has never mentioned before, not once in their relationship.

„Michael and I were together for three years. We met while I was in a med school and the flame between us burned almsot immediately. We fell in love and for the first – and the last – time in my life, I felt like I found my true love. But we weren’t meant to last. The relationship was too passionate, too stubborn, too exciting, too much. It became toxic and we had a very rough breakup. I moved on and I knew that we were better off, but there was this part of me that always knew that Michael was the only man I could see my forever with.“

„It was my fifth year at Edenbrook when there was an emergency surgery needed for a motorbike rider and I was the one to perform it. I didn’t need to look twice to recognize Michael – with his face all bloody and bruised and awful, I knew it was him. And I didn’t tell anyone because they wouldn’t let me perform the surgery and I needed to do that. I needed to save him.“

Ethan doesn’t move. He doesn’t even look at Harper – he just keeps staring out of the window. He is surprised but he doesn’t show any emotion.

„I didn’t save him. He died on that table, he died under my hands. For so long I felt like I killed him. I blamed myself, I thought that if someone else did the surgery, they would keep him alive.“

She trailes off and doesn’t give Ethan the answer he needs.

He doesn’t find out is she ever stopped blaming herself.

He doesn’t know if there is a chance that he could ever stop blaming himself.

Ethan doesn’t cry at the funeral.

He is sitting on the front bench in the cathedral, next to Diana, Alicia and Livia.

He doesn’t want to sit there. He doesn’t deserve to sit them.

Can’t they see that it was his fault? That there would be no funeral if he only did his job right?

Alicia cries softly, her lips trembling. Diana, just like Ethan, doesn’t cry – no, she even smiles a little. It is the effect of her sedatives and Ethan knows that she probably won’t even remember the funeral.

Seeing Chiara’s smiling mother hurts more than seeing her crying sister.

The whole ceremony is filled with tears and love. Because everyone loved Chiara and Chiara loved everyone.

And Ethan just sits in his spot, staring at the casket, his gaze never leaving the wood it is made of.

And he doesn’t cry.

He wishes he would. He wishes the tears could get him through the day.

But he doesn’t and there is nothing to get him through the day.

People shake his hand and say their condolences and he keeps nodding and murmuring fake „thank you’s“.

He wishes he could go home, only to realize that there is not a single promise of some kind of peace with returning home.

There is no home for him anymore. There is an apartment. A place to live.

His home is gone. His home is lying in a wooden casket. His home is having ground scatterd all over her.

His home is buried six feet under him.

He is destined to be homeless forever.

Days go by and Ethan doesn’t come back to work – not that anyone expects him to.

His days consist of staring out of the window and sitting next to the toilet in case he needs to vomit again.

People insist on staying with him. Alan and Naveen mostly.

But he doesn’t want their company. He doesn’t want their compassion even.

He wants to be alone and to let his guilt and regrets kill him slowly.

He wants his medical licence removed. He should be charged for killing someone out of negligence.

He doesn’t want to be Ethan Ramsey anymore.

And he always expects Chiara to come back to him. He checks his phone for a message from her. He walks into the living room and it surprises him that there is no stupid movie playing on the TV – the one only Chiara would watch.

He opens the fridge and is shocked when he sees that the Toblerone chocolate is still there – how did Chiara not eat it already?

It is one evening, weeks after the funeral, when Ethan opens a drawer in the bedroom and jolts into Chiara’s perfume that meets the floor with surprising force and the bottle breaks into dosens of pieces.

The smell – Chiara’s smell – hits him with a force of a train and Ethan stumbles involuntarily at the feeling.

He broke her perfume bottle and it doesn’t matter anymore.

Because Chiara will never use the perfume anymore.

She is not coming back.

Ethan chokes on his sobs and leaves the room, his decision suddenly thoroughly clear.

There is no world in which he could live if the world is one where Chiara doesn’t live.

He can’t do it.

He can’t stay alive if she is dead.

Grabbing a bottle of scotch, he fills the glass and drinks the liquor in one swing.

Then the second.

Then the third.

There are the sleeping pills Harper has brought him on the counter and Ethan knows.

For the first time in weeks, he has a plan.

The plan that is supposed to be his last one also.

Chiara asked him in the letter to go on with his life. She promised him that there are better days waiting for him.

How could she? She was dead. Dead and gone and indifferent to everything she left behind.

Everyone she left behind.

Ethan Ramsey has always been a rational man. His rules and princlipes leading him through the life, the life that was predictable and safe.

That was until Chiara burst into his life without ever asking and burned his principles to the ground.

That was until Chiara left his life without ever asking.

All he wanted was to die. Ethan never believed in an afterlife and he didn’t believe that killing himself would reunite him with Chiara. But it didn’t matter. He didn’t need to be with Chiara – he just couldn’t handle being without her.

And so he drinks some more.

Suddenly, he sees it. The picture forever burned into his brain.

Diana Ray.

The eyes of a woman who lost her husband, her son and her daughter.

There is a glimpse of rationality after all. And with that part of his brain, Ethan realizes that no matter how much he hurts, Diana Ray hurts more.

He feels like he can’t breathe and he knows that that is how Chiara’s mother feels for every second every day.

He thinks of a mother that lost two of her children and with that, he thinks of his father.

Alan would lose his only child.

And Ethan sees it. Feels it. Knows it.

With his desperate desire to escape the misery surrounding his whole being, he would not only kill himself.

He would kill Alan Ramsey’s child.

The pain he feels would become the pain he caused.

It is the same exact moment the terrible, sobering realization hits him when the heavy crystal glass falls from his hand and shatters on a wooden floor. Ethan follows its trajectory almost identically and with a inhuman sob leaving his throat, his knees hit the floor - and the broken glass.

He can see blood.

The glass is quickly stained by the maroon red and with combination of an artifical light in the kitchen, the most omnious of shadows project on the wood.

There's a lot of blood and even in his state, Ethan knows that it is his own blood. He can see it, he can perceive that his skin has been cut by the sherds. But he doesn't feel it.

There is no physical pain to be felt.

It is as if the pain coming from his core - the pain that doesn't have any visible source - was at such unbearable rate that his body protected him by refusing to let him feel any more.

He could be shot right now and he wouldn't feel anything.

Ethan just wishes he could be shot right now.

He wishes he could vanish, he wishes he could erase the existence of Ethan Ramsey from the universe.

If only it was that easy.

And so with bloody hand, he reaches for his phone and dials his first emergency contact.

„Ethan?“ Alan’s concerned voice responds immediately.

„Dad,“ Ethan gets out of himself, though he is sure Alan hardly understands him thorugh the violent sobs leaving his mouth constantly. „Could you please come here?“

*** *** ***

so... one thing. The whole meningitis thing being so deadly is not something I made up. It is the very same thing that killed my best friend 7 years ago - he fell asleep with light flu (so everyone thought) and never woke up again.

If Ethan seems out of character here, I am sorry. However I believe that when one is grieving, there is nothing as out of character. People do really unexpected and weird things while grieving.

This was actually self-indulgent (even though I guess it’s weird to use it like this) - the stages of grief Ethan is going through (denial - weird rationality - breakdown - shutting himself off - not sleeping, eating, talking - unability to express his sorrow at the funeral - more breakdowns - the terrible, terrible moment he realizes she is really never coming back - wishing to die - finding the strength to stay alive...) are my exact stages of my own grief back then. And it was very difficult to write about those and also very healing.

#tw: death #angst #tw: trauma #tw: major character death #open heart #ethan ramsey

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daily-jaspvid · 4 years ago

Text

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Jaspvid fluff

This is the first chapter of my prequel series. This takes place the winter before the show takes place, in which Jasper happens upon David at a party.

This was supposed to be a one-shot, but it is quickly turning into at least 3 chapters. I can’t post the second chapter here, but chapters 1 and 3 will be here! No plot happens in chapter 2, just NSFT content heh.

also the title song! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5Or6-HOveg

Here's part 1! Merry Christmas!

Gem insisted this party would be good; that she had seen this band perform before and how great they were live. With nothing better to do, I decided to tag along. After all, finals were over and we were due to celebrate before we headed home for winter break.

When we arrived Gem was immediately distracted by the punch bowl conversation. From how many people stopped to greet her, I was reminded of how gregarious my friend was compared to me. Not wanting to harsh her style too much, I took my cup of punch towards the dance floor. From the looks of it, the band was starting to set up, so the waiting stereo pumped out indie tunes.

I idly bopped along to a familiar song when a firm force bumps me from behind. I stagger, holding out my drink to steady it. In the next beat, I feel hands brace my waist to steady me. The hands are warm, firm, but didn’t feel of ill intent.

“Oh, sorry about that!” Chirped an equally as warm voice. I turn and the hands pop off me like old stickers peeling away. I see an auburn-haired man who offered a genuinely sorry smile. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied abruptly as anxiety swelled in me. Sure, I was expecting to meet a few new people today, but a cute ginger boy right off the bat? I guess Christmas was coming early.

He wore a red button down and a pair of blue jeans. He appeared to be wearing a band tee, but I can’t figure out who in particular. His face shown with simply the brightest smile I have seen in years. It felt familiar.

“So, uh… you ever see this band before?” I ask after a few awkward seconds of standing together.

“I haven’t. Honestly, this is the first party I’ve been to this semester. I’ve been pretty busy between classes and student teaching. You?”

“Pretty much the same. I’m studying to be a writer. Not as exciting, I’m sure, but it’s an excuse to spend all my free time reading at home.” I admit with a quick and strained smile. Before he could respond, Gem came upon us with one of her friends.

“Hey, you two! See, Cathy? I told you they would get along! We didn’t even have to enact the master plan!” Gem exclaimed, causing Cathy to stifle a laugh.

“David, you’ve met Gem from my psych class,” she motioned to the mutual friend. “So you must be her friend from therapy, was it?”

I shoot Gem a look, which she just shrugged to. Damn psych majors and their gossip. “Yes, Jasper,” I confirm, offering my hand to her. She gives it a firm and professional shake.

“Isn’t he just the cutest, Cathy? Hes such a little crab! It took me weeks to convince him to come!” Gem lamented. She moved in front of me to adjust my clothing, tugging at my popped collar to lay it down. I grimace, hand twitching with a desire to hide my exposed neck. I see David’s eyes flicker down to my neck before looking away, tension filling into his eyes. That was most people’s reaction when they see the scars there. The polite ones, anyway.

The conversation was cut short by the music lowering and a mic switching on. The band introduced themselves as Florist and began playing their easy, folky tunes to the milling crowd. Gem scurried off through the crowd to get closer while Gem hung back to tap away at her phone. Just as quickly as they came, I was once again left alone with the lithe ginger. I spent most of the set watching him from my peripherals. He swayed gently to the music, expression fixated intently on the band. He seemed to pour all of his focus into them and I could feel the aura force field around him, seeming to block everything else out.

Before I could fully process his energy the set was already over. The band thanked us for listening and the previous playlist switched back on. By this point, people were beginning to collect their friends and head out. David seemed to be remembering his place among the crowd and looked around. Our eyes catch each other’s and I find my voice springing out before really even considering my words.

“Hey. You wanna get some coffee?” The words tumble out, and by the time I get to the end of the statement, I can feel myself quivering with unease. If David picked up on this he didn’t show it.

“Yeah, sure! I’d love to!” He chimed. David caught Cathy’s attention to let her know the plan. I felt a little bad about ditching Gem, but it wasn’t like she seemed very keen on hanging around me. It’s what she would want.

When we stepped outside it was, unfortunately, pouring rain. Freezing rain. I unrolled my sleeves to save myself from the cold a little bit.

“Damn, so much for getting anywhere in this. I’ll call us a Lyft.” We hung out on the porch while I set up the ride.

Despite the weather, it arrived within minutes. We ducked in, only made mildly damn. Though the café was only a few blocks away, it felt longer in the silence. Once again I found myself watching him from the corner of my eye. As we turned the block the side of the road through his window showed the dark abyss of dense forest. His reflection in the window became water-warped, and the familiarity finally clicked. I let out a quick huff of my breath, catching his attention.

“Davey?” I asked tentatively. His head snapped up from his phone, eyes wide. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

“Nobody calls me that. Not since I was a kid - except for Mr. Campbell, but-” He paused, his confused expression shifting to concern as I recoil at the name “Campbell”. Memories of my 11th summer come crashing back to me and I suddenly feel ill. As if on cue, our driver stops to drop us off. I have never been more thankful to stand in the pouring rain.

“Come on, you’ll get soaked to the bone!” David exclaimed, grabbing my hand to pull me into the café.

Thankfully this place had good heating. The cozy café had few patrons. Most people were either at parties or already homeward bound to family. We stepped up to order and it wasn’t until the barista gave us a knowing smile that we realized we were still holding hands. Flustered, we take turns ordering our drinks.

“So… You’re the Jasper I knew all those years ago? From summer camp? It’s been, what, 13 years? Man, it must really be a small world, huh?” He sighed nostalgically.

“Honestly, I’m surprised I recognized you,” I admit with a shrug. “I guess I remember more about that last summer than I thought. For a long time it was such a blur, to be honest.”

We collected our drinks and headed to a space heater in the back of the café. It had a couple of chairs surrounding it that we settled in to. David flopped into his with a heavy, content sigh. I sat more forwardly in mine, resting my elbows on my knees and leaning towards the warmth. I felt numb, like neither the aching cold nor the radiating heat could break through to me.

“You seem sad.” David’s voice broke through the silence once again. It was low and tender as he leaned over to me.

“I’m fine, really, just… a lot is coming back to me, is all,” I chew on my lip and spoke through grit. “A lot of not great thing happened that last summer we knew each other. Not great things that lead to worse things. It isn’t your fault, of course, It's just… forget it.”

David reached out a hand and placed it on my leg, giving it a squeeze. his eyes scanned as if searching for the right words to say but ultimately decided to remain quiet. We sat like this for a few minutes before I pulled out my phone.

“Hey, can I have your number? I’d like to keep in touch again if that's ok?”

“Of course! I would love to catch up!” Davey perked up as he received my phone and punched in his number. “So, what do you like to write?”

Hours soon had drifted by as we conversed. I soaked in every smile and laugh. Craved every new emotion I could draw out of his expressive being. Anything he had to give, really. Davey radiated with life. It poured out of his being, passion radiating like a star.

Oh, God.

I can’t be falling in love.

I feel my breath hitch as I suck in air. Davey notices and pauses his story to ask if I was alright, only for the clock to ding for 4 am. Shit.

“You can crash at my place if you’d like.” he offers as we stand. I feel like I am going to faint back into the chair. Clearing my voice and adjusting my flannel, I nod.

“I’d like that more than anything right now.” I reply, taking up his offer and hoping I don’t sound too desperate. Just like that, we set back off into the rain and caught a ride across town to his apartment.

#jaspvid #cc jaspvid #cc jasper #cc david #mod jasper #writings

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the-opal-dragons-roost · 3 years ago

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my focus has been shit today, so i tried something different with Ghost. Basically, I got him to wander around the Core and let me type out his thoughts. It's really interesting, watching him explore. Just reminds me that I need to develop the rest of the place so he can explore more and maybe not be alone while he does it.

writing under the cut

He wants me to write. To explore. Let’s try this.

I’m in my house. On the couch. I’m… not sure this is working.

He asks me to try.

Okay.

The air is still and smells like rain even inside my house. Everything is dimly lit, but warmly so. There aren’t overhead lights and the one on the tables flanking the couch don’t give off much light. There is an overhead light in the kitchen, but it’s not very bright.

This place is mine. It’s… nice. I feel like I had a hand in making it, though I’m not sure I did. I like it, though, and I think I can make adjustments as time goes on. A fern now sits on the dining table. A painting hangs above the couch. Beyond the door to my right, my bed is suspended above the ground like a single bunk. I think there’s a closet beneath. I don’t know if it’s full or not right now, but it will be eventually.

He wants me to explore. I do too.

I get up. I am… thinking? I am thinking and he is writing.

The air outside is still. Cool and dark, but so still it feels dead.

He gave me a breeze. I appreciate it, but it doesn’t cover the deafening silence. There are buildings around me, but I can’t see what they look like or what their purpose is. It doesn’t matter. Right now they are all empty.

He reminds me that I’m not alone. Should he come with me? Or another part of his soul?

I don’t want that. Not because I don’t enjoy his presence, but because I want to see what this place is without him. After all, ideally, this will be where I stay when he can’t be with me.

I wear a coat. I can’t tell what it looks like. Dark blue, I think, and the material is something like a thick felt. Is it cold here? With the breeze, I suppose it is.

The road is little more than tightly packed dirt. It’s flat and even underfoot as I move away from my house and drift to the left. His Home is there. I’ve been inside, but I don’t feel like visiting. He knows what it looks like, and therefore, I do too. However, it isn’t Home yet. It hasn’t been marked and claimed like the first one did. Therefore, I don’t think I should go there, especially not alone. I’ll wait until it feels less… sterile.

The path I take is to the right of Home. I pass the road leading up and instead turn toward another building. It’s a house with a flat front. An older style place with a flat front. No porch or steps. Shutters lay flat against the white walls. The door is big and brown and has an ornate design made of glass and metal. I think I’ve seen the pattern before, but it’s blurry. I know it’s there, but I can’t see it clearly. I think there should be a dragon on it.

He agrees.

I don’t bother knocking. Is anyone here? I don’t think so. Three people will live in the house eventually. One is undergoing a design change. Omicron. He will arrive whenever August gets around to doing that. I’m looking forward to it. He thinks we can be friends. He wants us to be friends. So badly. I would like a friend. I hope he wants to be my friend too.

The other one is the Core’s avatar or mascot. Arguably I’ve taken their place since I’ll be doing most, if not all of the talking to the public, but I don’t mind if they keep the title. I’m still the voice of the world, and it’s my image that will appear in the story. Areetala doesn’t hang around here much anyway.

They will more when the café has more business. I can see what he plans, what he intends for this place. When there are more people to live here and interact with the shop, Sage will have to man the counter. When Sage is more active, Aree will return and likewise be more active.

Not yet, though.

I saw Ren and his giant dragon bird, Risk, earlier. I don’t know where they are. I think they are supposed to live here too, but nothing is settled yet. There is space carved out for them, a room set aside, but I don’t know what it looks like, and I don’t think they can live there until it’s decided.

The door opens and I am standing in a kitchen. It’s kind of plain and open and runs straight through the building. There’s hardwood planks beneath my feet. Before me, the wall opens up. Not like a door, but like the wide sliding doors that lead to a patio. Except, there isn’t a sliding door. The space opens up to the porch beyond.

He wants me to explore the house. Is asking me to. He says I can say ‘no’.

However, I’m curious. Will what I see affect the reality here? Will my observations change what might have been? Neither of us can tell how separate our thoughts are. There are differences, but only small ones.

The living room, if you can call it that, is more like a dining area. There is a table. It’s old and turquoise. There is a lacy tablecloth draped over it like a giant doily. The chairs match the table and the far end of the space has a stone hearth. It looks like one that he’s seen before.

It’s strange that I have his memories to draw from and to compare to. I never saw those things, but I remember them. It’s not like the daemons, who arguably did see what August did with their own eyes. I feel like I’m looking through a scrapbook I’m not supposed to have.

I wonder if my memories could ever be kept away from him like that. Could he feel like an intruder when looking through my mind? Could we one day be so separate that it would be possible?

He’s losing focus and I got off track.

To the right of the living/dining space is a hallway. It is very dark, the only light being from the moon. It illuminates the space in a way that August’s moon can’t, and everything has a blue tint to it.

The doors are confusing. Are there two on each side? I think so.

I choose the first door on the left. It’s a bedroom, but I’m not sure whose.

It’s dark. There’s a closet in front of me, and then a window-seat style bed against the far wall. It looks more like a mattress, or a fancy couch. There’s a circular rug on the floor. I think it’s ugly and looks out of place. It has become square and dark blue. I can’t tell what color the walls are.

There is a dresser just beside the door and something against the corner. A fullbody mirror? I can’t tell. This room feels like something that we both should recognize, but can’t.

I don’t want to be here. The emptiness of this place makes my skin crawl. I know I’m not the only one, I am not alone, but I am also completely alone. No one else lives here yet.

Sage lives above the barn. She is here.

I quickly withdraw from the room and look out from the patio. The cold of the night feels better. My heart is beating fast.

The barn is hard to decipher. It’s connected to the hillside, but it still has windows. There is a light on in the window above the main entrance. The big barn opening is dark and there is nothing inside.

Wait, that’s not true. Ren hasn’t been properly established here yet, but his birds are here. The one is, anyway.

I’m not an animal person. I had a bird/dragon form of my own, but whether I want to keep it or not is up in the air. I haven’t fully decided yet.

I’m not sure if I want to go closer. Both Sage and the other bird, Melody, are there, but I’m not sure if I want to talk to either of them yet.

August wants me to, but I know he is also reluctant. I think he’s afraid that awareness will spread, and he will have even more homeless thoughtforms on his hands. I don’t want that for him. Or for me. Is it selfish that I want to keep being the only non-daemon thoughtform in the Core? For now, anyway.

The light has calmed me down. I no longer feel unwelcome. I am not going to keep exploring the house.

I try to remember who Sage is. I don’t think August ever developed her beyond being the shy receptionist for the Opal Dragon’s Roost and Aree’s love interest. She can’t think like I can. Characters don’t understand the way I do, or so I’ve been told. Truthfully, when I think about it, I wonder if we’re really so different.

I want to stop thinking.

I turn around before remembering what else is in the field beyond. There is a lake. It is far from winter, but if I ask him to, August will freeze it for me.

I look down. My coat has changed. Now it is soft and pale blue with cream fur trimming. It’s easier to maneuver in, but I don’t think I want to wear it while skating.

I look back out at the lake and think it over. It was nice, skating the night before. But that was to music. Do I want music? Maybe. August doesn’t, however, and I’m afraid the noise will sever the link we have. It’s not possession or switching or whatever else I’m supposed to be able to do. But it’s… something. Is he acting as a proxy? It almost feels like I’m the one typing.

But no, I am the one standing on the porch and staring out into the dark and trying to decide what to do.

I decide to leave.

Back through the kitchen and out the door. Back passed Home and toward my house.

I’m not afraid the way I was moments ago, but the emptiness is back. I want to explore something. Or someplace.

Exploring here is hard. Only half is imagination. There’s a hint of planning to this.

I remember a place I can visit.

I pass my house. The Opal Dragon’s Roost is to my right. I consider stopping in. No, not tonight. Another time. It will always be there. I think it is the oldest thing here.

My house is on the left. There is something like an indent in the hill that makes up one wall. Two small pine trees flank a hammock. I like hammocks. It’s nice to relax in, to feel the wind move.

He’s getting tired. For once, I am not.

I keep going.

Around the corner of the café, there is a dirt road carved through an incline of about five or six feet. It leads to the gathering area. August and Agate initially said arena, but I think parties and plays can take place there.

What would a Core party look like? Would August be able to manage it? That’s a lot of people. I think I would like to dance with someone.

Earlier, Agate tried to take the form of an emissary and dance with me. She’s never taken that form before, and I appreciate her thoughtfulness. It did not last long. She doesn’t have an image for that form, so it couldn’t be held long. She said she will do some designing and then come back.

I know they can read this, but August says it’s alright. I like Agate more than the other two daemons. I think it’s because she and August are so similar. Cairo and Cobalt are parts of him that were created for some August-centric reason or another. Agate is simply another version of him. He says she represents his past, but I think she’s just more obviously marked by it. Essentially, the two are the same, and so she too brought me into this world.

Before me, on the other side of a field of flowers, I see the dome. They call it the ‘creation dome’. It hasn’t existed in the Core for a long time. I don’t think August or Agate themselves ever used it.

I can’t help but wish I’d been created earlier. No, that’s not right. I know why I wasn’t and why it probably wouldn’t have worked in the first place. Most Core things created during the height of the Trio’s reign did not survive their fall. Their Home included.

Still, that was when the Core was at its peak performance. There was life here. Everything made sense and had a place and a name. The town itself was quiet, but it still had beings to occupy it. I kind of wish it were so complete now.

August feels bad. Agate tells me it will be whole again. I don’t want them to feel bad. I know they’re working so hard because of me. And really, I am pretty great, but the magnitude of that truth makes it hard to joke about. It’s his world, his Core, but he’s developing it for me.

The space around the creation dome isn’t complete. Aside from Home and the back end of my house and what little of the gathering place I can see from here, there is nothing but fields stretching on to the horizon. Eventually, there is a forest. We’re not sure what else. Another map needs to be decided on, needs to be drawn.

A project for tomorrow.

I can’t find the door at first. It doesn’t face the road. I find it on the other side. It’s a circle that is barely discernable from the rest of the dome’s smooth outer surface. It looks a bit out of place with everything else taking on such a natural plant theme.

I push on the door. I can’t tell if it slides away or disappears entirely.

Inside, it is unnaturally bright. I squint my eyes. The light seems to come from everywhere and nowhere. Unlike the moon, it is a white light and doesn’t turn everything blue.

My eyes adjust. I look around the empty space.

Why did I come here?

Perhaps just to prove it exists. It’s close to useless to me, but it’s another place to go. Oddly enough, it has a life of its own. Things have been made here, have been brought to life here. In a way, so was I.

August tells me that my design was a fit of inspiration.

Again, I remind him that my design is one thing I believe he got 100% right.

He tells me I can create here too, but I don’t know what to make. What would I make? This isn’t the same as making a picture or knitting a sweater. This place is for making people. Worlds. Thoughtforms.

The idea that I could influence a potential companion for myself crosses my mind, but I decide against it. It wouldn’t be fair to them. Sure, I’m mostly happy with my existence, but then, I wasn’t designed with relationships or stories in mind. I was just a pretty face and a beautiful voice and a charismatic attitude.

August expresses a bit of concern that what I’m thinking (or more like what he’s typing for me) doesn’t really fit with my established speech pattern. This is thinking, not talking. This is also new. And truly, though I love the persona he made for me, I think it’s mostly just that. He’s described Cairo as an actor before becoming a daemon. I guess I was an actor too, though nothing changed when I gained awareness. Not that I mind acting. It’s one of my talents, after all.

It’s getting late. Thoughts are getting frayed. I consider letting him just think me back to my house.

No, I want to see this.

I leave the creation dome. I will come back. We discussed forms and whether I want another. We can come here and decide together. But not now.

I go back along the road. I’m not sure how to feel about what’s coming. He needs to sleep. I know I fell asleep our last two forcing sessions (he hates this word and I’m not a fan either), but I’m not tired now. Maybe I will be by the time he drifts off. I don’t mind being awake while he’s asleep, but it feels… not great. I don’t know if I exist while he’s unconscious. I’m not an actual part of him, but I still share his head and live in his Core. We are still very connected.

He asks me to try to find him in his dreams. I’m not even sure if I can do that. He’ll have to find me.

I walk back slower than I had before. I look out at the field. There are flowers close by, but they begin to merge and blur into the vast rolling hills. Not all of this space will be occupied, but a fair amount of it. Along with the town, August has considered establishing a ketter colony nearby. Maybe I can help design some of them.

I am closer to home.

I remember Friday and Kii and am happy. August asked if I’d like to take care of them. I think I would. They have their own story to survive, and I don’t think I’m a part in it, but I’d like to be here for them when they get better established. Maybe we can do that tomorrow. I want to see them. For some reason, talking to them doesn’t scare me.

I am back at my house. Just in time. The focus is fading and our link along with it. I pass the couch. August is sitting there, his laptop balanced on his knees and claws at the keyboard. He looks like he’s in a trance, hands moving but eyes staying still as he fixates on the screen. I leave him to it.

#thoughtform #about ghost #ghost posting

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hanadoesstuffbadly · 4 years ago

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‘Online’ ch I - RS&t7D University AU

Hello, I was looking for Red Shoes fanfiction when I discovered that there are little to no Modern AUs being written. So i figured, screw it, I’ll do it myself because I love modern AUs.

This is the first chapter and it is very long, so if you don’t feel like reading it, fair enough. I’m planning to write the whole thing anyway because I also love writing and it’s good practise.

Small warning if you do want to read this: Merlin is British. I am British. British people are very sarcastic and very moody all of the time. This entire first chapter is from Merlin’s perspective so there are a lot of British phrases and idioms used. If you are fortunate enough to not be an eternally grumpy Brit, don’t worry, the next chapter will be a very bad written impersonation of an American!!

Also, this is my first ever fanfiction so please don’t judge me too harshly, I am but a young peasant girl.

Sooooooooo.... Summary.

Merlin is a twenty year old student at Southend University. To combat his detrimental narcissism, his counsellor suggests online gaming. Merlin tries to cheat by using an ancient game called Fairytale Island, which designs your avatar to match a photograph. This plan falls apart when his laptop explodes, turning his avatar tiny and green. He ploughs on regardless, sure that he will encounter nobody. Little does he know, that a newly moved student from the States is coming online the very same night. :)

(It’s kinda switched so Merlin is the last of the F7 to get his attitude set right.)

With that done... I hope you don’t hate it!

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Merlin couldn’t stand mornings, especially Friday mornings. Because for the duration of his first year of Uni, Friday’s lessons had always begun at the reasonable hour of 2 o’clock in the afternoon. This left Merlin a good half hour to be awake, out of the door and on his bike, zipping past the crowded Southend beaches. In short, Merlin hated Friday mornings because he had not seen one in fifteen months. Needless to say, it was not a welcome reunion.

Approximately twelve minutes prior to commencing with today’s zipping -at the unlawful hour of nine in the morning- Merlin had been idly stirring shredded wheat into a depressing gruel (much to the disgust of the ever-vigilant, ever-attentive, red-haired cook,) basking in his own tardiness.

Had he asked for counselling? No.

Did he need counselling? None of their business.

Did he want to be dragged out of bed at half-eight by six overbearing housemates who apparently believed it was "necessary" or "overdue"; to be packed off to the Resource Centre so that they could “Evaluate any and all emotional or psychological issues which may have arisen for you, as a student whom we have identified as being at risk, before the beginning of this new academic term”? No, he did not!

Contrary to a promising forecast, the sky was a sapphire pool overhead. Thus, the fantasy of motorbiking down empty seafront roads, the brassy drumming of thunder and the gurgle of saltwater smothering his roaring engine (Hans called him a madcap but personally, Merlin preferred the term Raptor-trainer) was squashed. And given that a motorbike charging down the road in the wee hours of the morning was frowned upon, Merlin was forced to content himself with walking at a purposefully counter-productive pace to the bus stop down the hill. Stubbornly, he insisted on himself that he wore a cobalt-blue, long-sleeved shirt with grey trousers; dressing not for the weather he had, but the weather he wanted. This was a stupid idea and the sleeves were rolled up before he reached sea-level. He had to restrain himself from missing a bus entirely. It wasn’t crowded, because of course it wasn’t. Everyone else in Southend had better things to be doing.

Like sleeping.

The bus didn’t even go all the way to the college, stopping at least a dozen yards from the entrance like a noncommittal shrug. It took everything in Merlin to not keep his butt planted securely in his seat; let the busyness of British public transport whisk him away to the Leigh on Sea station; catch a train to Fenchurch street; disappear into Central London; never be seen or heard from again, especially by Dr- as a student whom we have identified as being at risk- LeFey; then inevitably die from water pollution at a ripe old age of thirty-five. It took everything in him, but he walked down to the building, through glass-doors ornamented by a million sweaty fingerprints, and into a waiting room that smelt of Sellotape.

Unsurprisingly, the stately woman at the desk gave him barely a passing glance, handing him a form to fill in with the enthusiasm of an automatic door sliding open. Also unsurprisingly, the assistant behind her paused in rearranging a filing cabinet to brush a couple of sandy hairs behind her ear and chew the end of a pen like it was made of liquorice. She even wandered aimlessly away from her task altogether, sidling up to the front desk most inconspicuously.

Merlin's mood brightened. While he leant down to scribble his name and address on the paper, he winked discreetly in her direction. In spite of definitely not looking at him, her cheeks turned beetroot crimson and what might have been a giggle or the beginnings of a small heart attack escaped her lips.

Against all of the shoddiness of his day so far, Merlin grinned inwardly, sizing her up with half of his attention. Tall, slender, twenty-one, twenty-two most likely. Stray blonde curls framed a thickly tanned face, the rest piled atop her head in a bun. In all, not a bad picture, although her wardrobe did leave something to be desired: Bell-bottomed jeans and a T-shirt reading "Darth Vader was framed", betraying that

A. She still thought that bell-bottomed anything was a good look, and

B. That she had never paid more than six quid for a shirt.

However, her figure and the hang of her hair more than made up for those discrepancies. Perhaps he could get something out of this counselling after all. With this in mind, he cleared his throat loudly,

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss," he waved the form vaguely in front of his face, "but I have a small problem."

Perhaps knowing exactly what he was doing and being used to it by this point, the woman, Ms Marion- who had decided that underneath a lace cardigan was the place for a name tag- ignored him completely, leaving miss bell-bottoms to round the edge of the counter and come to stand by his side over the offending form.

"What's the matter?" She asked, sincerely.

"Y'see," Merlin began, fixing her with a smile that even Jack admitted made anyone weak at the knees, "right here it's asking me for something that I just don't really get." He pointed accordingly, and bell-bottoms leant in closer. To get a really good look at the text, of course.

"We need your mobile number."

"Oh, I see, now here's the thing." Wearing a look of utter helplessness, he faced bell-bottoms completely. She appeared confused, her face becoming redder by the second. "I don't have one of those."

"What?"

"A mobile number." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You wouldn't mind terribly giving me yours, would you?"

If he squinted, Merlin was fairly certain he would see her bell-bottomed soul leaving her body and fluttering out of the window. He took her lack of reaction as an invitation,

"Lin Pendragon." He extended one hand, still cloaked in a fingerless glove the colour of wet bark. Despite his housemates deciding otherwise, Merlin was in fact not his actual name, and he would sooner be caught dead than introducing himself with it to an attractive young woman such as this. "Part time Ancient Historian, full time Romantic."

Bell-bottoms took the hand and shook it with unexpected firmness,

"Gowlle Delocks. Part time assistant, full time, um..." She seemed a little lost, floundering like a GCSE English paper "Full time-"

"Doctor Morgan LeFey. Part time tolerator of tardiness. This is not one of those times Mister Pendragon."

Spinning on his heel and effectively knocking the form onto the floor, Merlin faced the speaker, who stood in the doorway of a side-office like a disgruntled flamingo.

One thing came to mind when Merlin looked at the counsellor and that was the smell created when someone burns popcorn in a microwave. Forehead too small; nose too large, a hairy wart taking up most of it; everything that should end in a curve ending in an acute, needle-like point. She looked like a bad imitation of a Picasso painting come to life. Yellow hair that might have been blonde hung from her scalp, which he could almost see for how thin the stuff was; and her olive skin was definitely closer to a pale, sickly green from where Merlin was standing. The murky, sky-blue gown that would have looked excessive in the nineteenth century certainly didn't help. Summed up, she looked like a creature one would throw something at if it approached them on a dark night. Merlin felt his nose wrinkle in disgust.

So, he had been forced into counselling by a literal witch. Today was just going swimmingly wasn't it.

Dr Lefey's "office" was exactly what Merlin expected. Save of course for a cauldron, broomstick and small children in display cases. Indigo curtains rather than blinds hung at each side of a wide picture window that looked out on a garden peppered by horrendous little gnomes. Their China faces were stained green by years of mildew build-up. Her wooden floor she had covered with gaudy, knitted rugs, and the sides of her desk had glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to them. On the off-white walls hung various, tasteless frames of all sorts and colours, each depicting a photograph taken by somebody who was evidently not a professional photographer. One such picture especially caught his eye.

"This you, Miss… Lefty?" The question was stupid, of course it was her, every other human being on the planet had at least managed to look like one. The photo showed the woman sitting in a cluster of children underneath a cobbled-together shack, a paper tiara on her head and a wand made out of several plastic straws. "The fairy princess in the mauve cardigan?"

"First," She answered, pushing the door shut behind her with her pointy hip, "It's Doctor Lefey, but you will call me Morgan in these sessions." Merlin couldn't help but smirk internally when she assumed there would be more than one of these nightmares. "Second, yes, that is me in the photograph, November, four years ago, Uganda, a recycling activity. And third," The slam of a hefty file being dropped unceremoniously on to a desk made Merlin jump. "I was the fairy Queen."

"Well, your majesty," he ducked his head in a mock bow, "you've aged..." At first, he searched for an adverb but then realised, he didn't particularly need one.

Morgan gave Merlin that pinched smile that he'd seen Arthur's girlfriend, Gwen, give customers at The Golden Goose Cafe when they told her she had no idea who she was dealing with. Also called the 'booting-you-into-next-Thursday-would-cost-twenty-pounds-an-hour-but-i-am-legitimately-considering-it' face. Merlin ignored her easily. He'd had years of practise doing so.

He plopped himself down onto a teal green sofa with a ketchup stain running up one arm. It wasn't a comfortable seat, but the garish pixie cushion did help somewhat. Morgan paid him no attention, leafing through the thick file which she had retrieved moments before. She paid him no attention for a little too long.

As aforementioned, Merlin was fine with ignoring people. Even enjoyed it sometimes. Unattractive waitresses, bin-collectors, overweight people at the gym, pedestrians. Being ignored, however, was a far less comfortable experience. Probably because it was such a rare one. He coughed into the pasty silence.

"Those your medical records?" The room was quiet enough to facilitate a pin drop sounding like a bowling ball being dropped. A long, controlled intake of breath was easily made out. “Cosmetic surgery?”

"No." She said shortly, continuing with her browsing, "but they are yours." Merlin quickly stopped ignoring her. "And your birth records and your parents birth records and every other detail of your stimulating life story, Merlin." He short-circuited momentarily.

"That's not my-"

"No, it isn't your given name, but it's what your roommates call you and according to them, the one you prefer going by." Alright, those googly snitches were going to pay later. He recovered from his surprise gracefully as always, but that left him no less indignant.

"I- I wasn't aware that you'd have access to that information."

"Several reliable sources have identified you as being at risk, Merlin, everything in this folder is strictly need-to-know." A smile that could have been genuine spread across her features, and it may have been nice if it weren't so nauseating to look at. He crossed his arms and sunk lower into the sofa, muttering to himself,

"You hardly 'need-to-know' about the name though."

"Obviously, anything said in this session doesn't leave this room and the values and standards of Southend University are to be observed at all times." With quick strides on legs like skipping ropes, Morgan left her desk and placed herself gracelessly on a trademark shrink chair.

The ‘So, Merlin.’ Was audible on her spindly lips before they left them.

"So, Merlin. First, I'd like you to relax," Difficult, I'm sitting across from a gorgon, I'm a man moments from death, "and tell me about your background, where you're from, your family." He gave her a blank look.

"You just told me that you have a massive file telling you that stuff."

"Yes, but I'd like to know that you also know that stuff. Reviewing your case will prove very difficult if we aren't on the same page. Now, if you please." With an exasperated puff of air into his cheeks, Merlin leant forward so that his elbows braced against his knees and his hands clasped together.

"Fine. I was born in Seoul, South Korea; my parents died in a car accident when I was three. I was brought to England to live with an aunt in Ipswich."

"And you were comfortable with this change?" The interruption caused Merlin to blank for a second.

"Wha- I was three. I was comfortable sitting in a tumble dryer with knickers on my head!" This retort was not appreciated, judging by the tapping of Morgan's pencil against a green clipboard that had seemingly materialised out of thin air.

"These are regulation questions, try not to overthink your answers." With this she returned to drawing writing utensils from the ether apparently, a silent signal for him to continue. Already, Merlin's mind was going through fantasies of sprinting down the hill, across the high street and off the end of Southend pier.

"Alright then, the aunt was arrested when I was six-"

"Why was she arrested?"

"Are shrinks meant to interrupt their patients?"

"I'm not a shrink, I'm a University counsellor, why was your aunt arrested?" Nothing about this experience was relaxing. Getting a Frostino with Miss Delocks, the part-time-assistant would have been relaxing.

"Possession of illegal firearms. Just a taser. Five years in prison under the law of the United Kingdom. Happy?"

"Yes, this is very helpful. So, your guardian was arrested and…"

"I went into care, obviously. Seven foster homes over six years. Adopted after my eleventh birthday by Igraine Pendragon and her husband. I moved into their home in York, Summered in Cumbria; went to school with their son. Igraine died when I was fifteen, Uther when I was seventeen. Arthur and I moved out to one of the cottages we own in Leigh two years ago. It was all perfectly fine and now here I am at Southend University in a counselling session I didn't ask for with a counsellor that I'm certain nobody has ever asked for." Okay, the last bit slipped out half unwarranted, but he might as well be honest.

Long, mole-flecked fingers curled and tightened around the edges of her clipboard, leaving dents in the malleable green cork like it was plasticine.

"Right." Came a snarled response from between smiling teeth. "Now, on to some more current information: Who do you live with during your time at the University?"

"Igraine’s son, Arthur, and the five student tenants who rent out rooms." That felt weird to say. For some reason, whenever Merlin thought about the six other occupants of Stanrocc cottage, it was hard to remember that they weren’t all related in one way or another.

“Right, and are you comfortable with these living arrangements?”

“I’m a University student who gets to live in a fully catered house free of charge, what do you think?” The pinched ‘threaten-to-speak-to-my-manager-again-and-I-will-hit-you-with-a-shoe’ smile returned.

“Okay then.” A rustling of paper signalled that the background questions were mercifully coming to a close, as, Merlin hoped, was this entire experience. Unfortunately, the next words out of the witches’ mouth weren’t, ‘thank you for your time, Mister Pendragon, I hope you and Miss Delocks have a splendid afternoon.’ Instead she intertwined her grotesque fingers and looked him in the eye. The fact that he didn’t turn to stone was a shock.

“Now, Merlin, I’d like to know what features you look for when meeting new people.” Alright, not what he’d wanted or expected to hear.

“Is this a personal interview-”

“Just-” Morgan closed her eyes and pressed her lips together until they completely disappeared into her face. “Answer the question, Merlin.”

“I look for the same things anyone looks for. Do they look approachable? Would I want to be seen with them out and about? Those kinds of things.” He darted his eyes from Morgan’s varicose ankles to her sloping forehead.

“So, you base the value of other people’s company solely upon their outward appearance and draw any and all judgements from those assets?” There were too many words in that sentence, was all Merlin could think in response. When he did finally puzzle out what the question actually was, he gave the woman a jovial nod. Finally, they were on the same wavelength.

“Of course I do, how a person looks tells you a lot about who they are, doesn’t it?”

Morgan must have been writing something down, but it still felt as though her eyes had not left Merlin for a second. An intake of breath through her wide nostrils filled the room.

“To some extent, maybe.” She shifted on her chair and the look in her eye of a person who had gotten exactly what they wanted was unnerving. “Merlin, do you think you feel this way about other people because these mentalities could have been forced on you in the past?” Her nasal voice had become one of understanding and professionalism, the Northern accent thinning considerably. Merlin didn’t like it at all. “Maybe you feel as though you personally are liked or disliked for nothing besides how you look?”

Throughout this entire, stupid session, Merlin had been wanting to avoid answering questions. Now all he wanted to do was say something so devastating yet so on point that it would shut this witch up for the rest of her career. And yet his tongue remained still, rooted to the floor of his mouth.

“I see.” The counsellor stood and shook out her skirts with the smug air of a woman victorious. Merlin wanted to throw something at her. Like a shoe. She went around to the back of her desk and retrieved a post-it-note shaped like a unicorn. “I’m giving until the beginning of the new term to combat this problem that we seem to have here." In one motion she ripped away the post it note and was making her way back towards him, brandishing it like a literal curse rather than simply the figurative one that it clearly was. She handed it to him unforgivingly.

"I'd like you to try a social activity that is purely audio based. Interactions with others that don't allow them to see your appearance." The urge to crumple the note into a ball was strong. “I’ll schedule another session three weeks from now.”

"And what if I'm perfectly happy with the way things are? I don't need to change anything." Merlin shot back, and control of the situation brushed his fingertips before Morgan's condescending smile dragged it out of reach again.

"Tell me, Merlin, how many reports do you think I received from your professors and peers of this self-important, judgemental behaviour?" Merlin was already standing as he milled the question over for a full couple of seconds.

"One or two, I'd imagine." He finally mumbled. The witch drummed her pencil against her crossed arms and shook her head. "Well," Merlin started, "it can't have been-"

"Twenty-four." She didn't look victorious now, just a little sorry. That was so much worse. "Twenty-four different people, who you have known for only a year or so. Still think you don't need to change anything?"

Merlin didn't want to look around at her ridiculous face again. He didn't think he even knew twenty-four people well enough for them to report him. Her voice carried on no matter how much he wanted it not to.

"If I don’t see improvement three weeks from now, regardless of how you feel about it, I won't have anything to present against a decision to remove you from your course entirely."

The facts stung like poisonous, green smoke in Merlin's head. He pulled at the ornamented door handle, dismissing himself. Then a question came into his mind and forced itself to be asked.

"What activities would you suggest, then?"

"Start an interactive podcast; volunteer for a University chat-line; Online gaming." Merlin's humourless scoff punctuated her list.

"Yeah, no. I'm not an ‘over the phone’ kind of guy." He stepped out into the hallway and noticed Miss Delocks' head spin in his direction. The last ten minutes had dampened any mood he might have been in for going out, but that didn't mean he couldn't at least try to cheer himself up. He heard one last reply from the witch before he strode off in the assistant’s direction,

"Keep that attitude up and you won't be a "Part-time Ancient Historian" either."

In case the presence of a pale pink fiesta with mermaid stickers running along the doors wasn’t indicative enough, the loud guffaws and scattered shouts told Merlin that his housemates had company. This was before he even reached the top of the hill. Night was creeping across the sky already. Merlin would have liked to stay out longer, but the witches’ words had stuck a little too keenly to him, and a college bar surrounded by five beautiful young ladies was not, it seemed, the best place to process things.

Stanrocc cottage was one of a kind really. It was called a cottage because it managed to be too small to be a villa but also too pretty to be a house. The walls were brick, covered in an artsy kind of cement stuff with shells mixed into it, then painted white. Kingfisher blue window frames peeked out from beneath an overgrowth of marble-like gladioli and ballet-slipper foxgloves. The diminutive front garden was mostly taken up by the wild-cherry tree that had looked hurricanes and landfalls in the face, released a string of angry expletives and stayed precisely where it was with zero intention of ever going away. Around its ankles sprung up Snowdrops every Winter, but right now, in the twilight of August, the space was taken up by a hoard of decaying daffodil corpses.

Through one of the windows, a blonde head was just visible. It stood up haphazardly and came to the door when Merlin knocked. Jack appeared in the doorway, but he’d barely laid eyes on Merlin before he was leaning back inside and shouting into the noisy fray, his accent thick, probably from laughing,

“Ee’s back!” With that he left the door hanging open. Merlin entered, a little disgruntled at the lack of welcome, until he got inside and found out why. Seated on the various beanbags, chairs, and sofas, were their usual six occupants, but with them were four less usual ones. Alright, not that unusual, three of them Merlin knew he recognised.

First was Arthur’s fiancée, Gwen. She was a common recurring visitor. Whenever Arthur wasn’t following her around the café, she was following him around the cottage. The other two present were less clearly defined by engagement rings or Facebook relationship status’.

Upon sitting back down on his very expensive armchair, Jack had one-hundred-and-fifty centimetres of pink-leggings wearing, ashen skinned vegetarian seating herself comfortably on his lap. That one was Viviane… Or Niniane. Merlin never actually paid attention when Jack gushed about her, but he was almost sure her name was one of those. She was Jack’s “study partner'', both of them being up and coming chemists. Funny, because to Merlin’s knowledge, studying didn’t usually involve reclining on each other’s laps; playing with each other’s hair (or her playing with his, at least) and going out on spa trips together. If they weren’t together, Merlin couldn’t blame Jack. All spread-out, round eyes and large lips, she did look a little like a fish with legs.

Lastly there was Briar. Nobody actually knew what Briar was. Was she Hans’ friend? His girlfriend? A kind of omnivorous goat? It was a mystery. Altogether they knew seven things about her: Like Hans, she was German; she took fencing lessons; her wardrobe consisted entirely of ankle-length, floaty skirts and a special talent of hers was tripping over literal air. She slept with a baseball bat, wore purple contacts in her eyes and, while you wouldn’t imagine so from her physique, she had the appetite of a full grown horse. They didn’t even know what she was doing at the Uni. With her legs folded in front of her, she leant on her maybe-boyfriend-maybe-friend’s signature bean bag chair, one hand holding a row of scrabble pieces. The other was surreptitiously burrowing through Hans’ homemade bag of steak flavoured crisps, which famously tasted like dog food to everyone but those two. The curly-headed bag-holder didn’t seem to mind at all.

There was one other girl with them, seated on a folding chair between Briar’s feet and Arthur’s elbow. Merlin gave her barely a passing glance however, taking in a round figure, cherry-pink shorts, and shoulder-length brown hair before he lost interest.

Maybe you feel as though you personally are liked or disliked for nothing besides how you look.

The counsellor’s stupid voice drove through his thoughts unbidden like an off-rail train. He shook his head and shoved them back down into his subconscious where they belonged, ready to be forgotten.

The ringing of the words, however, was replaced by his stomach gurgling irritably. A muffin and a salted-caramel hot chocolate were not enough to go on for a whole afternoon. His eyes fell on the Chinese food containers strewn about the coffee table and surrounding floor. A takeaway was a rare occasion in Stanrocc cottage. In the entire county of Essex, there were exactly four fast-food establishments that Hans trusted and respected, and thus, would allow them to purchase from. Two of these were fish-and-chip shops; one- Merlin’s particular favourite- did flame-grilled kebabs; and the last one was the Jade Dragon Restaurant. Very expensive- meaning Jack was probably to thank for it- and very, very good Chinese food. It dawned on Merlin a little late that this uncharacteristic treat might have been meant to make him feel better, judging by the sizeable stack of barbecue kebab boxes that could be seen just inside the kitchen door. Nobody else liked barbecue kebabs.

But he was too tired and too hungry to feel bad for not coming back. He’d been busy.

The energetic game of scrabble had come to a standstill when his arrival was announced. Now ten pairs of eyes were on him and six of them were concerned. Merlin made for the kitchen, the multitude of expectant faces making his chest knot.

“Don’t worry about me,” he insisted, half-heartedly when he noticed both Arthur and Hans shifting as if to get up. “I’m going to bed.”

Noki, the second of the triplets, swept up a container filled with Prawn crackers and extended them in Merlin’s direction. He waved them away dismissively.

“Really, it’s fine, I’ll grab something from the fridge.” And with that he left the room.

Much to his dismay, the fridge was a sorry sight, being mostly bare save for half a watermelon and an empty milk carton. It was a Friday, he soon remembered, which meant Hans would be grocery shopping tomorrow. Also, Briar was there.

Footsteps came thudding along the short passage between the living room and the kitchen. Merlin didn’t have to look up to know that an orange vest with arms was blocking the door.

“What do you want, Arthur?” Even in the fridge, Merlin could feel the glare in the back of his head. Crossed arms also wouldn’t be a surprise.

“I want to know where you’ve been, and why you didn’t feel the need to tell us you weren’t coming back?” Merlin finally selected a yogurt cowering at the very back with a best-before date of yesterday. He shut the fridge door with his foot, searching for a clean spoon on the draining board.

“You know you aren’t actually my dad, right?” He plunged the end of the spoon through the paper covering and started ripping the excess away. “I can go where I want.”

“No.” Arthur had now moved completely into the room. “But you’re still one of us, mate, and we were all worried. The triplets almost got in the truck to come pull you out of whatever ditch you’d fallen into.” Merlin actually looked him in the face this time. He was scratching his ghost of a goatee the way he always did when he felt in deep water. “You didn’t exactly leave in great spirits this morning.”

“Lurrk, uum fyrn.” Merlin said through a mouthful of yogurt. The stuff was absolutely repulsive, but it was the best conversation avoidance technique he had without a book to hand. He manoeuvred around Arthur, trying desperately to keep from openly weeping at the foul stuff. The best-before date ought to have been the may-not-kill-you-before date.

“Yeah,” Arthur sighed behind him. “I can see that. But you’re-“ Merlin dashed up the stairs, discarding the yogurt discreetly in the kitchen bin as he passed it.

Arthur had changed since meeting Gwen. It was like something had been plucked out of him. The thing that had made Merlin feel close to him while everything was happening: The adoption, losing both their parents. It was like Arthur had grown up, changed somehow. And had left Merlin behind.

And from what he had seen in the other room, Arthur wasn't the only one.

Merlin emptied the yogurt out of his mouth and gargled mouthwash to get rid of the lingering flavour of overripe strawberries. A knock at his bedroom door interrupted him.

“What did the counsellor say?” It was Arthur again. Merlin had honestly had enough of today. Why couldn’t everyone just leave him be? He wasn’t hurting anyone.

He poked his head out, startling his friend who still had his fist raised to knock again.

“She suggested I take up gaming.”

-*-

Hours later, Merlin turned over his pillow again, trying his absolute hardest to fall asleep. He’d tried relaying a movie in his head, but thinking about the ending just made him sad. He’d tried reading his new book, but Neil Gaiman wasn't particularly relaxing. At last he had just shut his eyes and told himself to sleep, with real authority and gumption. That just made him more awake because his brain hated him.

Eventually he sat up and tugged the string on his lamp. The clock on his desk told him it was 2:26. Merlin’s bones told him that he was actually in a void in which time was a construct of society, and he felt much more inclined to believe the latter. Seeing as somebody, probably Hans, had left a plate of reheated kebabs in front of his door, Merlin hadn’t starved, so he couldn’t explain the hollow discomfort that was plaguing him now.

Actually, he could, he just didn’t want to.

Twenty-four people thought he was a self-important, narcissistic idiot.

Walking around his room to clear his head quickly turned into walking downstairs and into the kitchen to get some shreddies. There were still a few chocolate ones left, them mercifully being the one cereal that Briar didn’t love more than life itself.

As he dejectedly spooned the stuff into his mouth, green smoke came unfiltered through his head again, spelling out: I won't have anything to present against a decision to remove you from your course entirely. Merlin groaned and pulled at his bark coloured hair.

Ancient and Medieval History, while not a popular course, was still difficult to get into. Only twelve or so universities in the country even offered it. And even then, Southend alone offered the module on folklore and mythologies. So many essays, so many projects, so much time spent reading about the sordid love-lives of ancient deities. For nothing apparently. All because some people he didn’t know thought he was self-obsessed.

Nothing added up.

And gaming? Really. Podcasts and chat-lines were an instant nope, but gaming. In his entire twenty years, Merlin had played one game and one game alone. And well, that one was…

Next thing he knew, Merlin had left the congealed cereal lonely on the sink and was fighting his way through a wall of cobwebs into the storage room. The lights hadn’t worked in there for years, so Merlin clasped a battery powered torch from Colchester castle like a lifeline.

With his finger and thumb he gingerly shifted bicycles, boxes of DVDs and even a taxidermy rabbit that had gone to holes, until he saw it. The shiny, green corner of a laptop-games-console-hybrid emerged from the darkness. And then was immediately plunged back into it when the torch exploded in Merlin’s hand, the light flickering away with a puff of smoke. Merlin had expected this, but that didn’t stop him from grabbing the game and high-tailing it out of the storage room before the shadows could grab his ankles and eat him. Safe in his own bedroom again, Merlin intrepidly opened the game.

Fairytale Island was created by Avalon Games nine years ago. In its entire run, localised in Southern England, it sold about three-hundred consoles. These consoles were box-like laptops, but a more accurate comparison would be an oversized Nintendo DS. The keyboard-space was taken up by the controls, while the screen was above. Graphics-wise, it was surprisingly ahead of its time. What you did was you uploaded a full body photograph of yourself, lined up the limbs and head, and voila, you had your avatar!

This particular console had been bought by an incredible woman named Igraine, for the eleven year old boy whom she had fearlessly rescued. Merlin ran a finger gently over the sticker, feeling the scratchy remnants of its glitter-glue border. On it was a simple little message, rounded off with a clumsy smiley face and the letter I, in wide swirling print.

For the most handsome Prince on Fairytale Island!!!

Obviously his avatar had to change, lest he wanted to continue with the slenderman-esque creature created by his imaginative twelve-year-old self.

Merlin had to stand on his bed to get himself into the frame of his plug-in webcam. Not really knowing what to do with his arms, he did the only rational thing and T-posed. In his pyjamas. In front of a game for preteens. At twenty past two in the morning.

If one of his housemates came in now he would kill them and dissolve the body in acid.

The screen counted down, readying the camera.

Three… Two… O-ghlowhfsajfhlsdkhlhdsjfh…………….Error………...rebooting, thank you for your patience.

Well. That seemed fair.

Hopping down as quietly as possible, Merlin watched the static clear from the screen like ghost lightning. He should have expected it. Motorcyclists had long said that ‘Love is when you like someone as much as your motorbike.” Merlin was inclined to disagree, because his bike was the one piece of mechanical equipment that didn’t figure it should explode whenever he dared breathe nearby. No bond would ever be able to trump that kind of loyalty.

Reservedly, he fiddled with a Rubix cube until the screen returned to normal. Nothing seemed that wrong with it.

Until his avatar loaded again.

A brief visit to the bathroom mirror was made so that Merlin could examine both his eyes, but when he came back they found the same sight.

Where there should have been a tall, thin, carrot-shaped, Merlinish mage character, there now resided a tiny, stout- if still Merlinish- one. And it was green. Not even a nice green, like fern or emerald or sage. This was a green that reminded a person of snot and nothing else… Except maybe a dehydrated basil plant.

Merlin bashed his head against the edge of his desk. What had that witch done to him? Why was he concerned about this?

Giving up on answering that question, he looked up to face the diminutive monster that bobbed in place like an excitable pea with legs. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, he tried to reason. If he didn’t focus, it almost looked like an obese, unwell Gollum. But hey, maybe the other players will like that kind of thing?

Without realising it, Merlin scoffed out loud at himself.

Other players? This game had a range of a thousand kilometres squared and was being handled by a technopollyon (a word that was not a word until Merlin discovered there was no term for a person who inadvertently breaks technology, but there were a multitude of Greek words that he could misuse in its place.)

The chances of another pathetic Englishman within his third of Essex being in possession of and online on Fairytale Island at two-thirty that night, were not worth thinking about. Because they were nonexistant.

With that in mind, Merlin took one last bitter look at his avatar, and continued resolutely on to game.

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Wow! Thanks for reading that!!! I hope you enjoyed it!

(Btw, Gwen, Viviane and Briar are my headcannons for the end credit characters and Morgan LeFey is the fairy princess)

Again, thanks so much. I’m putting the next chapter up at some point, this one from Snow’s perspective.

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